Quickfixgrrl
Bluelighter
- Joined
- May 9, 2019
- Messages
- 895
I haven't been on here lately as I've finally awoken from my reckless binge.
I abused this drug terribly, along with alcohol and whatever else I could get my hands on for past few months.
The last few weeks I hit rock bottom. Nobody could get through to me and I didn't realise while I was "in it" that I was actually on a bender, a downward spiral. I was numbing myself and my brain wasn't in a state to process this at all.. I was living each day oblivious to exactly what I was doing because I was too drugged up to notice.
I lost TIME. My memory is patchy, vague and scattered. Conversations I had with people were brought up again and I have zero memory of them. I seriously don't know how I got through this.
Two ambulance rides, rushed to the ER during this time.
Fainting in a very public place, waking up in hospital.
Smashing my head open, 15 stitches along my brow and forehead.
A week ago I woke up stone cold sober and it finally hit me. What the fuck have I been doing? I immediately knew that I HAD to fix my life.
Anyway... I dramatically began a taper off of Lyrica and stopped drinking and abusing everything else. I've had the most horrific week of my life in withdrawal.. I begged to be admitted to a psych hospital. The suicidal ideation and nihilistic views of life/ death/ and reality hit hard. Depression and anxiety like I've never known before.
Long story short; I caught myself, just in time. I was heading for a brick wall, fast.
I'm only just coming out of this and still tapering.
This drug, if taken erratically and during a vulnerable time where you start abusing it daily, is a nightmare.
Withdrawals are fucked right up.
Just thought I'd check in and share.
I abused this drug terribly, along with alcohol and whatever else I could get my hands on for past few months.
The last few weeks I hit rock bottom. Nobody could get through to me and I didn't realise while I was "in it" that I was actually on a bender, a downward spiral. I was numbing myself and my brain wasn't in a state to process this at all.. I was living each day oblivious to exactly what I was doing because I was too drugged up to notice.
I lost TIME. My memory is patchy, vague and scattered. Conversations I had with people were brought up again and I have zero memory of them. I seriously don't know how I got through this.
Two ambulance rides, rushed to the ER during this time.
Fainting in a very public place, waking up in hospital.
Smashing my head open, 15 stitches along my brow and forehead.
A week ago I woke up stone cold sober and it finally hit me. What the fuck have I been doing? I immediately knew that I HAD to fix my life.
Anyway... I dramatically began a taper off of Lyrica and stopped drinking and abusing everything else. I've had the most horrific week of my life in withdrawal.. I begged to be admitted to a psych hospital. The suicidal ideation and nihilistic views of life/ death/ and reality hit hard. Depression and anxiety like I've never known before.
Long story short; I caught myself, just in time. I was heading for a brick wall, fast.
I'm only just coming out of this and still tapering.
This drug, if taken erratically and during a vulnerable time where you start abusing it daily, is a nightmare.
Withdrawals are fucked right up.
Just thought I'd check in and share.