The Joke Thread - Try and make it funny, eh?

[costablanca]

Oh didnt anybody read the link I posted a few pages back....? It might be old news around here, I have no idea. I'd be surprised if it hasn't done the rounds already, but that DONTEVENREPLY.COM is the funniest thing I have seen on the net in years. E-mails from an asshole. Sorry if I am posting old news, but if it makes one person laugh it won't have been a complete waste of time.

http://dontevenreply.com/

good joke is worth losing some time

 

[coors light]

the ad for the shovel is some funny shit.

 

[swedger77]

Seven wheelchair athletes have been banned from the Paralympics after they tested positive for WD40.

 

[swedger77]

My mate just hired an Eastern European cleaner, took her 15 hours to hoover the house. Turns out she was a Slovak.

 

[swedger77]

An Englishman has started his own business in Afghanistan ! He is making land Mines that look like prayer mats! It’s doing well! Prophets are going through the roof!!

 

[Raasyvibe]

My mate just hired an Eastern European cleaner, took her 15 hours to hoover the house. Turns out she was a Slovak.

haha, this was the better of the 2...

I'm trying to think of a joke that's both funny and doesn't discriminate some kind of minority...


Ok... what did the big chimney say to the little chimney?

You're too young to smoke!












*Runs*

 

[StoneHappyMonday]

What did the inflatable teacher in the inflatable school say to the inflatable pupil who brought in a pin?

"You've let me down, you've let the school down, but most of all you've let yourself down..."

 

[Shambles]

That is all.

 

[StoneHappyMonday]

A west Limerick cemetery due to be enlarged has been described as a death trap by local councillors

True story.

 

[Ismene]

What's black and white and red all over.

A wounded nun.

 

[bogman]

My wife said she was leaving because of my obsession with The Monkees, I thought she was joking.






And then I saw her face

 

[coors light]

just watched a quite amusing video of captain planet in belfast. quite amusing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQJrovKgrTw

 

[Raasyvibe]

My wife said she was leaving because of my obsession with The Monkees, I thought she was joking.






And then I saw her face

Don't get it

 

[Raasyvibe]

What's black and white and red all over.

A wounded nun.

Worst joke of the thread

 

[StoneHappyMonday]

Don't get it

Now I'm a believer.

 

[Raasyvibe]

Now I'm a believer.

Still don't get it. But then again i'm on the G&J again so maybe it was a great joke.

Monkees? Im a believer? i'm too young for this shiznit..

 

[Shambles]

Not a trace...

 

[swanhaggisman]

Wake up sleepy

 

[swedger77]

What's the difference between mountains and hills?

Mountains tend to get high, but hills are less inclined

 

[mickeyfinn79]

I was talking two my mate the other day he told me he'd just had a 3some with twins
How did you tell them apart?? I asked
That's easy he said,Sharon's got blonde hair and Derrick has a cock...........