Couple of oldies but goodies.
Man walks into a bar with a steering wheel hanging off the end of his knob.
The bartender says
"You can't come in here like that, you've got a steering wheel hanging off your knob mate!"
Man says
"Tell me about it, it's been driving me nuts all day."
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Two nuns in the bath, one says
"Wheres the soap?"
Other one says
"Does, doesn't it".
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During "The Troubles" in Ireland a Chinese restaurant owner is set upon by masked men with guns on his way home:
"Tell me, are you Protestant or Catholic?!" they demand.
"Neither" he replies, terrified:
"I'm a Buddhist!"
This confuses them for a minute... then they come back with:
"OK, OK, fine Pal! But are you a CATHOLIC Buddhist or a PROTESTANT Buddhist?"
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Mother Superior asks Sister Mary
"If you're accosted by a man in a dark alley demanding sex, what would you do?"
Sister Mary says
"I'd tell him to drop his pants and then I'd raise my habit, of course!"
Her jaw drops.
"Sister Mary! I'm shocked, what on earth possesses you to say such a thing?!"
"Well, it's like this Mother Superior, I can run a lot faster with my habit up than he can with his trousers down!"
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A dastardly racist joke:
Why did the Irish get the potatoes and the Saudis get the oil?
The Irish got to pick first. 8(
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Yet another, I'm going to hell for sure:
Know why Australians call their beer "XXXX"?
They can't spell "Beer" 8)
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You know the difference between an Australian and a pot of yoghurt?
More culture in the yoghurt.
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Ok last one...
Little Johnny is in class and the teacher, Miss Smith, is asking them brain-teasers.
"If there are 3 crows on a wire and I shoot one of them, how many are left"
"None", says Little Johnny.
"Because the other 2 were scared off by the shot"
"Actually, the answer is 2 - but I really like the way you're thinking!" Miss Smith replies.
"Thank you!" he says.
"Can I ask you one please?"
"Well... of course" she replies, nonplussed.
"If there are 3 woman walking down the road eating ice creams; the first one is licking her ice-cream softly and slowly, the second one is licking it quickly and the third one has the whole cone in her mouth and is eating it as quickly as she can - which one is married?" Little Johnny says.
"Well... I'd have to guess the first one is married" the teacher replies, a bit flustered.
"No, it's the one with the wedding ring, Miss - but I really like the way you're thinking!" he says.

:D
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:D :D :D hope you got a kick out of them.
Oh and last but not least... to make up for the racist ones heres something ultra clean (but pretty sick as youll see in a min)
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
.............
.............
.............Drum roll please..........
Because 7 8 9

lol