Reading this thread is a surefire way to feel better about your own situation. No matter how shitty it is, someone has it worse. Stay strong guys.
OT: Today's pain level is a solid 8, compounded by opiate induced hyperalgesia, and the fact it's fecking freezing. Head is pounding, recently been getting some pain worryingly close to organs I've grown to cherish, namely the kidney area and my lower abdomen, right where the liver is... at least I hope it is. Haven't seen a doctor about my knees since I had surgery done on the right one, I realised yesterday that was over 2 years ago, what a stupid decision on my part. Both of them are fucked now. Having a kneecap multiple cm's away from where it's supposed to be is odd. And fucking painful. And given shit is never lonely, the other kneecap was invited to the 'shift around the leg, swell at will, dislocate at will, lock completely by trapping bits of cartilage (that really shouldn't be there) against the femur' all you can eat buffet. The multiple injuries over the years on top of a chronic hereditary problem has meant I struggle to walk most days - I snapped my right ACL a few years ago, then the Medial Meniscus, then the Lateral, progressively injuring almost every single part of the knee. Then, the same in the other knee. Turns out I have cartilage growing pretty much at random in and around the knee which was slowly pushing my kneecap in the opposite direction, thus the tendons and ligaments were in a state of permanent strain without any support. Makes them 'just a little' more prone to snapping. Also, my legs are apparently 'overextended', they can go quite a bit past 180 degrees (straight...) so again, more straining of internal bits and bobs, more snapping. Eventually the cartilage grows between the joint of the kneecap and so gets crushed by the bone against the surface of another bone - as you'd expect, there's a lot of nerves in the knee, and constantly physically crushing them is very, very painful. Though it is preferable to the latter stage, the cartilage grew so thick that it would completely dislocate my kneecap at least twice a week at one point before the surgery. Oh, and how could I forget - arthritis. Arthritic by 18, oh the joys!
The thing that gets to me is that I was so athletic before the first injury - I ran marathons for fun at one point. Every single day I ran 8 miles as a minimum. Once, I ran 16 miles with a 40kg bag on my back, just to make it harder. Along with weightlifting at an age that I really shouldn't have been. I could chest press 55kg with relative ease, I was 11. I was offered a place on a team with Olympic ambitions until they found out my age.
And now? Chronic, unending, awful pain, day in, day out. I can literally use my knees as a fucking barometer - as the air pressure drops, my knees balloon with synovial fluid and the pain, somehow, worsens. So I get a 12 hour early warning system for rain in exchange for it all, not all bad I suppose.
Emotional pain is most certainly present, though I've already filled the Vent/Rant thread with enough of that so I won't spam it here as well.