• Philosophy and Spirituality
    Welcome Guest
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Threads of Note Socialize
  • P&S Moderators: JackARoe | Cheshire_Kat

Social The Delphic Oracle - Know Thyself: P&S Social Ampitheatre of Doom

Fuck, my mood changes so quickly ATM. From pleasant feels to sudden dread. I just had a brief but intense spike of anxiety, I was holding my phone and replying to my dickhead boss and suddenly my phone felt strange in my hand, really smooth, my limbs started to feel 'not-real', my heart rate increased, I got nervous. Being human is almost overwhelmingly strange for me.
 
He's in his seventies and old fashioned, but very intelligent none the less. I'm about to switch my anti depressant due to its failure in working. My psychologist (whom I've been seeing for months now) reccommended me. I go to her for PTSD (which I don't have and doubt her assessment) and, and depressive anxiety disorder (which I do have). Thank you for the inquiry willow.

How are you today?

EDIT: You posted before I could respond. Dude that sucks, you should really bum a spliff.


Do you ever get those moments where you notice something touching you and it starts to feel like a dull pain? Even like a hand on the shoulder?
 
^I am okay. Smoked a bong and watched some porn :D

I'm really sensitive to touch of any kind. In truth, I don't especially like being touched. I really hate people standing too close to me...
 
[MENTION=291415]levelsBeyond[/MENTION]: I like the way you think!:)Definitely an Australian adventurer should captain the voyage--I wonder if you call a balloon a ship when you are sailing the skies?
[MENTION=109521]pharmakos[/MENTION]--I did not know you were going through that. Having recently watched chemo up close with my husband and one of my students, all I can say is that my hat is off to you. What an ordeal. An ordeal for every single cell in the body. Keep a watch out for passing balloons overhead and hop in when you see it.;) (Obscure if you missed that part of this rapidly moving thread but I invited everyone over yesterday and pictured it happening via balloon.=D
 

My thinking was that it's pretty clear that 1,4-BD is metabolized first into 4-hydroxybutyraldehyde, and then into GHB (the other metabolites are less likely). Since people claim that GHB has a clean high, it most likely means that either 1,4-BD itself of its first metabolite are responsible for the dirtiness. The 1,4-BD -> 4-hydroxybutyraldehyde reaction is catalyzed by alcohol dehydrogenase, same enzyme that oxidizes ethanol into acetaldehyde. Higher doses of ethanol are eliminated at a constant rate (zero-order kinetics), which means that the enzyme is saturated, which means 1,4-BD would have a hard time being metabolized by it. So I tested that hypothesis and I did not feel any kind of effect from taking 8 ml of 1,4-BD (which is a huge dose) after drinking ~350-400 ml vodka equivalent. I did it twice with the same results. I think it's safe to conclude that it's unlikely that 1,4-BD itself is responsible for the bad side-effects of its ingestion.

I would actually go for GBL instead of GHB. But GBL is also illegal here, so it's not as easy to import it. I thought about it, but I don't really want to use my workplace for illicit activities.
 
Is AMT the tryptamine analogue/homologue of amphetamine? Actually, what is the difference between an analogue and a homologue?

Dat Google though.

I'm just joking. An analogue is a wider term, which refers to molecules sharing some similar structural motif. A homologue is an analogue which differs from the molecule it's compared to by some kind of repeating unit, for example a methylene (-CH2-) group. In this case aMT is the tryptamine analogue of amphetamine. In the case of aMT, the aromatic ring is an indole ring, in the case of amphetamine, the ring is a benzene ring; otherwise they are identical.
 
amphetamine is dopamine that can cross the blood brain barrier. it would be better to say that dmt plays the same role for serotonin, but still, that's very loose
 
amphetamine is dopamine that can cross the blood brain barrier. it would be better to say that dmt plays the same role for serotonin, but still, that's very loose

He was asking about structure not pharmacology. Of course, in vivo they are not as closely analogous.
 
amphetamine is to dopamine as tryptamine is to serotonin. amphetamine:dopamine::tryptamine:serotonin this is true, right?

they are not analogous, but they do make a nice analogy

just couldn't help myself.....
 
I'm very distraught. My heart is racing and I'm having flashbacks to the relationship of my real father and mother from when I was little.

Currently, my mother and step father are engaged in a screaming match. I don't know how to feel, and have already had two panic attacks.
I don't know how relatable this is to any of you, but if I could have some advice before I try and kill myself that'd be very much appreciated.



I swear to God if I hear my mother cry one more time, I might just break something. I cannot stand this. I'm more anxious than angry.






Please.
 
Come on man, relax. I know what it feels like. I had the same shit with my parents, it also didn't help that my mother is schizophrenic. But it's all temporary. I moved out as soon as I started university, and the problem slowly faded.

The shit we had at home made me scared, anxious and angry at first, but then I just said "fuck it" and distanced myself from them. There's only so much shit one can take to heart on a regular basis. I'm not saying that's a healthy thing to do, because as a result of this I feel like I never had a family, and I don't really see my mother and father as people close to me (not as close as my significant other, by a long shot). But I'm just saying, it's not worth stressing too much over, let alone killing yourself.

I was suicidal during my late teens. But that also started to fade when I started living on my own, and now I haven't felt suicidal at all in a long while. I may be depressed, but who gives a fuck.

Point is, it all passes. Find something to distract yourself from the bullshit. And no, drugs are not the solution.
 
I'm out of stuff to take, so drugs aren't an option for me right now. Thank you vey much for the response though b_d, it is good advice. Distancing myself mentally, just for a bit.GHB would be nice right now.






Speaking of which^, did you ever get your problem with the 1-4 butanediol? I haven't ver actually spoken to a chemist of any sort before so the way you go about looking at the things you take and what may cause whatever is pretty intriguing. Do you get recreational effects with the ethanol consumed? I mean, obviously since it is ethy alcohol you get a drunk, but does the BD still work?
 
What problem are you speaking of? As I previously said, if I've consumed ethanol (even a few beers), the 1,4-butanediol produces no effect whatsoever, which is consistent with the hypothesis that 1,4-BD itself is not active.

Next would be to actually do a more controlled experiment and take 1,4-BD after consuming non-intoxicating (as opposed to ethanol) 1) alcohol dehydrogenase (ADH) inhibitor or 2) aldehyde dehydrogenase (ALDH) inhibitor. I have a feeling that it may be the 4-hydroxybutyraldehyde responsible for the unpleasant side-effects of 1,4-BD, so if this hypothesis is correct, then taking it after ADH inhibitor will not produce any effect, while taking it after ALDH inhibitor will produce the nasty side-effect.

Another thing I've been considering is the fact that both GHB and phenibut are GABA-B receptor agonists, as opposed to benzos and ethanol, which act on the GABA-A receptors. I have taken phenibut quite a lot and I noticed that in higher doses, it produced these weird involuntary movements of fingers. The same effect is observed after taking higher (3-4 ml) doses of 1,4-BD, which makes my fingers move involuntarily a lot, which makes typing really hard for example, because I keep pressing buttons without wanting to do so. This led me to think that maybe there's something wrong with my GABA-B system, because phenibut wasn't all that pleasant for me either, as is 1,4-BD.
 
Nixiam, you got to find a healthier way to deal with some of the stuff that's going on in your life. I'll spare you the drug spiel only cause I've said it before and you've seen the misery it creates hanging out here. Unless you're a goth kid or something like that and your getting your kicks on having a soul dark as night (I don't get that vibe from you), digging yourself deep down the misery hole ain't doing you no favors.

Remember what Herbavore said about feeling sad? It's really true. Without a story saying "this shouldn't be" it ain't so bad. Pain don't hurt that bad, you don't have to go to such great lengths to hide from it. Pain that shouldn't be becomes suffering, and that's a bitch. Imagine spending two years obsessing about pulling off a band-aid and how much it's gonna hurt. The faster you rip it off the less it hurts. Truth is, emotions are there to be felt. if you live somewhere with some nature and privacy, go scream your heart out somewhere in the woods. I still do it now and again. Feels really good to be honest. Or next time they're fighting, instead of pacing back and forth in your room going nuts, sit down and face it. Look it straight in the eye that feeling. Feel it well up inside you. See how deeply you can feel it without telling any other story other then "I'm gonna feel this." Storm clouds do their thing. Dump a little rain and move on. That's some shit right there man. You'll be surprised, that emotion is like raw fuel man. You write poems with it, gaze deeply into a woman eyes and have them swoon, all that shit. Own it. It means you're alive.
 
Top