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🌟🌟 Social 🌟🌟 The Dark Side Social Thread v. Darksiders Forever

I’m going to be seeking a referral to a psychiatrist or psychologist through the Telehealth apps tomorrow. It’s about time I get back on this, it’s been 5 years since I’ve had a regular psych doc.

Love how so much medical stuff can be done via apps now. Can probably see psych doc over video chat too if I advocate for that.

Need a new GP too. I wonder if I dig around what I can accomplish that way online. Probably could use these apps to find one in a roundabout way.
 
Audiobook said:
I hope that goes well for you!!

Good luck!!
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I’m

bipolar type 2
High functioning autism
Substance use disorder
Depression / anxiety
currently in biggest meth addiction of my life

edit: forgot to mention ADD. I’m kind of fucked.

Definitely need the help lol. I’vereferred myself into a local Canadian Mental Health Association counseling service today too. Also in an LGBT youth focused harm reduction / addictions counseling lately which is going great.
 
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It's been a long time since I've posted here, but I felt like I needed to vent.

I have since posting been through a complete fucking hell of a time, and I'm so done with life. Nothing gets better, everything only gets worse. I wish I could just dissapear, or never wake up again.
 
Cloudie said:
It's been a long time since I've posted here, but I felt like I needed to vent.

I have since posting been through a complete fucking hell of a time, and I'm so done with life. Nothing gets better, everything only gets worse. I wish I could just dissapear, or never wake up again.
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Hang in there Cloudie; and all Darksiders; cooped up too long causes the crazy to come out for all of us; It is a big fat struggle everyday and we all live it to the end:; Much love to you all! Remember that this too shall pass.
 
trying to keep my sobriety from stimulants its been two years since i quit them but lately i feel a strong urge to start using them again i just feel so tired. honestly still feel the negative side effects of using them for a very long time period even after been clean from them for a while now.
 
TripSitterNZ said:
trying to keep my sobriety from stimulants its been two years since i quit them but lately i feel a strong urge to start using them again i just feel so tired. honestly still feel the negative side effects of using them for a very long time period even after been clean from them for a while now.
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Love/hate is the stimulating gameplay always
 
That sucks @Audiobook
Never really worked retail. I have worked at a grocery store once, and I remember working the days before thanksgiving & thanksgiving day, and it was pretty brutal. I can only imagine what it must be like working @ a department store like Wallyworld.
I've read some interesting articles about how the employees are 'taken care of' @ Wallmart and I am not to happy with reading it.
I guess just look @ some of the positives about it, like you are working and making $ to pay for bills and shit. not to mention the new ps5 is coming out and i am sure you are wanting to get one lol.
I'm starting to notice more and more homeless people around here. Usually give out sack lunches to the lot of them on saturdays and the tent citys that we have been going to are growing. I've met all kinds of people that are homeless, and it's sad really, but it makes me look at my own life, and shows what I can go back to.

Since we are talking about jobs, I start my new job in the morning. Was told that my shirt cannot have any wrinkles, and I have the slightest idea on how to use an iron. Was never really shown that when growing up I guess.
Have been looking into ways to avoid having to iron, and I read where you can like toss a damp towel in with a shirt and put it on for a couple of minutes. So I might try that here in a little bit to try and be somewhat prepared for the job.
Looking forward to it. All this weekend I have been reseting my internal clock just so I can have a normal sleep, and wake up @6am.
Wish me luck!
 
This year almost did me in. Back in july i was very close to putting a 12 gauge shell through the side of my head. Keep fighting on struggling up and down still here because of LSD. Got big plans for next year going to go full on sober and work my ass off to get good grades in post grad chemistry. Renewed my deep faith in a higher power. For the next two months i will still party and take some drugs but once this year is done thats it. Even psychedelics i need to take a extended break
 
had a great first day of work. it was nothing new really, just doing like administrative duties rather then peer to peer specialist duties. more answering the phone, directing calls, fax's and emails such, and didn't have to call the law once today! which was pretty fucking amazing! i'm so used to calling 911 atleast once a day, because usually there is some drunk asshole that cant seem to tone it down and refuses to leave or worse one might bloop out on the workers. so yeah was really good!

Like I know this could be worse, and that it will get better, but yea. IDK.
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i dont see any reason them like letting you go or something before the holidays. more so they would hold onto you more than anything.
 
I'm sorry TDS I've failed you; I wish I could be positive today but all I have to share is psychotic ramblings and my grating personality

I'm just depressed again + don't know what to do anymore
 
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hell yeah we all have terrible times. man almost 5 years ago i was sleeping on the outside of a health plaza type of building homeless af scrolling bluelight on my flip phone. i was drinking warm steel reserves. wondering how i am going to get another beer, and i would have done anything for $ to get alcohol, or just steal the booze. then turned into mouthwash, and talk about being shitty.
i would have killed myself, or had got myself killed if i hadn't decided to seek help.
there are some good days that fallow after the dark ones.
 
I am feeling 25% less dark; but I almost let myself get used again by the young lady that most recently broke my heart; Luckily I talked to a few friends and they talked me out of my stupidity
 
Audiobook said:
Hope it gets better for you soon.
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Momentary Lapse of Reason (sorry Pink Floyd thats just a cool phrase)

Things have been getting better but I pretty much threw my marriage away last month and I'm still trying to forgive myself; We didn't separate and everythings back to normal;

Sadly back to normal is never good enough for me and includes wasting away for what feels like hours + boredom
 
Audiobook said:
Almost out of Ritalin and I won’t be able to get more until the 20th of next month.

But I am getting through school work.

Had a appt with my psychiatrist, he is not happy that I stopped my Fanapt, but tbh fuck that. Also he says that he will not give me Adderall.

My therapist says I should probably see someone more experienced with aspergers and ADHD, and I am looking into that. Especially since apparently people with aspergers can have transient psychosis when they are stressed.

Like, honestly it’s kinda hard to see this as my psych looking out for me when I have admitted before to abusing Ambien, and he still offers me it almost every visit.

He also prescribed a fuck ton of benzos when I first started with him and that backfired because I tried to kill myself with them.

Then I was ripped off them cold turkey and when I was withdrawing he was of zero help.

Like at this point I don’t see much point in staying with him, because it’s just not working.

If he won’t treat my ADHD they way it needs to be treated in order for me to succeed in school, then I can find someone else.

Like, looking back it’s just hard for me to see him as looking out for my health.

Because obviously he has no issue prescribing stuff that can cause an altered state (Ambien) that I have said in the past has been problematic.

Edit: And also my therapist thinks I might not actually be mentally ill, but that I have reactions to the environment I am in due to my aspergers.
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It took me forever to find a psychiatrist that treated me adequately; I flew through many; Keep the hunt up there are other doctors
 
I also seem to have aspergers and issues with transient psychosis. Alcohol was like the worst fucking drug when I didnt use antipsychotics. Shit was so frightening back then. I feel like Im currently in control of myself and not the disease. Use it as a tool rather than fight it etc.

You thinking you were developing schizophrenia is why I should try to taper and quit my 5mg olanzapin script, cause that shit is heavy on the mind. What doses are you taking?

They most definitely should put you on adderall. Adhd meds more often than not end up helping. Doctors often have their own biases and favors, its just natural. So maybe find a new doc.
 
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