melatonin last i knew just affected your circadian rhythm, and thats how it puts SOME people to sleep.
from what i understand, and what i was told by a doctor, in some people melatonin is more effective than actual depressants, while in others it has no effect.
more like i'm quickly realizing that just doing amphet DOES make me feel a little better but it doesn't fix anything...and doing it often to numb loneliness and all that isn't too good of a plan.
i'm still not opposed to occasionally dabbling...but i know at least ATM with my situation it cant be occasional, its pretty much all or none. cause every damn time i get a proper amount in me and start to say fuck you to the world, it seems like the best possible thing i could have done..when after i'm forced to come to terms with that i've just been numbing myself and that while things don't get better...doing amphetamines isnt gonna make anything better in the long run at least.
@chitown
half the appeal that amphetamines have (that seemingly absolutely nothing else i've tried does...not methylphenidate, not MDMA, not psyches, not benzos, not opiates) is that when i'm tweaked as fuck, i can still recognize that i'm...at the very least a thieving little cunt, if not a downright fuckup, but it makes me not care. thats why i like/liked them...cause i'd feel shitty (long before the drugs) and amphetamines just made me say fuck the world.
if it worked like it used to i wouldnt have any desire to quit. instead i can do 3-4 times what i used to do, and instead just be wide awake with thoughts racing about all the shit i've fucked up, all the disappointments, all the loneliness.......
. when I get less than 8 hours I feel mad groggy though. I've taken seroquel a few nights in the past couple weeks and woke up after like 6 hours and I found myself falling asleep trying to cut peppers at work lolol.
![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
