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The Cuddle Puddle vers. Superior serotonin system

Should SinisterMuffin post more pics?

  • Yes

    Votes: 2 10.5%

  • Fuck yes

    Votes: 12 63.2%

  • No

    Votes: 5 26.3%
  • Total voters
    19
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I guess you could call it that... I don't really think anyone ever completely loses it to be honest. Even in my heaviest abuse I was able to roll billiards. I was just thinking tonight how the last like 20 shows I've been to before last weekends show I was sober maybe drinking some beers and I had so much more fun. Don't get me wrong I took 2 pink ='s and rolled my balls off, just when I take MDMA I get a bit self self conscious when dancing and such (most people get the opposite of this). I just don't go as hard on the dance floor, and therefor don't enjoy myself as much. I tend to stand to the side eyes wobbling retarded in amazement by the lights.. just not my idea of fun. I told myself I wouldn't take benzos anymore since february 1st and I find the comedown from MDMA verrrry annoying without a xanny bar. A bunch of reasons I guess. It's a great drug and I'm grateful for everything its done for me, it just isn't the same as it used to be. :)


Keaton- I know man, I just can't do that to be honest. You guys don't know my patterns of use but once I pop the fun don't stop I guess. I mean I've rolled twice in the last 2 weeks (once in the week and then the NEXT weekend), and I still feel like I haven't been doing it that much. I even planned on rolling saturday night... my relationship with the drug is just not healthy.. I'm envious of you guys who can keep it to once a month.. PS Like my editing skills ??? :)
 
Well you've gotta end your relationship sooner or later I guess.. I'm still seeing her myself tho :)
 
well for once, i can say feeling real shitty has caused some good.
i felt shitty enough to know that more amphet isnt gonna help, and i popped a bunch of melatonin, it cant hurt.
 
@chitown - I was the same way man, I took a good break and came back and I have realized what I need to do, to keep my self at a decent gap between rolls. Last time I dropped was in cali so may 20th, i don't plan on rolling again until July 1st. Its all about will power, and Ive said the same thing you're gunna say "cant do it, if its in front of me its gone". But realize that you CAN do it, space yourself from the connect, hang with a different clique maybe. There's always small things you can do to prevent it.

I'm glad I found my way because I've learned to enjoy shows sober much much more and the self conscious thing? I feel the same way but eventually I just say fuck it, don't like my dancing? Deal with it, you don't have to watch. I'm in my zone doin what IIIIII WANT TO DO. Not what other people think I should be doing.


Also....im kinda buzzed so I'm not sure how much sense that made, will read in the morning.
 
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do your thing brother. I've had a long relationship with the bitch, taken way too many of them, and I just know its not only the smartest thing to do. If I didn't used to roll every friday and saturday I would be still going... I fucked it up. I wouldn't call it losing the magic, because its still magical every time, its just not nearly as fun. I guess the costs are starting to outweigh the benefits.


What's up with yall tonight?
 
Nah bro I get what your saying, but I've went to coooouuunnntttless shows in the past 5 months where all my friends are rolling and I'm the only one chillin on a few beers. After rolling at a show last week I just realized that I was having way more fun as the drunk guy that the guy rolling... weird, but that's just what happened. It makes no sense, and I can't explain it but I guess that's just how shit goes nigggga
 
I'm crashing early, nodding already but I'll stick around for a bit
 
I find so much weird shit when I clean my room, I swear. So far: a broken rosary, a pink shot glass that says "Alaska" on it, a little baggie full of black metal band pins, and a shell made of graphite.

I have no idea where any of these came from. I can't wait to see what the rest of the night brings.
 
^thats how i feel more and more every day with regards to amphetamines.
except they'er not magical...they just dont make me apathetic enough to be as fun anymore.
i nom'd 18mg of melatonin over the last 20 mins, sat outside and had a few smokes, luckily before it started raining (it just started as i began typing this post)
i'm rather happy that at least once i listened to the voice in my head (not literally a voice mind you..) but that nagging feeling that doing amphetamines isn't gonna really help, instead of just saying fuck it like i have been for more than a year.
damn mofos posted while i was typing this.
at least the nicotine is probably helping me feel less shitty ATM
i'm starting to actually learn now i think that just doing amphetamines to try to block out my feelings isn't worth it anymore.
if it worked like it used to it would be a different thing...
 
^^^ A full blown clean of ones room often holds many treasures.

EDIT: llama thats good to hear man!!! Cant escape life all the time. :thumbsup:
 
i just realized i haven't rolled in two months. i haven't had this kind of self control with psychs in awhile.
though i suppose my heavy drinking is somewhat of a factor in all of this...


nahhhh
awwwwyeah.jpg
 
^ word llama. that's what's up. I never used drugs as an "escape". In rehab everyone would ask why I did drugs and I was like "uhhhh, for fun? why does anybody do drugs"... they didn't understand why I was taking 10 xanax bars at a time for fun... but to each his own I guess. I had fun!!!! hahahaha
 
Owl Eyed said:
i just realized i haven't rolled in two months. i haven't had this kind of self control with psychs in awhile.
though i suppose my heavy drinking is somewhat of a factor in all of this...


nahhhh
awwwwyeah.jpg
Click to expand...

My next drop will be about 50sumodd days since last rolling.

I hope its fucking epic
 
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