• Life Advice & Visual Arts Welcome Guest
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    🌌 Share Your Dreams! 🌌
    📸 15 Years of Photo Contests 📸
  • LAVA Moderator: Shinji Ikari

the bluelight preconception, pregnancy and parenting l337ness thread

Status
Not open for further replies.
My first choice would definitely be a midwife at home. The problem with that is my location; specifically, an island on the outskirts of Buttfuk, Alaska. There are no midwives on island, and my insurance flatly refuses to pay to bring one over, even though it can't possibly cost any more than flying me to a city and putting me up in a hotel for 2 weeks, and a hospital overnight.

There are also no hospitals here. Women generally go to Ketchikan to birth at the hospital there. There is a birthing center in Juneau that I'm looking into, but it looks almost as sterile and clinical as a hospital. Still, so far, it appears to be my best option. And they have water birthing, which sounds awesome! They also have complete strangers who think they should be able to touch my cervix whenever they feel like it. Boy are they gonna be in for a shock!

You are absolutely correct that med-folk are unsupportive in the extreme of home-birthing. When my daughter was born, I took her into the clinic the next morning to weigh her, as I didn't have a baby scale. The bitch at the clinic turned me in to child protective services for daring to birth at home without medical supervision. I'm NOT over it.

I really dislike ob/gyns (especially males -- wtf?? they have NO business in womens' issues, and are obviously motivated by money!). They act like they're NECESSARY to the birthing process, and just ignore the fact that women have been doing this without them for millenia. They hate to be reminded that infant mortality rates are lower in places where midwife-assisted home births are the norm -- they get downright hostile!

The more I think about doctors, nurses, med-techs, and other scrub-clad know-it-alls, the more I'm tempted to just buy a plastic sheet and do it the old-fashioned way again.
 
oh hai parent thread.

glad to see you.

i have a pretty bad ass 2 year old boy. he likes chords and electrical outlets and his favorite word is douchebag. <<<good job mom.

probably thinking about number 2 come fall.
 
Samadhi said:
^ I really hope you can find a solution that is suitable for you and your husband. Is the option of a birthing centre something you can think of? Having a midwife present, with the option of going to hospital if need be? I'm no doctor, but unless there are any major factors effecting you (i can't see your age being a huge issue - a good friend of mine had a midwife birth at the age of 41), i can't see you opting for something unassisted being a problem. Just be prepared for a majority of doctors not being so supportive :\

As for me, i've been supplementing my usual multivitamin regime with folic acid for the past 3 months, i've stopped drinking, haven't smoked cigarettes for ages and am back into exercise again (after being unable to for 6 weeks). I've been eating healthily for a really long time, so am only adding in more specific foods recommended for preconception. Now all we do is practice :D I've booked in with a doctor we think will be suitable to take me/us through a potential pregnancy, i'm now looking into birthing options. My husband is really excited too - he's researching and being really present - It's all a bit exciting! <3
Click to expand...

I'm so excited for you! :) You're going to be a great mother <3

vox, so excited for you too!
 
Perpetual Indulgence said:
I have yet to go next door and see Kaden who is almost a month old. My husband asked me to today to make an effort to go visit as it is the right thing to do. I get that but I feel forced to something I don't have a desire to do. The kid is not going anywhere for the next 18 years. I am not a children person. I work pediatrics...that is enough for me. She knows that.

The mother and I are friendly. I like her. We used work-out together occasionally and see each other more when it is BBQ/beer season. She is not someone I call otherwise.

I figure if it is important to her to visit, she could text me and say come on over.
If she offended, then fuck her. We are adults, convey your feelings. I am not going to assume to know what you want.

What do you think?
Click to expand...

I think you have every right to feel what you are feeling and to do what you are doing. I especially like "If she is offended, then fuck her. We are adults, convey your feelings" I wholeheartedly agree!
 
I totally understand why people might have an explicit desire not to see my children lol. I'm not even really that interested in anyone else's kids except my own. :D

Hey man, if you've chosen not to have kids then you're entitled to the privileges of such a decision IMO.
 
fwiw, i pretty much can't stand babies. i mean, i had never even really held a newborn until i had my own. like damien, i don't really care about kids unless it's my own. they're ok i guess, but i could think of about 1,000 different things that i'd rather do than go to some other person's one year old birthday party. i do absolutely love hanging out with chicken scratch junior though. he's hysterical, to me at least.
 
i really appreciated hearing about your experience, Lacey... and, despite how hellish the intervening staff was, i really like a good birthing story. :) many compliments to you for sticking to your guns.

the doctor that delivered, was she your regular OB/GYN? or the same doc that performed your prenatal exams? i'd think that if you selected your doctor before going into labor and made he or she aware of your insistence to deliver naturally, there’d be less opposition maybe...?
 
^ that is so sweet. <3 :)

re your first post: very interesting. thank you for clarifying. i wondered if many times docs play along during the prenatal visits to make you think you're going to birth the way you want and then, when it got chaotic during labor, pressure you into doing something you hadn't planned. again, many compliments to you Lacey; you've got some amazing determination to be able to battle the hospital staff while enduring the pain of labor.
 
lacey that makes me so damn clucky to read all of that!! I'm so glad that you've settled in to motherhood so comfortably. But to be honest, I never expected anything less of you :) <3
 
lacey rules the roost <3 you're awesome, girl.

we've finally booked a "4D Ultrasound". there's no medicinal reason for it, just want it for posterity's sake. this friday, i'll get to see the boy's face. 29th week.
 
Lacey, your post made me melt, and made me even more excited! We are in major baby mode now and I can't wait to be a mamma <3

As for breastfed babies, i posted a pic in here of my friends little boy - he was only fed breast milk until he ate solids and he was a perfect specimen of a bouncing baby boy - all milk rolls and squishiness - the nurse apparently said that there should have been a picture of dylan next to the definition of baby health :)

In other baby news, i'm surrounded by newborns at the moment- we just met our good friends' baby girl (she's 2 weeks old) - SO precious and tiny! Another friend just gave birth to a baby girl and ANOTHER friend just gave birth to a big baby boy. He was 10lb8 when he was born! His mum had a really rough time with birth - he was just too big to be born naturally (she is tiny), and he was beginning to be distressed so she had to have an emergency c-section. She then developed an infection, and so after 19 days in hospital, is finally allowed to go home with her 2 boys <3 I can't wait to meet the bub in April! :D
 
Last edited:
Thank you so much for your "long-ass" posts, Lacey! I love the way you write. When I read your posts, I almost feel like I'm sitting in the same room with you.

I've also printed them out, and highlighted parts that I will be reading aloud to my docs. I'm not going to know my delivery doctor either, if I go to Juneau. It's a full day away by boat, or half a day by plane. I won't go there until 2 weeks before my due date. But, having read these posts, I have decided to contact them by phone and e-mail, explaining PRECISELY what I mean by "natural" childbirth. I also have the advantage of being able to say "I had my last baby in a cabin in Nowhere, Alaska, and only her father attended the birth." I KNOW what natural is, because I DID it. Which is something I'll bet none of them can say. But for sure these people are going to know how I feel about birthing before I go in there. I really don't want to get into an arguement while I'm in labor. I can't imagine that I'll have much patience right then.

I feel kinda wussy for not just going ahead with another freebirth. It was a really amazing experience. No pressure, no strangers, totally comfortable in my own home. And the birth itself was completely uncomplicated. No problem at all. I should just trust myself and do it again. It's just that, if anything DID happen to my baby, and I didn't do everything humanly possible to stop it, I'd be shook. Devestated. I worried about this before, though, and everything came out fine.

Worrying sucks.

I know what you mean about nursing -- feeling life literally flowing from you to this tiny creature that is your whole world....it is amazing! I'm excited to get to do that one more time. And DAMN, I could not fathom dragging ass out of bed a couple times every night for bottles, or trying to take fresh formula along wherever you go, or washing all those evil, milk-encrusted rubber nipples, eeewww!

On another topic, do you think it would be okay to do a juice-fast for a couple of days while I'm pregnant? I just feel so heavy and bloated, like I need to flush out my insides, ya know?
 
screenshot20110218at105.png


he had his land and his foot over his face so it was hard to see. luckily he moved around a little.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top