S'okay. I'm pregnant and hormonal and probably being melodramatic.
I really am stressing the whole delivery thing, though. I did it unassisted last time, and it was fine. Wonderful, even. But I've had 2 miscarriages since then, and I'd never had any pregnancy complications before. And I'm 40. It's just a number, but so are the statistics.
I have a friend with a one-year-old that was in surgery for 15 hours to fix (as well a possible) the tendons in her arm that the docs completely ripped out during delivery. She'll never have the full use of that arm. Scares the crap outta me.
I just plain don't want anyone except me and my husband to touch our baby during and immediately after its birth unless there is a complication. I don't need help with a regular, uncomplicated birth. But I'm not too hopeful about finding a doctor that will leave me alone and stfu unless s/he's needed.
I delivered in hospital 20 years ago, and while it was not as disastrous as some stories I've heard, that doctor tried to arrange the birth for his convenience, and because he was such an ass, I ended up having a very painful 5 day labor. Arrogant prick.