the toad
Bluelighter
Well no matter what is, the stuff makes you batshit-crazy it seems. I'm bipolar anyway and was pretty careful with the stuff (in relation to my pcp and ketamine binges), only dosed it three times: one ridiculously high dosage of 105mg rectal, two lower ones around 40mg sublingual. Even after those three doses I am experiencing a prolonged episode of burts of mania, to the dismay of the people around me I suppose. It might just be coincidence, but with ketamine and pcp the mania seems to come with a higher intensity at first, but subsides very evenly. This time it's like I caused some massive up-and-down fluctuations for over a week, it practically destabilized me even more. I have no idea if this could just be attributed to other circumstances, but knowing myself very well this is what I noticed after using. I do have to say that the abuse potential subjectively felt a lot lower than that of pcp btw, that is the fiending habit forming properties.
I recently found out that there seems to be a local (Hamburg, Germany) scene of people abusing the shit out of ketamine. Up until then I had only met single people who enjoyed it independently from one another, but on the weekend I actually met a group of 5 loosely connected people who were heavily into abusing dissociatives, all of them have been treated for schizophrenia at least once in their lives and all of them living extremely unstable lives (irregular sleeping patterns, frequently changing sexual relationships, irregular food intake, poly-drug abuse). From what I was told this "group" stretched out far beyonf those 5 people wth everyone sharing one common interest: Dissociatives. I wonder if this is a common occurence with Ketamine having become so popular...
I always knew and had great sources for ketamine... but never got THAT into it... but shortly after running across mxe I've "found" a shitload of hardcore dissociative users... and become one myself...
I've always liked ketamine but when I found mxe I thought "this is like k but better"... now I'm thinking I like k better...
Mxe seems a lot less predictable than k... which I think I liked at first because it kept things super interesting even when I took it all the time... but after a while it is exhausting and schitzy feeling....
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