Hi all, I'd like to do a full blown trip report of my own MXE experience but I'm not too well versed on how these things ought to be structured and it's been done to death anyway. So I'll just keep it fairly anecdotal.I've had lots of experience of a variety of psychedelics such as microdots, LSD, shrooms etc, initially for the sheer hell of it. Over the years though, I've had some quite profound personal journeys that have led to an inevitable interest in Ethneogenics and the efficacy of DMT and plant-derived psychedelics to that end. I've never tried ketamine - I'm from the original Love Dove generation, so if I'm not tripping I want to be dancing, hugging and loving. K-holing seems interesting, but not what I'm looking for.
Having said that though, sometimes you just want to get on a rollercoaster and have a wild ride. I'd been reading lots about methoxetamine and some of the trips people were having seemed pretty wild with seemingly the full range of effects; upper,downer and triptastic at certain doses. I got myself 500mgs from one of the "big five" UK vendors. Did a dab allergy test which resulted in a pleasantly numb tongue and a fairly benign chem taste.40 minutes later, measured out a 40mg dose insufflated - it didn't even touch the sides, no burn at all, no drip. I felt a definite mild rush ten minutes later, but without any discernible body-load or euphoria as such. Very pleasant and light, rather contented. Some 40 minutes later, newly emboldened by this seemingly benign substance, I boshed another 40mg line and settled down at my PC for a bit of music exploration and some pleasant 3D visuals while I chatted online. It took a while to find tunes that agreed with my mood, I found the IDM variety to hit the spot in the end.
Things got a bit sketchy at some point, any notion of time went out of the window despite my trying to keep track of it - 10 minutes felt like hours, or maybe the other way around. Music appreciation was of the total immersion variety, but I didn't feel about it as I might on MDMA, it wasn't in any way pushing the high as such. The best adjectives for how I felt physically would be fresh, bright and breezy . Things got very weird when I started to feel like Pilot in control of Moya on that show Farscape, like my PC had become an interstellar flight control console, wet-wired to my brain, which is just as well because I simply could not type properly, and words on the screen began to look like alien demotic script. The world began to take on a distinctly fluid, pixelated look - PC images became vastly, maybe infinitely overlaid and imbedded, all things conveyed via it were meant for me personally, all of them intended to tell me that I had finally joined the collective, that they had been waiting for me to wake up, that the technological revolution had started and I was just in time to be included in what would be a world changing paradigm shift in the nature our species. Awesome stuff.
The odd thing about all this is that besides the highly exotic perceptions I didn't feel in the slightest bit physically intoxicated, not that I'd forgotten I'd taken a chem, but that it just wasn't very detectable. I felt completely normal (pupils looked normal too), aside from the slightest tickly sensation nibbling at the edges, some mild sweating and a sense that my feet and hands were colder than they ought to be. I can only guess that maybe 2 hours had passed. I decided to measure out a third 30mg line, then I hid the bag in my bookcase - this stuff was too easy to do and I had the distinct nagging impression that I might lose any sense of self control, end up doing coke-sized lines and find myself waking up to the sound of a flat-line and frantic CPR. Shortly after, no idea how shortly but at a guess probably 20 minutes, the world tilted and twisted alarmingly, I'd left my clumsy ape body lying on the floor and was dispassionately puzzling over what it was I was looking at. Whatever it was, it looked inept, badly made, ugly and brutish. What was it's purpose, some kind of vehicle? Why was it rolling around flapping it's awful fleshy appendages and making that mewling sound? Total disassociation ensued and I was fully hyperspace bound and with absolutely no control over the choice of destination.
Again, don't know the duration of this state, but I became aware of my wife coming home with the dog. I had certainly tried to calculate things before I'd started dosing, so that I had plenty of time to straighten up at least a little before she did, so clearly there were 3 hours unaccounted for. Not a complete blank though, I remember being aware of enormous amounts of deja vu about literally every conceivable action or event that happened however large or small, as though my mind was aware of being simultaneously in a virtually infinite number of realities, most of them identical in cause and effect, save for tiny variations, which I reasoned accounted for their existence in the first place. I found this very distressing, it was a revelation that shook me to the core.
My dog raced towards my stricken body, which was reaching out to hug him and this had a talisman-like effect, causing me to return to my body with a sort of pop. My wife loomed over me (and proceeded to do that very thing millions of times in a second) and began to ask if I was okay, though actually I could not understand her, what I heard instead was "ballah, ballah, ballah" repeated over and over in an infinite echo. She later said that I told her I was going to say 6 phrases that would require her response, and that each would help me to return to a single reality, instead of being conscious of all those others. She later said that I asked her "am I dead?", "what's my name?, "do I love you?", the others she couldn't recall but said they were pretty out there random and scared the shit out of her - but she remained calm as ice, bless her. It seemed that on the 6th, and as I'd told her would happen, my consciousness broke free from awareness of all those other realities and I began to act more normally, less stricken. What happened next is a very weird, very blissful period of talking, the tv buzzing in the background and my telling her that I had discovered the truth of our nature, what awaited us when we returned to the source of all things, the oneness, how our sense of self would become nothing but unwanted baggage we'd be more than willing to cast aside when the time came. She asked me "will it be like heaven, will I still be me?" and I apparently assured her that it would be nothing like heaven, but far, far more splendid, that she would be all things, that she and I and all the people we'd ever known, that we and every atom of the universe were God. Apparently I warned her that she would need to give up her sense of self when that time came, or risk delaying. All of this was supported by a very zen-like body and mind state that I've rarely ever felt on other drugs. Really very lovely indeed.
Of course, all of this accords with previous psychedelic experiences of a spiritual kind that I've had, and which led me to become interested in transcendentalism, meditation etc. So it's no surprise at all that my trip took me in that direction. But I wasn't expecting MXE to get me there quite so outrageously at 120mg.
I continued to experiment with my half gram over the course of the week and at different doses, had some far less powerful experiences, certainly managed the zen-like physical and mental state a couple of times at around 80mg split in two or three doses, but never a trip as amazingly vivid again, far more gentle and without the same off the scale disassociative effect. Come down was virtually a non-issue throughout that time. However I did note that I was rather manic, full to brimming with thought chains and the need to read things and share ideas, which was immensely pleasurable though slightly disconcerting given that this manic feeling was usually associated with an elevated pulse rate and a slight awareness of a sort of minor swelling in my skin, as though I was full of some lovely helium-like learning gas. Awesome, but a little scary too. During all of this I was getting very little sleep, maybe 4 hours a day or so, and even then I needed a few joints to get me settled. But at no time did I feel unwell on a come down, on the contrary I felt great.
Sorry this is so long. A final word to end on is that my tolerance went through the roof over that week, so that my last few doses were 60mg before feeling anything of any note. Slight mania throughout that didn't really completely disappear until I was clear of MXE for 3 or 4 days. A very interesting and exotic compound in my experience. Not one that I plan to re-visit any time soon, but a real pleasure to experience, something I won't forget. And that's the point isn't it?
Thanks for listening all,
Peace.