Turn the eye within the eye
My plan is to find a effective long lasting ROA comparable to IM without the sore muscles and bruising. Me being a IM user all day and seeing down sides to it i want to find a better ROA for depression, anxiety, mindset, etc. seeing as how this affects people differently.
Thanks beardface for the Idea of DMSO... Im assuming the gel would take longer to absorb? If anyone else has any ideas for making transdermal Patches of this please chime in... I will try to do more research on it but life has become very busy. And im not the brightest bulb. Any help will be greatly appreciated
I doubt a DMSO transdermal ROA would work better than any of the other more standard routes, including oral. I tried IM a few times, but after trying rectal and finding it's almost indiscernible from IM I haven't bothered again with IM. The only difference is a slightly longer onset time, but the potency is almost the same (far superior to any other route not requiring a needle).
Methoxetamine open-eye visuals
I had an amazing time on MXE recently. It was the first time I really devoted a lot of focus to the trip (no music, no film, just me in my bed in the dark seeing where I could go with a little of my own mental effort). I've been practicing entering hynagogic states (the hallucinogenic state between sleep and waking) by setting an early alarm, eating breakfast, then going back to bed (it helps to be awake for awhile before going back to bed if you want to evoke the state for longer periods of time). I applied the same effort to stay aware while entering a sleep-like trance to MXE as I do to hypnagogic states, and just listened. I then began to hear brief snippets of sentences from random voices and see flashes of imagery (a common example of this is hearing your name called when no one called you as you drift to sleep, but if you practice you'll start hearing a lot more). At first it was chaotic, but then I finally recognized "turn the eye within the eye." This was accompanied by a vision of a cross-sectional diagram-like image of an eye, within which was inset another, smaller, eye.
The inner eye turned around 180 degrees so that its pupil looked directly into the retina of the larger eye. At this point I realized my right eye had popped opened involuntarily and was staring at the surface of a pillow a few centimeters in front of it. In the darkness the surface of the pillow began to crawl with patterns of shadow and light, and the voices I has heard earlier returned, making ever-faster and louder rhythmic chants of non-sense words (yigga yaga ga ga, yigga yaga ga ga!...). The configurations of light quickly dilated into extraordinarily realistic hallucinations in the right periphery of my vision (pretty much the entire space of the right half of my vision outside of the focal point was a projection screen for the visions). Among other things, I saw photo-realistic scenes of streets bustling with crowds of shadowy figures. The continuity was like nothing else I've experienced with open eyes, as I could very deliberately choose to attend to a single figure within the crowd at random and track their path through it, all while they maintained a steady form and cadence. Later, I looked at the hair on my arm and saw more hair grow, then retract into individual pores, then grow again, fall out and flow in a stream. I did this four or five times because it was the vision I found I had the most conscious control over (as I'm sure many of you are, I'm motivated by a silly ambition to consciously control my own waking perception). These visions were of the character of the often reported dissociative "mind movies" -- where the experiencer closes their eyes and the hallucinogenic scenes are as vivid as if they were playing out with eyes open -- but these visions occurred with eyes open and often incorporated features of the environment into the hallucinations (more like what you hear with deliriants, but accompanied by much greater cognitive lucidity).
I've used psychedelics and dissociatives for 13 years (methoxetamine for six months) and I've never seen open eye visuals with such a sense of material presence and independent continuity. I certainly never noticed open-eye visuals from methoxetamine before. I got up and returned to my bed a number of times over a few hours in disbelief at the clarity of what I was seeing, always expecting that I wouldn't be able to evoke the same phenomena again, or that I had dreamed it. But it kept coming back in one form or another.
After experimenting with different environments, I concluded that what's best for the visions is a dark and nearby surface to be projected on (like the side of a pillow a few centimeters away from the eye or the skin on the wrists held close to the face). If I closed my eyes or turned on the lights, they'd disappear. Initiating the visions always involved deliberate effort in attending to how my eyes were focused. It reminded me slightly of what you need to do to make those 3D "Magic Eye" images appear -- that is, unfocus to bring a deeper vision into focus. In my case, I had to look in one direction but shift my attention to the periphery of my visual window without moving my eyes. Metaphorically speaking, I had to "turn the eye within the eye".
The periphery of our vision is largely filled in by our brains because the density of photorectors in the periphery of the retina is far more diffuse than towards the center or in the focal point. I believe that's why I saw the visions in that part of the visual window. Further, a dark and undetailed surface simply contains less perceptual information to compete and cause interference with subconscious projections (imagine trying to watch a drive-in film during the day), and that's why those conditions were best for the projections. However, if that's all there is to it I don't know why I couldn't see these visions with eyes closed. I suspect it had to do with hearing the auditory hallucination "turn the eye within the eye" right before I saw the first open-eye vision. I think whatever part of my subconscious was making these visions for me wanted my conscious ego to know that it knew exactly what it was doing (which is so fascinating -- and slightly scary -- to me).
I'm very excited to try again.
Edit: Dose was 50 mg rectal followed by 20 mg rectal an 1.5 hours later