We are projecting machines. We project onto the world what we have in ourselves. Then energy we feel from without actually originates from within. The energy that is focused by MXE is that same libidinal energy that comes in waves, here and there, bursting forth as orgasm: as discursive projection. The same energy that brought us into the world now brings to the world our mental creations.
Close your eyes and there is no anxiety. This raw, undifferentiated creative force waxes and wanes, sloshes and stirs, excites and relaxes. Open your eyes and you wash up on the shore of projective ecstasy: wherever your mind is now, the universe seems to have been waiting for you there. Of course the universe is in actuality indifferent, but you are different. There you are, and there she is, and the two have met and are one for a moment.
It was just for a moment, mind you. Orgasm, no matter how stretched out, finally fades to anxiety, impatience, frustration, confusion. But what is this frustration? You want to do more MXE. You want to go there again. You want to sustain the unsustainable. Even more than this, you don't want to look at this fear and pain, right here, right now. More than anything, you wish to escape this moment. You wish to sleep, or to distract yourself, or to get high again.
Though it pains you so, the life force is not deficient. The understanding of life is deficient. Look at this pain that you wish to escape. Make friends with your frustration. Freedom awaits.