Vortech - I sent you a PM. You're more than welcome to use any and all information, crazy rants, ridiculous freestyles - whatever you would like from my BL Posts regarding MXE. I think we both have come to realize over the years that this compound - while it starts out very innocent and beautiful, no withdrawals - instead you get a wonderful afterglow - It just like any other drug has a significantly detrimental downside to it when not respected, and when doses aren't spaced out. Daily use catches up with you quick, quicker than you realize because MXE complications creep up on you very slowly.
Since it seems like after high dose regular use, MXE can stay in your system for anywhere from 1-3 weeks or more even in my experience..........Which means, sure you may still feel great or at least good, benefiting from the medicinal effects for the first week or 2 after discontinuing using - but the problem I've noticed is - Sometimes it can take me 2-3 WEEKS until I feel FULLY back at baseline - see the chart listed above which i feel is very very accurate for dissociative use in general - It takes SO long to get back to baseline which I've noticed has been creating this problem for me.............It's very rare for me to take more than 2 weeks off from my MXE use - so the decisions that I'm making to purchase more MXE, or to start using MXE again and starting another cycle of use by dipping into my stash - These IMPORTANT decisions are being made while I'm STILL somewhat to extremely under the influence of the drug, without FULLY realizing it.
Another observation - When you use MXE daily, you get used to even the most intense dissociative aspects of the drug - just like how when you first start smoking weed again after a long break, it's damn near psychedelic or TOO intense at first, but after a week or so of daily use - no matter how far out into space or stoned you are, it just becomes normal - it becomes the headspace that your brain gets used to being in. I've gone to work many many many times on 100mgs+ of MXE and it just seemed like a normal day. This drug is very easy to get acclimated to using daily.
This is the way I compare the effects of Ketamine vs MXE. To me - Ketamine has a much more dopey feel to it, you aren't as inclined to be super active on higher doses compared to MXE because it's not really possible because the closer you get to a K-Hole, the more couch lock it seems like people tend to experience - thus, when I do Ketamine, I pretty much only do it at home, usually by myself, and I repeatedly dose again and again until the bag is gone. My focus with Ketamine is more about the drug and the high I get from the drug itself which is why I personally call Ketamine psychedelic Heroin. My behavior on Ketamine is very similar to when I was a Heroin Addict.
MXE on the other hand serves a completely different purpose in my life, or at least it used to. When I do K - I always want to go K-Hole exploring and I almost always stay home. When I do MXE - sometimes I just want to get fucked up on the drug - other times I use the drug to make myself be more social, and just more active in general. The manic episodes I get from MXE really help my Bi-Polar disorder because I tend to be WAY more on the depressive end of the spectrum than the manic end - so I appreciate the energy and inspiration that MXE gives me. I take MXE every time I go out to the Bar so that I'm more likely to be calm and social if people start talking to me randomly, which can sometimes make me very uncomfortable because I don't drink Alcohol, I don't have very much in common with the average person where I live, and random drunk people can get fucking annoying. The reason that I mention these parallels between the way I use Ketamine and the way I use MXE is this..............To me Ketamine = Psychedelic Heroin while MXE = Dissociative Methamphetamine or Speed. Another reason that I mentioned this are because the Withdrawals from MXE resemble BOTH Opiates AND Strong Amphetamines.
MXE withdrawals contain some aspects of Opiate W/D's - like when I wake up in the morning, I have TERRIBLE chills, I literally wake up and put a hoodie on first thing to combat the cold feeling, I also experience increased anxiety, need for benzo's, irritable bowels, occasional vomiting, and sometimes Insomnia for a few days. I also notice withdrawals that I've gotten from Methamphetamine / Amphetamine use - like feeling absolutely exhausted for multiple days, increased depression, crying or being overly emotional for NO reason whatsoever. I barely have the energy to get out of bed and make myself food, I have a huge appetite, but don't really have the stomach to eat much, and occasionally I just feel super uncomfortable in my own skin after a bender. My long term AND short term memory are both absolute garbage. I can't remember more than 1-2 weeks at a time - and a lot of the time in order for me to actually remember things, it takes something to spark the memory - usually someone saying to me "Hey, remember the other day when....." - otherwise, it's very hard for me to dig into my memories, unless I'm on MXE - then I have full access to memories from my entire life all the way back to childhood - it makes me VERY nostalgic.
When I first started using MXE - I viewed it as a more potent version of Ketamine and not much more. Now when I think of MXE - I think of either PCP, or a mixture of Ketamine and Amphetamine. It also still will give you Bladder Issues if you abuse it like I have. I frequently experience that strained urethra feeling that other BL'ers have mentioned. I got a full blown Bladder Infection that I almost went to the Emergency Room for because my lower right side to lower center of my stomach hurt so bad that I couldn't get out of bed for 2 days straight.
As much as I love Methoxetamine and I want to be able to tell people it's a semi harmless, beautiful compound that can truly lead to amazing self discovery - Which it absolutely possesses those wonderful qualities..............MXE is a very 2 faced drug and can turn from being harmless fun - into an addiction before you even realize what's happening fully. MXE can either be one of the most beautiful compounds - an experience as important to me as the first time I took LSD or smoked DMT - IF you have self control - or it can easily become a hard drug that can fuck up your life, like opiates or speed, if you have an addictive personality or just really like the psychedelic mind state. I'm a naturally introspective, loner of a person - so MXE has become basically the perfect drug to me. I would pick it hands down over almost any other drug you could offer to me - straight up.
I feel like at LEAST 30 days of abstinence is needed to TRULY be able to make fully rational choices that are in no way influenced by your previous MXE use. I hope this statement makes sense to people, because I feel it's pretty damn important to realize precisely how long you are intoxicated by some quality MXE. It lasts WAY fucking longer than most people realize, or information about it states. Wikipedia lists the organic half life as 3-6 hours.............Exactly my point. A LOT of the information about MXE that doesn't come DIRECTLY from a regular user of MXE is not fully informed. Realistically, even after 5 years - we're still learning daily as a collective consciousness about the benefits and downsides of this drug.
The craziest thing to me is......................Even after every precautionary, straightforward 100% honest statement that I just made about this drug - both Positive and Negative - If given the chance to go back 5 years and make a different decision - I would still do things the same, I'd just change some of those 5-20 Gram orders into 1-2 gram orders. Hopefully this information makes sense and helps inform someone. I did smoke a few 50mgs MXE blunts tonight, so my apologies if some of this post is a bit hard to understand. Stay Safe Dissco Heads - Mr. Meowfish
