The biggest beauty of this to me is that I was able to function reasonably well and could enjoy a positive trip with enough connection to the universe and it's mysteries and not go too far into heavy self analysis.
This was a soul affirming time that let me look back behind the veil of existence without the over critical thought processes and that introspection to a fault that heavy tripping on serotonin agonists can sometimes give.
I was clear headed in train of thought, things were more mentally open though for sure, all the while still having the dissociative movement mannerisms to a milder degree, that sneaky feeling of being off in another dimension to a degree and at the same time as being present in this dimension physically. Does anyone else know that secret you and the guy in the mirror share when you smile at each other? That feeling and the golden electricity of the buzz.
Similar notes as some of the stimulation of diphenidine but not the buzz, buzz for this is not quite the energy and forcefulness of amphetamine, not a tradional heart racing stimulation, but there is an underlying electrical current that charges you yet sets you back in yourself comfortably.
The electric energy is not like acid where you are jolted with liquid lightning and everything is vibrant but instead is like you have a current flowing through you and you can feel the charge.
I need to step away from the electric avenue and discuss other aspects I guess, hahaha, time is slowed down and every moment is given a uniqueness, I feel that feeling of almost having a purpose for existing in doing most every task, interactions with others are so meaningful and then shaving my beard just seemed to be good self care. Things felt right, perhaps the stars figuratively align, if you will.
I don't remember my lower dose trials of this(10-30 mg) having as much positive impact on my mental state. I don't feel like on ketamine with the hole state but instead feel in my own world of self debauchery in the most positive sense of the word hahaha.
I am currently on 40 mg dosed the same time as the day befores dose of 75 mg and I am in much the same mood. I would love to be able to put this feeling on paper.