So I gave 4-Ho-MET another shot last night. And actually all I can say is wow!
I dosed 43mgs orally. I hadn't taken any psychedelic for at lead over a week.
I was blown away. My step daughter who is 17, wanted to take a night ride in the golf cart. This is quite normal in my neighborhood. We live in a safe community, and after the golfers are gone for the day. A lot of kids take golf carts and cruise the neighborhood. (Yes there are some who are assholes and causing problems {juvenile delinquents lol}, but my step daughter is responsible, so I felt totally safe riding on the golf cart with her)
Of course she had no idea I was tripping. We started the ride about 8, sunset was about to take place. I had my sun glasses on. And something about those sunglasses made everything 100 X more colorful and amazing. I'm convinced they are made for 4-ho-met!
I wasn't to impressed the first time I tried this. But last night, was blown away. My step daughter was playing her music on the BeatsPill. Damn, that thing is loud. She was playing songs I never heard because I guess I am not into all the cool new music these young kids listen too.. (They think I am older than dirt, even tho I just turned 35)
Every song, even tho I don't normally like this kind of music the kids these days listen to, the music was *perfect* for this night. It had a psychedelic sound to, and I couldn't get enough. And was amazing! She even played the weirdest song, I never heard it before but they artist was singing "I'm in Love the Coco" and at one part I heard singer say "BAking sOda..!.!." I laughed so hard, because i am assume the singer was talking about making crack! It was hilarious to me. My step daughter didn't really get my laughter about that part. Thank goodness, Right? It probably wouldn't be a good thing if she knew that he sang those words because of his love for Cocaine and guess he was planning on making crack later!! It made me laugh hard. And I haven't laughed like that in a really really long time. So i needed it. All that laughing felt like a release of all the stress, sadness, worry, anxiety, and this impending doom, that I have been experiencing for a while now. It was refreshing. And this morning I feel a sense of peace, joy, and love.
It was hilarious to me. But the music every song she played had this psychedelic component to it. I do however plan to listen to these songs later and see if it was just the drugs making it a million times more awesome
I told my step daughter, I just wanted to hang with her and not stop at every golf cart we passed to say hello. Because most of the people on the carts are teenagers, and she knows them all, and I was trying to see that damn sunset, no time to stop and talk to teens!! .
So we went to an area that was higher up, to watch the sunset. I was blown away. I knew that she could not see the brightness in the sparkles that I saw but I was blown away.
As the sunset was going down there was puffy clouds, that were beyond anything I could describe. The sun was red going down. She put on some of her music, and the song she played had an Arabian nights tune to it. And it felt magical. The sound of that music, felt I was literally flying on a magical flying carpet. Over a landscape of 10 shades pinks, neon red, 10 shades of purples, oranges, sparkles. I truly felt something magical. It was beautiful.
It was amazing. As it got darker, and I could still see the clouds, as the sun completely had gone down the cloud with now why with a dark mysterious blue color sky. I suppose from the full moon. And it was just spectacular.
There was no mind fuckery, which I welcomed. I was with my step daughter. And didn't need have deep feelings in my mind about anything that makes me think to hard or get weird. I just felt free, happy, and magical I was truly enjoying myself. Until she took a really sharp FAST turn I was NOT prepared for and I flew off the side of the golf cart, luckily i didn't hit concrete or anything, I was just thrown onto the golf course grass, and was fine, we laughed about that too.
Please don't judge guys, I am very comfortable with 4subs and at no point my step daughter knew I was tripping or was she in danger. Even tho I so wanted to keep saying "omg, look! Look at the sky it is like a rainbow" But I didn't say it. As I knew she wasn't seeing the spectacular colors I was. I had to wear my sunglasses even at night due to the flashes of light and sparkles everywhere. I just sat back and enjoyed.
There is no way I could of enjoyed this on 4-aco-dmt. Because being in the woods, night time, I would have begun to get scared. Due to the alien or presence that seems to always let me know it is there, and lately that presence seems to dislike me or want to punish me, or scare me. I am not sure what it wants or if it is even real, or I am just paranoid from a particular negative 4-Aco experience a while back.
Now my first psych was shrooms(a while back) this was before ever experiencing with any 4sub or RC. back then presence was friendly and seemed funny and present.
Now that presence has become a little dark, and maybe irritated with me, and wants to scare the shit out of me at times. Or at least wants me to notice it, and know it's there...
It's been totally different with 4-HO-MET. Omg I never realized the true beauty in this RC. I was blown away. It made me remember how this earth is beautiful, no matter what eyes you are seeing it with. And kids (even at 17 want to bond with an parent, rather that is their step parent or whatever)
My step daughter has an estranged relationship with her mother, due to the fact after the 5th marriage, her mothers husband didn't seem to like her children around. The mother was so "love struck" I suppose that she had no problem giving us the kids full time (but still felt she was entitled to the $3200 in child support monthly - even tho the kids have been living with us for as long as I ca remember. So we have paid for everything for them. And never once ask her to reimburse.
She is a little narcissistic or sociopathic,
I don't know nor do I car. To take her to court so that my husband is the legal custodial parent, so we wouldn't have to pay $3200 to this lazy woman who doesn't work, just lives off should support of children she never sees, didn't feel worth it. The kids don't need to be in a weird custody battle, not because "mom" wants to be with her children, but so that she gets money, those kids don't need to know that. The kids are with us full time and don't have to live with a mom, who's new husband doesn't want them around and treated them like they were a pain in the his lazy ass)
So since this kid was 9. I have been in her life, and loved her. I have never tried to replace her mom, as she has a mother. I have only tried to be there was for supportively and help her out when she needed me. She doesn't much need me anymore from us, now that she drives, has a car and has turned out to be one of the smartest, kindest and most responsible kids I know. (I know at 17, my parents couldn't say that about me, I was kinda of a brat side, constantly breaking the rules). Anyways, so got off topic (my ADD ass does that)
4-Ho-met lacked the mind fuckery, but it was introspective more this time. Not in a 4-aco-dmt way. Less intense mentally, but sometimes I welcome a trip that I can feel truly happy with euphoria on without the feeling that "Something is WRoNG, and I have to figure out what it is!!"
I am so incredibly grateful for time i had with her and realized that I have avoided getting to for emotionally close to this beautiful child, because I was afraid of being attacked (emotionally and mentally) by the mother, who wants nothing to do with HER kids, but wants me to have nothing to do with "her" kids as well.. (God forbid I give them attn and they grow to love me and she looks like a douche bag parent) So this bonding really touched my heart and soul.
Anyways....
The new hip hop music my 17 year old was playing Def made the experience that much better, like I said it had a Arabian nights sound to it. And I felt I was on a magic carpet flying over the most beautiful world I had even seen.
Alright I am going to rap this up, sorry it is so long. Just a lot of Positive emotions, that even today I feel good about.
Ok.. So toward the end of our ride, Around 10 she was tired so we headed home. I told her I had so much fun, and enjoyed our time together, and for her to go on inside and I would put the cart up.
It was very dark outside, and all the sudden there it was!!
It crept on me slowly... A strange familiar fear. I didn't sense the presence yet, just a strange fear
Why it came? I don't know. Because my mind set was on cloud 9
But i decided to go inside, afraid to go back out in the dark, but I said fuck it, I am going outside and facing this ridiculous fear.
But it was all good. I faced the dark, and I said when I was out there alone, " fuck off weirdo, your presence is just annoying now, let me be! - I got shit to do, before bed so don't start with me now. Of course it didn't give a fuck and was still lingering close behind. But it didn't bother me. I ignored it. m
I was quite surprised at 12:30AM I was still wide awake (and eating like I was starving)
I am just so thankful for the amazing experience I had on the this substance. I don't know if it was solely the 4-HO-MET that made it so great because of the colors, diamonds and Aladdin like magical flying carpet experience. Or the music was a big contributing factor.
But I truly believe it was the bonding I had with my step daughter. She is a great kid. I didn't say much on the ride because I was loving her music choice and because I didn't want her to be like what are you on? But I dont think she would know about that stuff anyways. The night was amazing. We laughed so hard, my cheeks were hurting. And my stomach was cramping because the nom stop laughter. It was an adventure for sure.
Anyways thanks for reading guys. And again please don't judge me for being on this substance around a kid. She is 17. Was driving the cart and we were ok. The music she was playing really brought out the amazingness of entire night. Wow ☆☆☆
