so it goes like this.
The first flashback was maybe a week and a half ago, came randomly in the middle of the day, was strong but nowhere near the level of this one. It ended with me passing out at 1 in the after noon and waking up a few hours later feeling high.
This one came when I was on a 12 mg of 4-aco-mipt (this was maybe my sixth trip since the 2c-p 17 mg experience a month and a half ago). Things are fine for the first 3 hours, then it all came on out of nowhere. I can tell something is about to happen. I look up at my ceiling, which happens to be a popcorn ceiling (for those who dont these are amazing for seeing visuals). The ceiling splits open.
If you have read my report from the 2c-p incident you may remember the following line. The bolded text is what I then called what I will in this report be referring to as “the thing” (as you will see there was 3 of these things then, there was only one for my flashback) .
“
At a certain point during this time one of the last major peaks came and the visuals again changed their game, my roof slid open, and not entities, but certainly the foundation of what would be an out of body experience took hold. The beams of light began to create multidimensional
geometric figures again different to the kaleidoscopes, which were also still present, in my ceiling. Three of these things, each side by side and connected loosely by the beams of light take over my entire field of vision.
"
This time only One of the things falls out of the roof. Behind him there is a giant kaleidoscope, which I have learned the technical term for is a "
form constant ". Where ever I look at he jumps at me all across the ceiling, but really this is inaccurate. He is on my retina, so where ever I move my eye, he follows, and he seems to be made of the beams of light that also compose the form-constant, this giant kaleidoscope that forms into infinity behind it, the form constant getting bigger and more detailed the longer I watch, as it is impossible not to watch.
The scene that unveils is amazing (despite how unwanted). I am given a clearer view of what is going on on when 2c-p dos what it does. The thing appears to be conducting some grand psychedelic kaleidoscopic light show. One side of my vision I see this giant thing, not the dmt "elves" or whatever but one singular beast with its arms made out of beams of light that out strech transforming and composing and creating the form constant on my eyes.
It also has to be noted this was a full body reaction. As it came on my pulse sky rocketed and I began sweating profusely. Skin got very pale and I was taken back into the 2c-p head space. I could feel surges of something rushing in my brain.
The main part lasted 40-50 minutes, was on within 5 minutes, peaked by 30, then felt extremely altered for another 30 minutes after that. Really though it seemed to last maybe 10 minutes altogether? It was over before I knew it but judging from when I first made a note that something unusual was happening to when I made the note that I was coming out of the flashback (and I was still feeling really out of it when I made that note) was 50 minutes, really seemed like no more then 10 though. Who knows, I could have passed out.
After I made the “I'm coming out” note the thing and the form constant were still forming, but by watching tv and avoiding my ceiling at all costs I could ignore it. It did linger though, and I continued tripping on what felt like a really low dose of 2c-p for the rest of the night. Also had a hell of head ache and felt very sleeping immediately coming out of it, but then stimulated for the rest of the night. The characteristic 2c-p extreme whole vision-after image that stays for up to 20 seconds while others are forming and getting after imaged on top of it (this can very disorientating if you have 5 perfect pictures of your room all mashed together and over laying on top of one each other like still photos, complete images that seem to be “stuck” on your eye that will remain on it even after you have decided to look at something else). The excess stimulation kept me going into the morning, sleep was hard to reach, no closed eye visuals but I could feel the form constant still forming on my eyes, very distracting, but I eventually passed out.
I just dont know what to think. Before the incidents of these past few weeks I never believed in flashbacks. I was convinced stories of HPPD and flashbacks were scare tactics and over active imagination or even misinterpreting HPPD. But I am here to tell you this flashback, just like the 2c-p experience, is making me reconsider my entire drug use.
At this point, I feel stupid for listening to people who were obviously either taking impure product, grossly over estimating unweighed doses, or lying for whatever reasons, to dick size or something on the internet, I just dont know why, but saying they took doses that are obviously dangerous while saying they were fine. There is so much dangerous uneducated information on other drug forums out there, and its so easy to pick and choose exactly want you want to here if your like myself... A very dangerous combination.
At this point, Im going to take a very, very long break from phenethylamines. Right now at least a few months. In the past I could east 5-7 grams of mushrooms, every weekend, with no signs of problems what soever. As soon as I added 2c-i into the mix, hppd came along. Same with 2c-e and 2c-t-2. Idk next time I will trip, might not be for a few weeks. Will be taking it very slow when I do return, and just tryptamines. If I ever go back to phenethylamines it will be a very slow process. Never more then a few times a year. The evidence, as it currently appears to me, is that on the whole psychedelic PEA's are much worse in all toxic aspects then trptamines.
Sorry to type this all up, but like I say I do it for me, cause I got to get this off my mind. I do hope it serves as a warning though, please dont be like me. You do not want to wonder if your going to see “the thing” at random for the rest of your life. You dont want to wonder what damage you did to yourself seeking an enlightenment that I was tricking myself into thinking existed so as to justify my gross misuse of psychedelics. One more time: I do not blame phenethylamines at all for my misuse of them. It is my fault, I realize I have to pay for the consequences of my actions. I just have to get it out in writing, because then it doesnt seem to bother me as much any more. Psychedelics are such a beautiful thing, you just absolutely can not mistreat them, and its a shame people like myself trick themselves into learning this the hard way
