Tell a shit joke

[F.U.B.A.R.]

What did the French customs officer say when he found a drug testing kit in Shambles' girlfriend's luggage?

"Sacrebleu! Le Marquis De Sadie..."

 

[Don Luigi]

What did St.Patrick say when he was driving the snakes out of Ireland?

Are you alright in the back there, lads?

I'm sorry, I know it's been done to death but I hear it at least five times a week and it has grown on me.

 

[Sprout]

My cock was actually in the Guinness Book of World Records once.

But it really pissed off the librarian and she kicked me out.

 

[Speed King]

There were two flys on a toilet seat. One got pissed off.

 

[Sprout]

I hate hearing rappers go on about the "West Coast". I've been to Liverpool, it's a shithole!

 

[BecomingJulie]

The lab results are in and they show that a suspected haul of cocaine seized recently at East Midlands Airport turned out to be ..... Cornflour.

A spokesperson for HM Customs said "After we put in all that effort ..... It's thickening!"

 

[Sprout]

"Have I made myself clear?" asked the chameleon as he stood in front of a sheet of glass.

 

[BecomingJulie]

Q. What's the difference between a reflexology massage and a useless drummer?

A. A reflexology massage bucks up the feet .....

 

[Eveleivibe]

I hate hearing rappers go on about the "West Coast". I've been to Liverpool, it's a shithole!

hahahaha lol good that. We Welsh n Liverpoor have history

Evey

 

[Sprout]

is ": !", is ": X", is ": o".
Remove the spaces and take your pick.

 

[strungout2010]

How do you find Will Smith in the snow







Look for the fresh prince !

 

[BigG]

Did you hear about the man who invented knock-knock jokes?

He won the "no-bell" prize....

 

[swanhaggisman]

If you go to a barbecue with Inspector Maigret and Neil Young, what do they cook the food on?

A Simenon Grill.

 

[Vurtual]

Oh i get it; this is performance art and you're the joke? (edit: the target of this post has been modded, but i'll leave it here anyway and apply it as you desire )

 

[strungout2010]

Anybody seen that brand new film constipation ...........................?




Didn't think so ' because it hasn't come out yet.

 

[ddhats]

What do you call a man who does his domestic chores at night with his two pet birds of prey on his shoulders...?

Hawk, kestral man hoovers in the dark.

 

[Don Luigi]

*Politically incorrect alert*

A Chinese man goes to the doctor to have his eyes examined.

''I'm afraid you have a cataract'', the doctor told him.

''No I don't, I have a rincoln continentar'' replies the Chinese man.

 

[bogman]

The Dalai Lama walks into a pizza shop and asks for a Pizza.


Sales assistant: “would you like anything on it sir.



Dalai Lama: “Make me one with all”

 

[bogman]

The Dalai Lama then pays with a fifty,!but gets no money back from the assistant. When the Dalai Lama questions this, the assistant replies "but change comes from within, so fcuk off"

 

[Don Luigi]

Liam Gallagher announced today that he is launching his own brand of canned soup.

When asked why he thinks people will want to buy his soup over more well established favourites, such as Heinz and Campbell's, Mr Gallagher replied, ''You get a roll with it''.