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TDS Social vs. where Darksiders come to play

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^Appartently he wished not. I would talk to you Kaywholed, you seem like a cool guy to me, and I would even hold out on making you buy me a rock or ring. ;) What does she do for fun and how did you two meet? Start out with some stuff you had happen in the past hopefully it will help your future relationship or at least make a present one, lol..:\
 
kaywholed said:
got a roommate,
but we are not social at all.
both sat for hours in the same room and didn't speak at all to each other.
i have tried to get a conversation going, asking her about some art and stuff, and it went no where.

dunno where to start being "friends" with a roommate who is a total stranger?

i don't know if we are both social tards, or if I am the weird one :(
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It takes time to get to know a new roommate. Mine and I are still getting to know one another, we were complete strangers also! The initial awkwardness was broken when I picked up some new (used) furniture for our living room. All 3 of us were born the same week (different years). We have some common ground - not everything, but a good balance. We meet up over a meal every now and again. It's a good balance.

Hope it works out for you. Respecting each other's private time and space is really important, the rest will flow naturally if you are a good fit.
 
yes, she is my only roommate. I mostly have only lived in a house full of people so there isn't the 1v1 social pressure.

I posted an ad online looking for an apt, and she responded to my request. I don't know what she does for fun really. My attempts to get to know her have been shot down with mostly mono-sylabic responses(basically my MO for talking to people I don't know).

Is it acceptable for me to take her out to dinner? I think, it might be a good way to sit down and get to know each other a bit, but I don't know if that would be considered to forward, or to have the gesture misconstrued as some sort of relationship advance.
 
Maybe 'accidentally' make too much to eat for dinner, and invite her to join you instead. That might seem a bit less date-y, and a bit more: "so, we live together, I'd like to know a thing or two about you".

That's what I would do, were I hypothetically in that situation.
 
I'm curious why you use the phrase "shot down with monosyllabic responses" and then say that is usually what you do. Maybe you shouldn't look at it as somehow not responding but instead see that, like you, this might be the most that is comfortable for her at this stage. My brother-in-law is a man of few words and it took me a while to understand that he was not giving me the cold shoulder or shutting me out--it is just the way he is. I have known him now for over 20 years and I know that he is a better listener than most people, that he really considers what he wants to say before he says it and he is very observant--all good qualities that I feel are directly related to how little he talks! Sounds to me that if you don't take it personally that you and your roommate might be able to slowly get into a comfortable rhythm together.

Asking her out to dinner at this point sounds iffy. 1) She might misconstrue it, as you say and 2) it could be even more awkward than being in your house if she doesn't talk. An alternative might be asking if she wants to order in Chinese or something and if she says yes, then you would have the decision about what to order to talk about.

I think the key is mostly what Mariposa said about giving her space and giving it time. Good luck and I am really glad that you found a place.:)
 
I had a horrible day today.

Was about to see a new doctor to get some medication I have been needing desperately for months. years.

I go in there and he asks me what's wrong, I tell him, and he calls my facility,the place that recommended me to him, and shut me down. said goodbye immediately. I don't know what they told him but it was fucked.

I even had to pay for the physical, which my facility was suppose to pay for.

The anger in my cheat is so deep that o want to punch something as hard as I can just to release it. It is building.

*deep breath. *
 
yeah, deep breaths, Sound. Sounds like you need to talk to your facility to clear things up. The doctor definitely pigeon-holed you and I would write a letter telling him why that was unfair and unprofessional to not even communicate with you. My advice is write the first one with all the anger you've got. Then revise it to one that gets your points across but isn't just pure rage. I hope there is someone at your facility that gets how disrespectful that was.
 
I just found out that my brother is gay. I always guessed but I never really jumped to any conclusions. It doesn't change my opinion of him of course, but it's hard not to look at him differently. Not as him being different, but it shines him in a different light than I had ever seen him before because now I understand where a lot of his emotional pain stems from, the fact he had to keep it inside him. I feel bad. It must really suck at his age to have to keep that inside him.

He still hasn't come out to anyone in my family, including me.
 
That's so hard. He's still at home, yes?

Whatever you do, don't out him. Even if it's just you and him talking. He has to do that in his own time. Just let him know that you support him, that you're "on his side". If he knows that you're not judging him, and he's comfortable, he'll tell you when he's ready. And you can answer then that you've known for ages ;)
 
^^yea badfish that is a bit of a perdiciment but daves words are wise...
I'm not feelin all that social but as per usual im stickin my nose in to say hi n hope everyones a bit better than last time.... Total lack of motivation latley, not done jack shit which is exactly what i shouldnt be doing, am surprised in here online. But fuck who could possibly leave bluelight alone for to long:|
 
Wow everyone is having a rough time lately. This proves that SAD's is definitely affecting more people than statistics show.

<3 hugs to everyone, i wish i could lend you all my kitty :)
 
I want a kitty hehe

I'm not in such a great mood either, I wish there was some way of saying sorry and lets just put the bad feelings behind us. Idk, its mostly all my fault..

But how are all you tonight?
 
Be sincere in your apology and you should be fine, try and writeit own first and edit bits that might come across wrong and getvtaken the wrong way?

Grrrr typo. Sorry pain is getting too much now, need to meditate.

Kitteh sends hugs
 
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Lol me too, can't help it. Ok well write it and try and censor yourself so it doesn't sound ott. Feel better soon need to get into a better position which will mean I can't type.

Hope it goes ok
 
I'll just leave things alone right now, if you've exhausted yourself enough then just wait things out and let emotions run their course, then things will get better.
 
Doin nightly rounds, complete swing from this morning when i cbf doin anything... Did have a smasher of a headache and had to get some tramadol, for some reason they seem to pep me up as sell as get rid of my headaches, best make good of the time im feelin kinda ok to be doin something constructive (and yes i consider this as constructive). Really hope my gf comes ova tonite, im in better spirits id just love to be able to squeeze her out a smile as she makes me so happy she just dont understand its a medical condition im dealin with and psycological trauma. I'm a fucking lucky man to have her in my life is all i can say about her... <3 u so much AT... Yup she a bluelighter, not met thru the site i introduced her to it shes probably still a greenlighter actualy not a big poster aout drugs although she can go thru weed like its never ending!! School hols are started here ive a train ride to take friday will be good to get the fuck out of here for a while!!
 
Wow, Bad---that is amazing that your brother has kept that so well hidden--and tragic that he feels he has to. The more out, proud, comfortable gay people we have in this world, the better, so I hope he finds the strength for that soon. Not being out is a terrible hell to live in. Of course being out in High School is another hell so he is stuck between a rock and a hard place. Glad he's a senior (he is, right?).

@S.M.F.G.--all sounds good! A GF that makes you smile, a train ride out of town....now I'm jealous of more than your pool.=D You deserve a lot of happiness.<3
 
I am slightly jealous too. I just fancy waterstones bringing all of their entire stock to my house (yeh I need a bigger house) and just let me relax with all of the information I could positively absorb, keeps me distracted :)

Wish this weather would sod off back to the north pole, I am not a polar bear!!!

Oh and huge mugs of creamy hotchoc made with nesquick milkshake.




herbavore said:
Wow, Bad---that is amazing that your brother has kept that so well hidden--and tragic that he feels he has to. The more out, proud, comfortable gay people we have in this world, the better, so I hope he finds the strength for that soon. Not being out is a terrible hell to live in. Of course being out in High School is another hell so he is stuck between a rock and a hard place. Glad he's a senior (he is, right?).

@S.M.F.G.--all sounds good! A GF that makes you smile, a train ride out of town....now I'm jealous of more than your pool.=D You deserve a lot of happiness.<3
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