Three deaths in a row now, I have had horses come to my attention, in ways I can't miss. My uncles, grandmother's and best friend's father's.
1. First time this occurred was with my uncle. I was playing online free roam in GTA IV. I learned that he died not long before, perhaps while playing the game. Maybe it was a text. The song "Goodbye Horses" came on, and I hadn't heard it since I was little. I let my car in the game roll into a dark, semi-concealed area, away from the action, to listen to this song. Something about it hit on chord, of reflection. Perhaps the "Goodbye" mainly. But it was the first time I really reflected on his death after the fact.
2. A similar event happened with my grandmother, but might be more in depth.
The day of her death I dreamt of horses. I came to a crossroads/intersection in a field with very high grass, and there were two dark furred horses coming from my right-- A big one and a smaller one. Something in me told me I remembered how to make friends with them, and it involved a certain kind of affection, that was basically hugging them. I hugged the lead horse and had a sensation like I could cry. Then they would proceed to go one way, and I another, I imagine. I was heading to some gates ahead, and they to my left. I had just come from/stepped outside of a city, that resembled some place I might see in India/south pacific, and they were also coming from this city.
That following night, after learning of her death that day/morning, I was browsing profiles, on OkCupid, and I think one profile was suggested to me, to begin with, or I was somehow gravitated to her. In her first image I came to upon clicking her link for more photos, I saw her with a horse. I think I had also come to another with horse photos, as well, perhaps also a suggestion or at the beginning, or something. Suddenly, I remembered my dream, in this reflection. I began to cry, after some time, after I had tried to divert emotional energy, into cleaning my bathroom, I think.
After I stopped crying, I decided to go to get water. It was late at night, so traffic was sparse at best. I had to stop at an intersection, and noticed a police cruiser, dark colored, was also at this intersection, coming from my right. Beyond, would be my destination. I forget the order, but I went through and parked in the grocery lot. I parked next to a blacked out car. Rims black as well. Well, technically, I parked next to the carts, and he was on the other side. I shut my car off. Only then did I notice that the last word I heard was "horses", before the car shut off. It was of a song, "We are the dark horses", by the band Switchfoot. I turned it back on, and heard it- this time for the first time.
Inside, I found the owner of the blacked out vehicle. A security guard. We ended up having a prolonged conversation, for just meeting someone. I had never seen him. I am there every night. I asked him if he was new, and he denied, stating that he was there all of the time. "You must work days", I said... And he shook his head no. That's the first and last time I saw him. Young guy. Engaging conversation.
On the way back, stop at the same intersection, and another cop, this time a white cruiser, also to my right.
3. The next death was my friend's father's. The night before his funeral, I found myself staring at the back of a trailer for a good duration home, from a drop point for my job, two hours away. The trailer was "Dark Horse" Carriers, or something, and had a big black horse logo on the back. I spent the majority of my time behind this vehicle on the way home, relative to any others, which were few to none.
1. I don't remember any numbers like normal, but my uncle was born on 1/5, and died on 5/1, and I thought that that was something. His favorite poem, which he had on a bookmark that he used in his bible, had something that read like "i see the pattern from the underside, while he sees it from above", which in some way also related to the dates of his birth and death, being mirror images, in some sense, or (at least to me, but some can get really anal and get all sciencey on a spirituality forum).
2. I had two girls message me about 23 within hours of my grandmother's death. I had posted something days previously, about 23, and they came to me, and both either had it obviously, or I found it easily, without too much thought. One got naked and sent me pictures, even though I wasn't really edging for anything. She insisted I do the same, but I wasn't into it. She seemed to want a relationship with me, already. And I talked to another one until there was probably only an hour at most, before my grandma's death. This one was born on a 23rd of some month, and majored in religious studies, I think. Came from a very religious family, but had become very open minded. Our conversation was really engaging, and depth-ful. She gave me her number. I simply never got back with her, because of the timing. I wanted to, but didn't.
The day my grandmother died relates to the perceived deadline with a girl I met a couple of years prior, on that day, which could translate into a certain deadline between us, in that level of relationship. Donna, who I also mention in 3. To talk about all of this, however, and try to fit it all in, here, where and in a way people can read, might be like trying to squash an onion. The layers... Might not be layers anymore. They smash. I think that is what happens when I try to write this stuff out, sometimes. Donna relates to my heart. I took myself to the hospital thinking I was having a heart attack the year after this deadline-perceived, with her. The next year the name "Hart" popped up as the first order of my day, at the restaurant I worked at. The next year, my grandma died. The next year, my mom retired.
3. My friend Richard's dad, died on the 23rd of October, and the chuch I went to see him at, for visitation before they had their funeral, was at a 1840 something 16th street, I think. 1840 is 80x23. The number 184 I already had much reference with, it being both my mother's full name sum (Ordinal numerology) which stuck, because I first made reflection of it through a girl, Donna, as a hypothetical sum of her name, following my gut feeling in some sense, of what she might be to me, potentially, what she already felt like. The only conflict was that we weren't (married). We also met on the 23rd day of the year. Days before Richard's dad's death, she posts an image with 23 repeating twice and of four numbers an average of 23, with nails in the image, with camouflage rosettes, like feline rosettes. NailPro- a magazine cover. Richard Donald is my best friend (was once, still could be, but we have been apart a long time). We grew up together. Donna Richele is the girl to have effected me the most, seemingly, even though we only just met, and didn't spend jack in time together. Her father is also Donald Richard. So they are close. The two close people. Her father was born on 8/30. Richard was born on 8/20. With a tiny amount of creativity, one could find 8/20 and 8/30 and 2 and 3, and both 8s are 2 to the 3rd power. Even if you disagree with the numbers, don't let that detract from what else is presented. The friend I spent the most time with growing up and the girl I spend the most time thinking about/effected me the strongest both have names coming from Richard Donald- his name. Her faither is also Donald Richard. Only about three days prior to his father dying, she posted images of 23 on her facebook, as her profile image.
It just happened that way. Even if I might sense at times some mystical connection, it is not directly implied. But these people were in my attention, at the time, and are in my attention, nonetheless.
![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")