TheMerryPrankster
Bluelighter
Thanks - I feel really blessed to be in here - wish it had been around back when I really needed the help and support. But hey - it's here now.
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If i loose my health once more, i wait half to 1 year. Then if not passing, i commit. No worries, i don't want to have sanctuary here even it would be over 1000 posts. And clearing them away ,if done, in some yearly cleaning. Or put it this way, his parents serched the cellphone and put him permanently away.
Is it possible with 100 tab bottle of clotsapine 100mgs and 100 tab bottle of alprazolam 2mgs with tolerance to both?
I've been trying to follow our friend here, but its just usually too much to try and decode.
I can understand him just fine![]()
Orangutang, as others have said, benzos are not to be used for suicidal purposes, especially with a tolerance like yours.
You mentioned your health, what's wrong??
benzo's on their own are very safe when overdosed but when mixed they are lethal especially with res. depressants like opiates. I took 40 10mg diazepam and 2 bags i.v. heroin and i was in a coma for a while, sadly some member of public found me + drove me to a hospital, bloody do-gooder thus saving my "life".
This was bout 12 months ago and if my H dealer had answered his phone and dropped the H at my house i wouldnt be talking to you now.
I'm not really sure what you're asking. I get the inkling due to the nature of this thread, and the fact you are posting asking about alprazolam, is if it's enough to do yourself in.
Quite simply, benzos are not suicide material. They have a very large therapeutic window, and are rather difficult to overdose on. Please do not attempt suicide using benzos. Tolerance will also limit the effects benzos have on you in the first place.
I've been trying to follow our friend here, but its just usually too much to try and decode. Finnish and Estonian are amongst the hardest to translate into standard English.
but yeah, the gist of everything I've read by our resident Finn is just that.....
Capt. Heroin is right, benzodiazepines are problematic for suicide. Not impossible, because they'll still kill yeh.... just.... problematic.
death by benzo is a really ugly affair, regardless.... as far as suicides go.
I had a friend who committed suicide a while back, who tried once to OD on valium and booze. got 'im sent to the ER for that. He said that while it wasn't a classic near-death experience, he wasn't completely out. Said it was the most terrifying thing, because it felt like being smothered or waterboarded the entire time.
that was for the better part of 24hrs. imagine being waterboarded for that long. ugh.
I can understand him just fine![]()
Orangutang, as others have said, benzos are not to be used for suicidal purposes, especially with a tolerance like yours.
You mentioned your health, what's wrong??
Anyway i'm not picking a fight. So benzos are not lethal but therapeutic. Right on man. Do those "banzos" have LD50?
As far as I know, Benzos do not have a standard LD50. The body can tolerate *very* high doses of Benzos - and I may have read that the excess is simply bypassed and excreted. They become a lot more dangerous when mixed with alcohol and several other prescription drugs.
If you want to kill yourself - benzos are not the way to go - as you will probably just end up in hospital and will no longer be able to get any benzos anymore.
Are you contemplating suicide? I could tell you a few things that will kill you for sure - even with no pain - but I'd rather try and influence you to stay alive.
I don;t know what your problems are - in the end it really doesn;t matter what the details are - just that you finally get to the point where it seems like you are unhappy and that you will be unhappy forever and nothig can change that. At times like these - suicide can seem like a truly viable option. But while I have most certainly at more than one time, seen a number of reasons to commit suicide, I have also seen a million more reasons *not* to.
I can share some of my insight if you are interested. Let me just tell you this for now.
I have just come out of the worst decade of my life. My life got so bad, in so many ways for *so* long that after *years* of it, I saw suicide as the only really viable option. I went from being someone who was thinking about suicide - even talking about suicide - wrestling with it - to someone who was going to do it. I stipped talking about it - I put on a face that showed nothing to anyone, and I styarted researching ways to do it that would kill me for *sure* - no 'attempted' suicide for me. Not a cry for help.
I was too afraid for most of them (I *am* afraid of dying - but I am *not* afraid of death). I realized that one of the most successful ways to do it was to hang yourself. As long as you do it right, it is painless and instant. SO I began doing the research into it. my biggest concern was that I would make the drop too far, and that it would decapitate me - and it was bad enough that someone might have to find my body - but to find my body and my head in different places - well that would have just been *rude*. So I found the exact length needed to kill me, butleave my head where it was supposed to be. I found the tree to jump from. I put up the rope.
And then I spent nearly two years wakingup every day, wondering if it would be my last. Each and every day - for two full years, I made the decision, one day at a time, to live just *one* more day.
Probably the *only* thing that *did* keep my alive was my kids. I have two kids that I adore - they are my world - and I could not bring myself to be so selfish that I would leave them a legacy that was me killing myself. Eventually I realized that if after 2 years I had not killed myuself for *this* reason - that I was most likely not going to do it. And once I realized that I had no choice other than staying alive, I decided one last time to give myself one final chance - a *real* one. So two years ago, I painted my car psychedelic Day Glo colours, drew a lot of attention to myself so that peolpe would start talking to me (I live on a small island and I had no friends at all). I started making the effort to go to social events (like playing music at Jam sessions) - and to just make all the kinds of effort that I had never made before. I decided to change who I was at the *core* because the 'me' that I had become was someoe who did not want to live. So I decided to make a new me - and to be the person that I have always wanted to be, but neverhad the courage. All of the things in life that used to frighten me were no longer an issue. Compared to *killing* myself, making the effort to change the way I live was not as hard as it once seemed.
I have had a number of friends in similar situations - and these friends have *not* found what they need yet - so it's not like I'm saying - hey - it;s easy - it;s not. And I would always seem to start slipping back to who I was before - but in the end I started to notice a difference.
To make the long story short - I am happy again. I am still on my own and have not had sex, or even a *date* in over 4 years - but I have made a lot of friends and acquaintances. I found a group of psychedelic people who I can relate to and be myself with - even though most of them are half my age.
I am *happy* again - after nearly 10 years of absolute hell - one divorce that lasted 4 horrible years - I lost my kids and had to fight in Supreme court to get them back - I have been so poor that the winter before last I was only *eating* about twice a week.
AFter years of depression/suicidal feelings, I had lost *all* faith in *ever* being happy again. As far as I was concerned it was no longer possible. Even if I imagined I had all the money n the wporld and I could do *anything* I wanted, there was nothing that I could think of that would make me happy. It was just *gone*.
yet here I am - alive and happy - being more creative than I have in years - huge group of friends. I am as far away from feeling suicidal as I was close to it back then. I am better.
my point? It *is* possible. I know one thing - no matter *where* you are - no matter *how* bad it is - and you know it's only going to get worse. No matter what you have been through - no matter how long - how deep - you can *ALWAYS* fix it and be happy again.
And you'd be amazed at how quickly you heal and forget about the bad stuff when it's all good again.
I have a lot of reasons (other ones) for being pro-life in regards to suicide - but the point I wnated to make is that suicide is in part a product of losing all hope - losing the belief that it is *possible* for it to get better. And I am trying to tell you that it is. It is always possible - for *everything* to get *completely* better. It takes a lot of work - and a willingness to change. But there are a hundren different solutions - all infinitely better than suicide.
If you kill yourself - you really reduce your chances of finding happiness.
Please don't do it.
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except by my father and kids.
