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Suicide thread, for assitance and support for all things related to suicide

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Being teased about anything isn't fun so I sympathize with everyone here about that.

Keep in mind that people who pick on others are often more insecure than you are - and that is the only reason why they pick on others in the first place.
 
Captain.Heroin said:
Being teased about anything isn't fun so I sympathize with everyone here about that.

Keep in mind that people who pick on others are often more insecure than you are - and that is the only reason why they pick on others in the first place.
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very true indeed
 
ronpaul3046 said:
thanks. ya i workout too, i love it. pumping iron is one of my last true joys in life. i also play video games, for example right now i have 3 bots going in runescape to prepare for free trade, hahaha.
i also play online multiplayer on xbox too

usually when it comes to death i feel like we are all guarenteed to die, so why rush it
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hey man dunno wat kind of games u play, i'm into fable 3 now, but i play everything. wouldnt mind getting into some left for dead 2. lol
my xbox id is Drew P Draws
so hit me up bro!
 
I don't remember if I asked this before. What happens when you call a suicide hotline? If I say I want to kill myself & have a plan will they trace my call & come after me?
 
I honestly don't know ZAP, hopefully someone here will have an answer for you.

But if you're calling a suicide hotline, that indicates that you're feeling suicidal yet you want help because deep down you really don't want to go through with it, i.e. you do actually want to stay alive. Feelings of suicide can be overcome ZAP, you don't have to give in. Talk to us, we're all here for you <3
 
From time to time I think I should take a few days off and go to a psych ward. But they can't treat the underlying problem. They'd probably just ridicule me to pieces and make me feel like shit, as hospitals do. I've been in psych wards 4 times. Didn't really help, cuz they did nothing about my REAL problem...they treated it as taboo. Not that they could help me wo handing me 7 grand.

Still I don't want to risk being taken off adderall which helps me to an extent. My depression won't fzully end til I get where I need to be, which involves money. They can't make that happen. And unless they drug me enough to make biding my time bearable, I dnt see the point.
 
The thing you need money for, I know you want it so badly, but you can't say that it won't ever happen. We cannot possibly know the whole future, regardless of what our current situation is. Sure, you don't have the money now, nor do you have a way of obtaining the money in the foreseeable future. But what about after the foreseeable future? You never know, you could come in to some money then and be able to obtain your goal.

Never say never ZAP.

BUT on the other hand, if you end your life, then that's it. Your chance at obtaining that happiness which you so desire will be gone forever. From my perspective if you want this thing badly enough, you shouldn't risk never achieving it, just because you can't have it now.

Know what I mean?

In the meantime it would be more productive and helpful to your goal for you to try and focus on the good things you have going on in your life, focus on the positives, instead of focussing on the thing which you can't have. Only focussing on the negatives is very unhealthy and only perpetuates negative feelings. You've got a lot to live for ZAP <3
 
I have a means of earning the money. I'm busting ass at a steel factory 60 hrs a week. Throwing any. & all money I don't absolutely need in a savings acct.

I know I have alot to live for. I just need to get thru this hell of dealing with it day to day til I have the money. its like a slow torturous death. If I could get a loan I would but my credit is shit & I don't qualify.
 
I thought I wanted to end it tonight. I told one of my friends, who is just a superficial friend to me, we aren't very close. He freaked out and contacted one of my close friends, who I ignored all calls from, and from the friend I told. I was going to go out to the bar around 10:30, and crash my car on the way home. I had aural hallucinations and extreme paranoia for the first time ever today (before using any drugs) and a low dose of xanax didn't stop it. I honestly wanted it over, but part of me didn't which is why I told someone.

I'm glad that superficial friend of mine came over and sat with me while I calmed down, and wouldn't let me leave the house, and I promised him I wouldn't leave. The other friend was going to call 911. I honestly didn't think anyone cared this much, I wanted to make it look like an accident, I just wanted to tell someone so they would know the truth, and I wanted someone to talk me out of it I guess, since I had talked myself into it so bad.

I think I need to say fuck being broke and fuck having shitty health insurance, and make a psych appointment either tomorrow or the day after. If tonight wasn't intercepted, I would be dead already, or enjoying my final hours. I'm in a dark place, I'm scared. I'm calmed down for the night, but this scared me, I've never gotten this bad before, I never started hearing things that weren't there and being paranoid people were out to get me (had used no drugs, tried some pot later in the day thinking it would help but it made the paranoia worse, and have only taken about 1mg of xanax since then).

I'm rambling, but the only reason I even opened my laptop back up was to post on this thread. Although right now I'm sort of partially annoyed I couldn't go through with it, I'm partially grateful that someone stopped me. I still don't feel like the world would have lost much by losing me, and part of it was a delusion that I wanted to be with my mom again, whom I lost over 3 years ago to cancer.

I'm still crying, but at least now I know I'm safe for tonight at least. Probably best to sedate myself and try life over again tomorrow.
 
its always worth the try.
and it can be surprising to find out who and how concerned people you would of never guessed can be, definitely re instills a sense of humanity, and a further respect for life.

thats a real blessing to of had them intervene, who knows if things would of happened as planned.
could of ended with you alive, with a lot of questions to answer...

if i was a parent, who had passed, id be doing what ever possible to help my child survive - even if it meant snapping my fingers in a strangers head, to get up and go...!


i really hope you can find the peace and help you deserve.

<3
Xx
 
purple_cloud said:
I thought I wanted to end it tonight. I told one of my friends, who is just a superficial friend to me, we aren't very close. He freaked out and contacted one of my close friends, who I ignored all calls from, and from the friend I told. I was going to go out to the bar around 10:30, and crash my car on the way home. I had aural hallucinations and extreme paranoia for the first time ever today (before using any drugs) and a low dose of xanax didn't stop it. I honestly wanted it over, but part of me didn't which is why I told someone.

I'm glad that superficial friend of mine came over and sat with me while I calmed down, and wouldn't let me leave the house, and I promised him I wouldn't leave. The other friend was going to call 911. I honestly didn't think anyone cared this much, I wanted to make it look like an accident, I just wanted to tell someone so they would know the truth, and I wanted someone to talk me out of it I guess, since I had talked myself into it so bad.

I think I need to say fuck being broke and fuck having shitty health insurance, and make a psych appointment either tomorrow or the day after. If tonight wasn't intercepted, I would be dead already, or enjoying my final hours. I'm in a dark place, I'm scared. I'm calmed down for the night, but this scared me, I've never gotten this bad before, I never started hearing things that weren't there and being paranoid people were out to get me (had used no drugs, tried some pot later in the day thinking it would help but it made the paranoia worse, and have only taken about 1mg of xanax since then).

I'm rambling, but the only reason I even opened my laptop back up was to post on this thread. Although right now I'm sort of partially annoyed I couldn't go through with it, I'm partially grateful that someone stopped me. I still don't feel like the world would have lost much by losing me, and part of it was a delusion that I wanted to be with my mom again, whom I lost over 3 years ago to cancer.

I'm still crying, but at least now I know I'm safe for tonight at least. Probably best to sedate myself and try life over again tomorrow.
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I wish you the best P_C! PM me whenever you'd like. I have been struggling a lot too recently but we will all move past this.

zombiesarepeaceful said:
I have a means of earning the money. I'm busting ass at a steel factory 60 hrs a week. Throwing any. & all money I don't absolutely need in a savings acct.

I know I have alot to live for. I just need to get thru this hell of dealing with it day to day til I have the money. its like a slow torturous death. If I could get a loan I would but my credit is shit & I don't qualify.
Click to expand...

One day you will feel differently about your life, even if there is only one way to do it, you will do it. Your determination is impressive, I know you have already saved up some money, and I know you will continue to until you get there.

Best of luck building your savings account up!
 
I seriously spent the better part of the day trying to find some mental health services. Either I got nastily hung up on, the number was no longer active, or the really really nice people told me that they don't take my insurance and don't have any form of reduced fees so I wouldn't be able to afford their care. I'm in tears, after last night I honestly sat here most of the day trying to find help only to find out it's not available for me. This is ridiculous. Now I'm just crying more since on top of how bad I feel, I feel defeated too.
 
iy fuck man

ive been through the same thing, except while in un stoppable pain...
closed #'s, A-holes, or kinder people who couldn't do anything for me at the facility they were at.
and when i did, trying to find a "cabulance" took 1.5 hours, to hear, oh we don't service your area....

going into the ER may be your best bet at getting some help.
has for me in the past with psychological distress, and i was directed to actual helpful resources.


i think i know about just how you are feeling atm, and it sucks...
but you are trying, be persistent, do not give on up on trying to help yourself, no matter how many obstacles you run into... you hold your value, they do not determine yours.
after so long of this sort of non sense, its done nothing but inspire me to eventually get the help i need, and give the help i needed in some form.
 
Seconded, the ER is your best bet for getting immediate help. They may send you to a crisis center or short term inpatient facility. That's my experience at least. I sat in a padded room for a few hrs and a lady came & talked to me to decide where I was going. All in all it wasn't bad.
 
Thanks PiP, I called my insurance company to find out if I was still covered, and I am. So I tried calling another place, they were very nice but clearly leaving very soon for the night, so by the time I tried to call my insurance company and then try them back, they were no longer there. Guess I can try them again tomorrow, they were also extremely nice and polite over the phone. It's just really, really fucking aggravating that I'm in my early 20s, have an education, realize I need to do something about my mental status, and it literally takes a day of making phonecalls and researching facilities only to find out help isn't really available. I don't want to go to the ER, since the co-pay on that is quite expensive, and they aren't going to offer any continuing services which is what I need ideally. There are multiple psych hospitals in the area but they seem to either want you to have better insurance, or be actively psychotic/have a recommendation from a doctor in order to see you.

This is a long shot, but if ANYONE reading this is in the Western NY area, particularly Buffalo, and has any idea how to help me, I'm willing to listen.


I also do NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT want any inpatient services, bad enough the Explanation of Benefits is going to be sent to my home address, which I'm 8 hours away from, and I do NOT want my family to know anything about this. Plus, my insurance sucks as it is, I'll be paying for inpatient care forever. I feel like if some fucking place would be willing to just give me an appointment, I'd be able to tell myself things will be okay until then. Apparently that's too much to ask for.
 
Hey donnie080208 if you're out there man please hit me up with a quick PM or just a quick post to let us know you're OK and safe. Haven't heard from you in a few days just worried is all <3

Edit - Spoke to him a few days ago he's fine. :)
Sending you some love man <3
 
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As far as medical bills from inpatient care...I say fuck em. They aren't counted on most credit applications and if I'm sick or need help I'm not about to not get help cuz I have medical bills. We'fre not required to pay upfront at the er or for inpatient care. So fuck it.
 
Pp_Cd, for someone so afraid of inpatient- I reeeaaally would hope you had nothing to do with the cops knocking on my door and barging into my bedroom trying to lock me up shortly after the last time I posted in this thread around these past holidays.....

>=\

you know how to get me if u need anything.. and you know as well as anyone that I don't say 'no' all too often, so don't be afraid to ask. Reaching high things, lifting moderately heavy stuff, a living creature with slightly higher cognitive ability than your hamster to talk to, whatever you need, say the word
 
cant handle it

I'm in bed at my house. My quality of life and prospect of a.hopeful future has been shattered over the last couple months.. I took eight mg of xanax and I'm holding the rest of my sixty pill script in my hand ready to down it. I'm scared of how awful it will feel before I get relief .. my parents and loved ones won't drive to see me and don't believe I can be so depressed that I may end my life .. I know ill be better tomorrow morning but how many nights can I spend like this before I break .. I KNOW life is worth living, but no matter how hard I try I can't get my mind to register that and be logical about the situation I just need it to end. Doesn't help I'm an extreme polydrug addict and haven't gone a day without getting high on something in a year.. what the fuck do I do I'm in denial that psychiatrists can help me
 
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