Yeah, I have similar issues with alcohol.
I used to be a big drinker in my younger years (12 years as a bartender...comes with the territory) and had gotten that pretty under control (learned some moderation, mainly due to nasty hangovers I try to avoid). Using opiates actually helped curb my drinking cravings which is one of the reasons I used. I was able to keep myself under a couple of drinks while out socially if I was high af off an opiate. I don't know if I'm ready to go "full sober" yet but I'm definitely not going to overinduldge in alcohol for awhile. Went out with a buddy of mine last night for tacos and I had one beer.
I've been telling all my friends about my hidden problem lately, and they have been nothing but incredibly supportive (as is my ex who broke up with me last week bc of my opiate addiction). I figure not letting this be my little secret anymore helps me be more accountable for my future actions. I feel like shit right now, but I keep telling myself this isn't forever and that if I keep using I am just going to have to do this withdrawal time and time again. My ex boyfriend made a good point to me yesterday when I called him whining about how bad I felt, he said "This moment right now? Remember it. Remember it every time you think you can just take one pill and not get back into this. Remember this is what it does to you." and those words were powerful to me. Just gotta keep trucking for a few more days and the physical parts will be over and it'll be easier for me to get out and do more things in the world that bring me joy that aren't pills or heroin. I used to be a really big hiker (did the whole AT when I was 22) and I plan on doing some hikes soon which is giving me something to look forward to. I'm also fortunate that I'm an extroverted person, so getting out there and doing things with people isn't too hard for me.
And yes, cannibis helps tremendously for me. I took a puff off my buddy's vape pen last night and felt a lot better. Unfortunately the program I'm in does monthly drug tests and I can never phase up (which gives you more take home meds, requires less counselor appts etc) if I keep failing, even if its just THC. I had THC in my system from this past weekend before I was inducted so I had it on my drug test on my first day. I wont be tested again for another month, so I figure last night was my last chance. It's a shame I don't live in a legal state, because cannibis helps...so much!
I suffer from depression too (which I self medicated with opiates for the past 3 years on and off) so I know how you're feeling. Just remember, it'll pass and everything will be better sooner than you believe. If you cave to the opes you're just going to have to keep going through this over and over..there's no end game where things work out well for you and you can still be high all the time. Well, unless you OD from opiates that is. I'm 31, way too young for all that!