Just wanted to put some things in perspective if possible after reading through this thread for a bit. Seems like there is a lack of gratitude from some that they are or were even given the opportunity to be on suboxone maintenance with all the poor souls out there struggling day to day, sometimes hour to hour, just to not start getting really sick. When I finally had the ability to pay for and get accepted into a doctor I was so grateful to not have to be on that grind everyday, consuming every thought of how, where do I get the cash, who can I screw over this time just to not start the serious DTs. It was so great to wake up in the am without that empty pit in my stomach feeling, the sweats, the guilt and shame.
Yea, there are downsides to it but I'm not going to get into that ungreatful mode of thinking which really is just relapse before picking up again. Just remember the people you know out there doing all those horrible things to, well, let's face it, not really even get high anymore, just not get sick.
We have one group a month we are required to attend and go to 4 meetings a month and all I seem to hear in my group is complaining a bout that. "I don't have a ride," "can't find a sitter," "gas costs too much.". On and on but I bet if you needed your dope it would get done. And it's clear to me that most in the group are using other drugs, trading their subs, whatever. We can all see someone that's high or full of shit because we all used to do the same shit.
All I'm trying to say is be thankful your able to be in the program because you are fortunate no matter the fact that everyone should be given the opportunity rather than suffer like we have or put the ones closest to us through so much grief and pain. And if you don't want to be on suboxone or think you were duped by a doctor that most likely really is trying to help you, quit and go back to your DOC or better yet get totally clean. Remember you have a disease though not just a habit.
Just try to remember from one addict to another, gratitude is your best friend. If subs keep you from stealing from your mother, lying to your sister, selling your body, or robbing your friend, just try to be grateful. Maybe that's not the point of this thread but it is what I expected to read when I entered, not a bunch of sour grapes.
Have a nice day- Luca