staudri
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Sep 6, 2003
- Messages
- 539
i'm not sure if this goes here, but its about the best place to put it
i suppose this counts because its a result of sex..... so .... im 16 and 8 months pregnant. im flippin out beacuse im so fucking scared i wont be able to do it. my son deserves so much better than i can give him. his whole universe is gunna b centered on me and i can barely even wipe my own ass. i cant stand the thought that his life might get fucked up because of me, im just terrified that my best wont be good enough, he shouldnt have to suffer because im a dumbass. i want to give him a good life and happiness and all the oppertunities possible, but im just so fucking scared im gunna fuck everything up....b4 it was just me and i really didnt care if my happiness was pissed away, but now another human being depends on me...i just dont want to fuck it up for him, but im soo scared i will and that no matter what i do ill still fail him in the end, i dont want him to grow up to hate me and think that i didnt even try... and if something bad ever happens to him, its gunna be my fault somehow, and i cant protect him from everything forever, and i hear shit on the news about kids and fucked up shit that happens all the time and i wanna puke. im just scared of everything... i dont want to let him down, i want him to know how much i love him so much it hurts and i havnt even met him yet, and how important he is to me, and im scared hell think im a piece of shit. i just cant fathom all the shit racing in my head all day....... let it be known IVE HAD ENOUGH PUT DOWNS!! i know i fucked up, i know im irresponsible,and i know 'shouldnt have had sex...etc.' and ill be the 1st to tell you i put myself in this situation. and nothing can be done about it now, so if anyone could find the heart for a little encouragement, and not critisizms, please let me know this can be done, and that im not crazy.....
i suppose this counts because its a result of sex..... so .... im 16 and 8 months pregnant. im flippin out beacuse im so fucking scared i wont be able to do it. my son deserves so much better than i can give him. his whole universe is gunna b centered on me and i can barely even wipe my own ass. i cant stand the thought that his life might get fucked up because of me, im just terrified that my best wont be good enough, he shouldnt have to suffer because im a dumbass. i want to give him a good life and happiness and all the oppertunities possible, but im just so fucking scared im gunna fuck everything up....b4 it was just me and i really didnt care if my happiness was pissed away, but now another human being depends on me...i just dont want to fuck it up for him, but im soo scared i will and that no matter what i do ill still fail him in the end, i dont want him to grow up to hate me and think that i didnt even try... and if something bad ever happens to him, its gunna be my fault somehow, and i cant protect him from everything forever, and i hear shit on the news about kids and fucked up shit that happens all the time and i wanna puke. im just scared of everything... i dont want to let him down, i want him to know how much i love him so much it hurts and i havnt even met him yet, and how important he is to me, and im scared hell think im a piece of shit. i just cant fathom all the shit racing in my head all day....... let it be known IVE HAD ENOUGH PUT DOWNS!! i know i fucked up, i know im irresponsible,and i know 'shouldnt have had sex...etc.' and ill be the 1st to tell you i put myself in this situation. and nothing can be done about it now, so if anyone could find the heart for a little encouragement, and not critisizms, please let me know this can be done, and that im not crazy.....