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Staudri's Pregnancy & Birth thread.. Welcome Elijah Travis! UPDATE - New pics p.10

staudri

staudri

Bluelighter
Joined
Sep 6, 2003
Messages
539
i'm not sure if this goes here, but its about the best place to put it

i suppose this counts because its a result of sex..... so .... im 16 and 8 months pregnant. im flippin out beacuse im so fucking scared i wont be able to do it. my son deserves so much better than i can give him. his whole universe is gunna b centered on me and i can barely even wipe my own ass. i cant stand the thought that his life might get fucked up because of me, im just terrified that my best wont be good enough, he shouldnt have to suffer because im a dumbass. i want to give him a good life and happiness and all the oppertunities possible, but im just so fucking scared im gunna fuck everything up....b4 it was just me and i really didnt care if my happiness was pissed away, but now another human being depends on me...i just dont want to fuck it up for him, but im soo scared i will and that no matter what i do ill still fail him in the end, i dont want him to grow up to hate me and think that i didnt even try... and if something bad ever happens to him, its gunna be my fault somehow, and i cant protect him from everything forever, and i hear shit on the news about kids and fucked up shit that happens all the time and i wanna puke. im just scared of everything... i dont want to let him down, i want him to know how much i love him so much it hurts and i havnt even met him yet, and how important he is to me, and im scared hell think im a piece of shit. i just cant fathom all the shit racing in my head all day....... let it be known IVE HAD ENOUGH PUT DOWNS!! i know i fucked up, i know im irresponsible,and i know 'shouldnt have had sex...etc.' and ill be the 1st to tell you i put myself in this situation. and nothing can be done about it now, so if anyone could find the heart for a little encouragement, and not critisizms, please let me know this can be done, and that im not crazy.....
 
Hi hunny.
First off, congratulations!!
Secondly, you aren't going to fuck up. You know how much your child needs you and it sounds like you're willing to do whatever it takes to make that happen. The fact that you are young will make it a little more difficult, but you can handle it. Once you look into his eyes for the first time , and see him grab your finger it will all be worth it. You'll be great.
Thirdly, if you are that discouraged about being a mom, have you thought of adoption? There are SO many parents out there who can't have children of their own and are just waiting for an infant to become available for adoption. I know it's a hard thought to give them up but in the end it may make you the most happy knowing you gave them up for THEM, and their happiness.

Again, i hope it works out, you'll do great. A friend of mine gave birth at 17 to a little boy, who is now almost 3, and she just loves him to bits...and he adores her.
If it's an option, try to get daddy involved in the childs life, or at least a father figure if possible. Its not compulsory, but always nice to have additional support.
Best of luck :)
 
staudri...........you sure as hell sound like you are going to be one hell of a great mum.

How do i know this??.............easy............because it is so obvious that you care..........you really do give a damn..........and nobody can ask more than that.

Your not dum just because you got pregnant........jeees that can happen to anyone, its got nothing whatsoever to do with your mental ability.............in fact the love that you obviously have for your new baby is in fact an indication of your intelligence.

Hey there is no doubt that its gunna be tough at times........I hope you have a really good group of friends and parents that are supporting you.

You havent mentioned dad yet........is he gunna be there for you??

Just dont let it all get to you and if things are starting to get on top of you a bit then you know that you have a heap of people online that are omnly a few presses of the button away from being able to help you.

Hey maybe you would be able to share this new one with us all here online...........me for one thinks that would be really cool and not only that but he/she would become one of the most loved children in history............lol.

Believe me.........your child will only ever think good thoughts of you for being such a great mum..........hey your gunna make boo boos..........u wouldnt be human if you didnt.........everybody makes em........but in the scheme of things they will mean nothing.

There are some truly amazing people here at bluelight and Im sure if you are ever not sure about something then all you have to do is pop in here and say hello.

AM I RIGHT FELLOW BLUELIGHTERS????


Now you keep your chin up and always smiling and that smile will be transposed to your child, along with your love.........please post us some pics and kleep us updated.
 
thanks for the support already, i tried to post on a couple other sites and i just got ridiculed. im due on may 22nd , and will definitly keep everyone updated! anywho, the father is in the picture, but i do know the bitter truth that he cant be counted on. if it works out , great, but im still preparing myself to be ready to do this alone. i am worried about the wellbeing of my child above all. i know this is a dismal way of thinking , but id rather be prepared to do it alone as opposed to dealing with the shock and dispair when it happens. i dont believe in abortion or adoption ( im all for women having the right to choose, but its just not for me) i figure i put myself in this situation and its my responsibility to grow the fuck up (quick!) and do the best i can. and after these months of feeling him and talking to him , i cant imagine handing him over to someone else. when i was 33 weeks i had to have emergency surgery to take out my appendix ( they said it might burst and kill the baby) and i was terrified something would happen to him, expecially when they put me out to operate and then on a morphine drip! i told them not to give it to me because i didnt want him to be affected the rest of his life, while me being in pain could only last so long, but they said if i didnt have it i might go into shock and that would be worse..... they said he was fine however i was very upset they didnt do any tests at all, they just assumed he was ok....i dont even think ill trust the nurses with him when hes born... i cant even imagine what it will be like going back to work and sending him off to pre-school...thatll be hell...and im also worried that something will go wrong when i go into labor........im just a big mess of worries and hormones.....my head cant stop wondering what could go wrong......ok , im gonna stop rambeling
 
this is the exact reason why im pro abortion..

but anyhow im pressuming ur a single mum? life isnt going to be easy, but it wont be impossible, try finnish school if u can.. better education, better job..
 
good luck and congratulations.

its not gonna be easy. my mom had my brother at a teen and its been hard for her, but in the end its worth it because you created a beautiful baby. your going to be a great mom, mazdan is right, its because you care.
 
If you have a strong social support network, especially one which includes other mothers, you just can't go wrong. Don't be afraid to ask other mothers and grandmothers in your life about any doubts you have. They'll be HONORED to offer you helpful advice about how to care for a child, and probably offer you useful tidbits you never even thought to ask for! Your asking them will remind them of their own experiences raising a child, which likely include many happy memories.

Don't ever forget, it takes a village to raise a child. Don't think you have to be an expert who knows it all from day one. Chances are that any parent, including your own, received a lot of outside help getting their child to where he/she is today.
 
i want to give him a good life and happiness and all the oppertunities possible
Click to expand...
This is what really matters. Have you been keeping up with your scheduled appointments? There are so many things that can be checked up on and found out about before the actual birth that you need to be aware of. Have you went to any sort of birthing classes? If not, you might want to check into some of those. Get youself a copy of "what to expect when you're expecting" from the library (cause you won't need it long!) and then buy yourself a copy of the one that explains the expectations for the first few years. Ask when you don't know the answers. The most informed people are often the ones that merely know who to ask when they don't know the answer :) There is tons of help out there for young mothers that need it.....take advantage of it all :)

Best of luck, and lots of love to your baby :)
 
in my own opinion, you already know that you are going to give it your all in giving your son the best you can offer. and again IMO, stop worrying about some of these things and move on to other things like planning and shit. well i dont know too much about having a child, but i know that worrying about things only makes things worse. PLAN MORE AND WORRY LESS. just my 2 cents, thanks.
 
Congratulations! I know many people may think that a sixteen year old getting pregnant is a bad thing but I believe that everything happens for a reason and that things always work out in the end the way that they are supposed to. I know that you must be scared out of your mind about the future but all I can say is to stay positive and to make sure that you are doing everything that you can to provide the type of life that you want for your baby. Yeah, you might be able to provide all the material things would like to for your child but you have something that you can provide for your child that can't be bought, love. It's obvious that you love the child that you are carrying and once you have it, I'm sure that you will be a great mom. Just take a deep breath and relax.
 
Holy shit...

You don't know me kid, but I know you. I'm sorry to see your in this kind of situation, no one as young as yourself should have to deal with being a parent and tossed into the adult world with no preparation. Best of luck, in whatever you do.

This may be a little personal, and odd since you don't know me,... but how does your sister feel about being an aunt so soon?
 
I don't know what to say, except everything happens for a reason..I don't believe in mistakes..not when it comes to pregnancies anyways..I don't think conception is ever a mistake..it all comes down to the choices you make from here on out. I am sure that you will be strong enough to take care of your little one. :)

I also suggest you send Beanergrl a PM..she got preg very young in life and her life has turned out wonderful. She is a very sweet person and I am sure she wouldn't mind sharing her story with you and offering advice. She could probably help much more than I could..I'm 21 and have never been pregnant...

All I can say is GOOD LUCK and congrats! :)
 
I am 24 with a 14mth old lil boy. Im hardly a teen mother, but it was a surprise pregnancy that i wasn't ready for so i think i can relate.

I was never keen on having kids.. well at least not yet. My mother spent months telling me how hard labour was going to be and had me scared shitless, but Matt was born after 5 hours, and looking back, i dont remember it being that hard!.. well at least not as my mother made out it to be. I guess what you have to do here is try to relax and stop stressing about it. It's gonna happen, but i was told at my prenatal classes, it's pain for a reason, you get something at the end. Not like if you break your arm and it just hurts and you dont get anything nice at the end.

I wasn' t sure what to expect from being a mother, i didn't know how i was going to change a nappy, or bath a baby, or breastfeed, or know what to do when he cried. These things just come naturally once your a mother.

It's definately a change to be in charge of another human being and it forces you to grow up quick, but i can still enjoy myself and behave like a dick. I would say my life is richer now i have Matt :)

Anyways, all the best and stop worrying, you'll be a great mother :)
 
My son was born three weeks before my 17th birthday and i too was shit scared of having a baby and being a good mum and giving my child everythng they needed. I have been a sole parent since was was three years old (he's now nine) and the amount of critisism i got like "your too young to raise a child " etc etc blah blah blah was shocking and alot of this was from my own family. Not to mention the disgusted looks i got from strangers when i was pushing him in his pram and what not.

you know what i have to say to that?

*sticks middle finger up and says "fuck you all i proved you wrong" * =D

I have raised a beautiful child. well aware, intelligent, confident, full of life, happy, accepting, kind , unselfish, loving, affectionate, and he isnt a little brat like all the others parents who are twice my age and have partners and live with wealth and have their 2.3 children , take their kids to church and drive their station wagons to the white picket fenced houses :p

It's up to you the values you teach your child and what you say and do to raise them into a DECENT person in this fucked up society of ours and age has nothing to do with being a god mum :)

Sure its a hard job. Everything you do will affect them in one way or another and its a contsant desision making process but as long as you CARE about their welf fare and do the best you can you will both be fine...have faith in yourself and the love that you have for your child within you...the fact that you are questioning doing a good job shows that you will...much luck to you babe...i bet you will be a great mum and will raise one of the beautiful souls that will exsist on this earth :)
 
are you planning on raising the child? if so good luck. if you have any doubts about your ability to raise it, consider adoption, as you both might be better off in the end
 
doofqueen......... congratulations on an excellent effort in bringing your child up.............I dont know u from a bar of soap but i can tell from what you have written that you have instailled into your child the most important things in life.

Staudri............you are gunna do just great and dont you dare give such a beautiful thing away..........Im shocked that people are actually suggesting that when it is so obvious that you care so much...............if only there were more people like u in the world.

Dont forget there will always be people here if you need help, you will never be alone.
 
Thanks mazdan. I take pride in the gorgeous little spirit that i have raised. It's amazing sometimes just how proud i am of the PERSON that he is at just nine years old who has got it more together then alot of adults i know and i have to take pride in myself that he is who he is because of me...all that prde wrapped up together is enough to blow my head off hehehe

The thing is i don't know why more parents are proud of their children for just being THEM and not for anything they have accomplished in life like what they do or whatever. If that makes sense?

I'm extra proud that i did it on my own and as a young parent. I can't believe people are telling her to give away the gift the universe has brought to her either. Babies usually come into this world as surprises anyway :) Not accidents...whats the difference between a surprise and an accident?

An accident is something you didn't want to happen and a surprise is something you didn't know you wanted until you got it =D

Having had him at 16 i realise that one day he is going to realaise the age gap and wonder if he was wanted...i have that answer already waiting ;)
 
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