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Staudri's Pregnancy & Birth thread.. Welcome Elijah Travis! UPDATE - New pics p.10

please let me know this can be done, and that im not crazy.....
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The little cutie on the left is 5, and her mommy was 15 when she got pregnant. At 5 she knows her letters can write her name, and the names of all the members of her family. She's getting ready for kindergarten, and is one of the best behaved 5 year olds I've met.

Her sister on the right is three so you can do the math on how old mommy was when she had her. She is also very smart. She can be fussy, but she is 3.

These are my girl’s nieces, and we get to watch them sometimes when mommy and daddy need a break. They are an absolute delight to be with, and make the idea of having a kid really appeal to me.

Their mommy was terrified just like you when she found out that she was pregnant. How reliable dad would be I'm sure was a question, and how good of a mother she would be was another. I don't think I've met a better mother. She works with them all the time, keeps a clean home, and shows them an infinite amount of love. After 5 years dad is there, and he loves his girls more than anything.

So yes, it can be done. Wanting to keep your children does not make you crazy. It's going to be hard work, but it will be very rewarding work.

In the past women having children at 16 was very common. It's only in recent years that women waited till later. Physically it might even be better for you. Your body will probably bounce back from the pregnancy faster since you're young. I wouldn't recommend women having children at a young age, but I think it's pretty shitty how people get down on young mothers. Try not to let them get to you. If you’re stressed out it's not good for the baby. I think what you’re doing is noble, and I wish you the best of luck. Keep us up to date, and share any pictures you can.
 
first off congratulations! you already sound as though you are going to be an excellent mother... you are putting your child first, and in the world today, that is more than many young women are willing to do in the same situation...
i got pregnant 2 months before my 21st birthday, at the end of my junior year of college... i dropped out... it was the exact situation my mother went through 20 years before me... and my grandmother was 16 when she had my mom... my grandmother was forced to be homeschooled because pregnant teenagers were not accepted in schools.... she raised my mom, my aunt, me, my brother and my 2 cousins and is one of the strongest woman i know...

having a baby is not easy, but it is wonderful being a parent... words cannot describe it, because those who have children couldnt possibly comprehend that feeling until they experience it for themselves... having my daughter changed my life for the better.... if i had not gotten pregnant when i did, i probably wouldnt be here right now, because i had alot of problems with substance abuse and was very very suicidal....

please keep posting on the board and let us know how everything goes! you have come to a VERY supportive forum... many have been in your situation, and you will not have to worry so much about closedminded assholes like the other boards where you posted...
 
^why am I not suprised that comment came from a man. 8( I don't think her post was intended to make people feel sorry for her - I honestly think she's just looking for support. And I'm sorry, I know that not *all* men are irresponsible, and I know a couple of guys who have becme wonderful fathers at a young age, but they do run out on their children (or at best have a distant relationship) more often than women.


Congratulations on your new baby!! While I have not yet gotten pregnant, I have had a few scares and have had to think seriously about having a child before I was ready. As long as you try your best, you will raise a wonderful son or daughter.

Lots of love and good luck to you!
 
there are many people who are responsible when it comes to sex... "accidents" DO happen.... dont assume that every female who gets pregnant was being irresponsible.... she came here for support, not a lecture...
 
staudri said:
i cant even imagine what it will be like going back to work and sending him off to pre-school...thatll be hell...
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WORK- what kind of work does a 16 year do?
 
^^I'm not sure where your going with that comment, but I worked harder when I was 16 than I do now, and young mothers often work very hard at 16.

I'm not going to tolerate stone throwing in this thread. If you've got an opinion to express about young mothers, teen sex, or anything else start a new thread for it.

staudri needs advice, support, and friends not criticism. What's done is done, and it can't be undone, so where does she go from here.
 
WORK- what kind of work does a 16 year do?
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Any kind that will give paycheck to hand,
for food and bills.

At least she wasn't planning on being one of those welfare mom's who sits around and collects a check every month.

And I'll just say this now before I get any comments about it :)
I SEE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG with public assistance from the state!
(but i've seen alot of white trash that keep poppin out more kids so the check increases)


Girl, you don't need a pep talk. You got your shit together.
Accidents happen.
God had to have given you this miracle for a reason.... right?

*shrugs*

Instead of the questions you ask yourself..... make them into comments and commands for yourself....

i.e. How will I raise this baby on my own?
I will raise this baby to the best of my ability.
 
im putting a bigole belly pic. in my gallery, it also shows the scar and staples from my surgery. i do look a little like white trash, but hey, i just got back from the hospital. i am going to try to make it with out govt. help, but if i honestly need it , im not above it. Web- i know all about you, and my sister is very supportive and is there for me to listen to all my rants. she is , for the most part, why im still sane. oh, and im a waitress, i busted my ass everyday, and was planning on working till my water broke, but my doc. told me i couldnt go back til after he's born because of the surgery. neway i really appreciate all the support and positive imput THANKS A TON to everyone! ill post again soon....
 
good luck..one thing, from someone who knows nothing about kids and a very litle about life, stay with the kid, you can always go back to education but you cant go back when your son was just a litle baby...

i wish you the best :D
 
Baby showers are so fun. I work in a daycare. I both love and loathe kids. Make sure to try and educate you child from day one. Reading, baby eistein/bach/mozart etc, puzzles, stuff like that. I hate parents who just give their kids a stuffed animal and a ball and tell them to have fun.

You are adorable and if you child looks anything like you, he'll be a gorgeous baby.
 
dark_lord said:
WORK- what kind of work does a 16 year do?
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I work and I'm 17. I have a good job were I could bing my kids if I wanted to and if I had them. I earn 7.10$ an hour but that beats minimum wage which is 5.15$ and hour. 16 year olds can get jobs too you know.

Leave the girl be. At least she's doing something.
 
shit , i make 2.13 an hour, and my checks are only about 20 bucks after half is taken out in taxes... but i make alright tips, and its constant money if i need something right now , and not wait for a week....it does suck , but there really arent that many great oppertunities for me...
 
Staudri
Good luck darling. My mother always says that parenthood is both the hardest and most rewarding of life's experiences. This would definately be such a scary time for you, because it all lies ahead. When it seems overwhelming, just try to live a day at a time. Hold your head up and get through each little challenge. You can do it, even though it won't be easy.

And i would really really recommend that you look to professional help. Either take some parenting classes, or if you cannot, then go to the library and get out some books. It's free, and if you have enough patience to read, then i'll bet you'll learn some valuable things.

take care
ox
 
staudri: There's a lot going on in your life right now, but just wanted to say that there are a lot of programs that will allow you to further your education while providing childcare. At this point you might not be as focused on your school/work as much as your child, but the more you are able to make with a career right now, the more you'll make in the future. This is probably a good time to look into fields that will enable you to study and work while you care for your child.

It's a difficult job, but I was recently inspired by an undergrad that worked with me. She became pregnant with her son when she was 13 and in the foster care system. She raised her son, mananging to keep both herself and him within the same foster care household, and eventually got into college. Her grades enabled her to have full tuition paid for college, and she's worked enough and made the grades to do well for her and her son, without any father in the son's life or without a full time family to support her. I think about her when times are hard and I'm feeling pissed off, because if she can do it, we all can. There are resources out there for anyone that knows how to access them, and though waitressing might work best for you know, you should begin to think about your future and what career will enable you to provide best for you child and for yourself (i.e., won't drive you crazy!)

:)
 
You sound like your very mature for your age! I really admire you for going through so much and still deciding to keep your baby! You are definitely making the right choice! And Don't worry, you'll be a great Mommy! Just stay strong and keep your head up Girl! Your son needs you more than anything in this world. Good luck with everything and congratulations!!!
 
I just wanted to say I am so proud of "my" bluelighters in this thread... you have all really impressed me the outpouring of support and practical advice you've given. Not that I'd expect (or tolerate - thanks 64tf) anything less ;)

I don't have any personal experience or wisdom to impart to you staudri, but by the sounds of it you'll be fine. In crisis, we all generally rise to the challenge, whether we think we can or not. Self-doubt is inevitable, but millions of girls just like you have done it - and done it well - and so will you. It's amazing the inner resources you'll find.

Grief, tragedy, birth, death, new love.... Life deals us strange cards sometimes. These were yours, and you'll work it out. There's an exciting journey ahead of you.

You're about to experience the greatest love known to mankind :)

Please keep us updated.
 
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