Staudri's Pregnancy & Birth thread.. Welcome Elijah Travis! UPDATE - New pics p.10

[MissTwitch]

You can do this

Girl you sound like you really have your shit together for a 16 year old.
You may be scared as hell right now, but you can do this. Just reading your posts and how much this baby means to you already I can tell this.

Here is me last summer....SCARED SHITLESS....

No, I am not 16, but was 22, and working at Hooter's waitressing, living with my mom, and the father heading out to Iraq.

By no means is this going to be easy. It is the hardest thing you may ever go thru. But hell, if I can do it, anyone can You really sound like you have yourhead on straight, and a great group of support around you. Jsut remember that when you need more support this is definitely the place to go.
I was so scared when it came down to actually having my son. But you know what, once it happens, it is just so natural, and so beautiful. It will be done before you know it, and that amazng little boy will be in your arms.
Do you get any assistance right now?
Atleast check into getting WIC. I am so thankful for wic, my son had a protein allergy and was in the hospital at 5 weeks, and then was on formula that was 24$ a small can, he couldn't have the regular 11$ shit.

I just have to be the proud mom that I am and show you a few more pictures.

When I got depressed and cried and was so worried all I could do was stare at this pic and realize he was soon to be with me...

The day I came home from the hospital ....

and him now....

well 5 weeks old first...

and now recent ones....

*sorry like I said...a proud momma*

Good luck doll....and if you ever need to hit me up, I am always here to listen and have felt your worries

 

[staudri]

he is PRECIOUS!!!! that ultrasound is amazing! my doc. pointed out my babys 'boy parts' and my mom was like " no, ur going to have a girl, a dropdead gorgeous girl whos gunna act just like you". im looking foreward to everything kicking in , and naturally figuring it out. my doc. said i am ful term now and could go into labor any minute, so im a little anxious. i got to see my baby brother being born august 01, and i never thought i would be doing that, but i guess ill be fine, all i think is that a zillion women have done it , so can i.... i know its not gunna be fun, and im probably gunna hate life for a few hours , but i know its worth it. ill post when i go into labor before i go to the hospital.

 

[PoetessAurora]

Where do you live?

 

[Web]

...and my mom was like " no, ur going to have a girl, a dropdead gorgeous girl whos gunna act just like you".

Be careful... "The Mother's Curse" WORKS!

 

[PsylnseR]

You show incredible amounts of concern for the well-being of your own child ... thats enough to make a good mother.

 

[staudri]

im terrified my child will put himself in harms way, like i did alot. part of that was the fear to tell my mom what was going on. my thoughts on it are that kids are going to experiment with sex and drugs no matter what you say, and id rather my son feel open enough to tell me "mom, i've been seeing so&so and we have been talking about having sex" that way i could arm him with knowlage and condoms if need be , whereas when my mom found condoms/birth control in my room she took it, and i lied to her about where i was at or what i was doing, i would rather know what hes doing so i can know hes safe and instead of "im going to the...uhh...library" i know where hes really at and whats going on. Also i hope that he will feel open with me enough that if hes in a bad situation will call me instead of being scared of the consecuences, because many-a-time i would be waaay too fucked up and in a very bad situation and just wanted to come home , but i was too scared so i just stayed ...i dunno, i just i home ill remember how it is and how he needs my support, not saying "hey , thats great, go get drunk and laid!" but id just rather know then him do it behind my back and get himself in a world of shit like i did.....i know i still have alot to figure out, but i hope he wont be afraid to come to me with issues like that, because i never could....does ne1 else feel this way about their kids?

 

[wanderlust]

Be careful... "The Mother's Curse" WORKS!

shut up!

lord that would give me four more girls exactly like me...

i dont think it worked, exactly, in my case.. i had a boy, yet hes just like me in some of the worst ways
damn her

 

[MazDan]

Yep, that is exactly how i would raise my kids.

It means you have to start at a very early age by having very open communication between the two of you.

One of the best ways of achieving this is to never ever judge your child..........Parents who judge there kids tend to create that distance between them.

I was the same as you..........I would not tell my parents anything.............why???.............because I didnt think they would understand and there answer would have been that i was wrong and that was that.

Instead of punishing your child for doing things wrong, u need to instead be able to discuss them so that the child understands that it wasnt right but that its cool...........and the child can learn from this.

Look, this is a really in depth subject and to be honest I cant do it justice in just a few words but you get the gist.

Anyways thats how i feel.

 

[batty]

Got to say I've never been credited for instilling sanity before...

I guess there's a first for everything.

Audrey, you seem to be putting yourself into a worrisome state over things that are at LEAST 12 years away. If you must worry, start applying it to more immediate dilemmas, rather than things that will happen when the boy reaches puberty. Remember, you've got to keep him alive that long!

I would suggest beginning to think about attending community college, researching local charity organizations for things like child care (which you'll be needing when you go back to school) and supplies, etc. You might want to consider improving your relationship with the father. The point is these things are pressing and immediate, while worrying about the first time he gets drunk is not. Do your best at the beginning and you may be surprised later. Contrary to the available evidence, not all teenagers are juvenile delinquents. Let me reiterate that at least some level of higher education (if only an associate's degree) and the job training/searching a college will supply you with are crucial to the quality of life both you and he deserve. Start investing some of your energies in that direction. Fortunately, there is quite a bit of funding available for single mothers to attend college. Look into it.

That's enough for now, love you.

Oh, and obviously you know you've got my support whenever and however you need it... And, honey, that ain't chopped liver!

 

[star_beats]

I think it's good that you're getting yourself prepared for these things.

It may all be a long way off, but once the baby is here (which appears to be very soon!) you won't have time to think about these things in depth.

I respect that you're making these plans. From past experience, I have found that people who have mothers that are closer tot heir age seem to have a much closer relationship to them- as long as they haven't had a fucked up childhood. From what you have been saying it seems that your child will have a decent childhood.

Don't listen to people who tell you that 12 years is a long way off. Plan for the future and you will ensure your child is brought up with stability.

xxx

 

[staudri]

well, shes allowed to. and these are things floating around in my head, not my main concern right now. but i am going to some kind of school, i wanna be a paramedic, a laywer, a mortician, and president so imma need some schoolin.....mmmmm chopped liver ......

 

[crystal-tiara]

i'm sure u'll make a good mum. hang in there.

*sigh* i was 17 when i went for abortion.. it still hurts when i think of it

 

[doofqueen]

ahhh well you see having a nine year old (which is half way to 18 mind you...i scare myself shitles everytime i think of that) i've been worrying about drugs and sex being issues soon too. I mean in five years he will be 14yrs old already and that is so fucking scary its just not funny!

I would like to think that we have a very open and close relationship though and that he could come and ask me anything he wanted because he knows i would not persecute him. After all i've taught him to have his own thoughts and feelings and that the world is his playground and he should explore it which means to ask questions. So hopefully i will be someone he can come and ask quetions to *crosses fingers*

You really can't tell hey. All you can do is raise them to be beautiful people and make sure that they know you will be there for them if and when they need them without persecution...the rest is up to them really

 

[m p o]

I now exactly how u feel... I had my baby girl when I was 16 = - ]~...

Here’s my story… it’s little lengthy... but non the less relevant info…

It was apparent from the get, that I was not ready for a child… At that moment in time, all I cared about was getting out of my house and being wit my poeple… who at the time, felt more like a family then my own flesh and blood… I was definitely not in a position to take care of another human being, let alone my self.. I was 15 and completely irresponsible… So one of the biggest steps I had to make, was grasping the fact... that a severe lifestyle change was in need… I had to fly straight… and I had to do it quick.. To a 15 year old boy who’s favorite things are money, girls, skating and drugs… This is an extreme challenge… (Something I didn’t totally grasp it till later on)… Another hurdle for me... was informing my mom and dad that they were going to be grand parents… and also informing family, friends and who ever… To tell you the truth I felt ashamed at first… I felt so small… I know my mom would be taken back... but non the less extremely excited and supportive... but my father… god damn, my father… I could not summon one ounce of motivation to start a conversation like that… We do not get along at all… He was already disappointed in me… I guess it wasn’t for nothing though… I was your typical dumb fuck, just like my older brother... At the age of 15... I had already been arrested on drug charges with intent to distribute, and multiple counts of petty theft and assault and battery... As a matter of fact, I was enrolled in mandatory NA meetings when it happened... so I always felt that my father despised me ( i guess for goo dreason)…and it was safe to say that the feeling was mutual… As soon as I told my dad… that was it… I could see it… It was like I had finally become dead to him…He told me the same thing he always told me… “You are throwing your life away”… I would usually brush it off, as I usually didn’t care what anybody’s opinion was on my life, especially his… but this time I felt the words in my soul when he said it… It was a cold empty feeling... I felt horrible… Shortly after… I became to realize... I can’t let this happen to my child… I would never want her to feel like this… I would never want my child to feel what I felt… The lack of respect I had from my father... the lack of love and compassion I had felt… That lack of communication…the alck of love... I didn't want my child being 15 and feeling like there is now were to go but the streets…. So it was at the time... I completely changed my life... I didn’t hang out with anybody that much anymore.... I got my self a real job… I was able to go and live with my girlfriend… the rest is history..

Having my daughter completely changed my life… If I didn’t have my baby doll... I’d probably be another screw up or dead…. But instead… I’ve made it to 23... and I am a proud father... I wouldn’t change it for the world…

I have worried about what if my child does the same shit that I have done... what if she goes down the same road.. well.. then I'll have to except it.. but I know she'll never feel alone.. I know she'll never feel un loved.. I know I can't change who she is as a person.. but I do have control over how I deal with it.. cause there's nothing worse then feeling that no one understands... So what ever happens.. I'm going to do my best to make her feel I will always understand... (even when I don't)


I see that You have a good head on your shoulders though… I think this child is in good hands... best of luck to you and yours…

keep it real..

- p

 

[star_beats]

just wondering whether staudri has had her bubba yet??

I'm assuming thats why she hasn't been around for a bit....

 

[PsylnseR]

im terrified my child will put himself in harms way, like i did alot. part of that was the fear to tell my mom what was going on. my thoughts on it are that kids are going to experiment with sex and drugs no matter what you say, and id rather my son feel open enough to tell me "mom, i've been seeing so&so and we have been talking about having sex" that way i could arm him with knowlage and condoms if need be , whereas when my mom found condoms/birth control in my room she took it, and i lied to her about where i was at or what i was doing, i would rather know what hes doing so i can know hes safe and instead of "im going to the...uhh...library" i know where hes really at and whats going on. Also i hope that he will feel open with me enough that if hes in a bad situation will call me instead of being scared of the consecuences, because many-a-time i would be waaay too fucked up and in a very bad situation and just wanted to come home , but i was too scared so i just stayed ...i dunno, i just i home ill remember how it is and how he needs my support, not saying "hey , thats great, go get drunk and laid!" but id just rather know then him do it behind my back and get himself in a world of shit like i did.....i know i still have alot to figure out, but i hope he wont be afraid to come to me with issues like that, because i never could....does ne1 else feel this way about their kids?

In some situations you cannot be a friend AND a mother so don't try.

The best trick to make a someone feel safe and able to talk to the parent is , DONT MAKE A BIG DEAL ABOUT EVERYTHING.
A lot of my friends have annoying mothers who you can't say anything to because you will just get an annoying lecture.

you will always get ONE SHOT, one cue for something.. always take interest, but dont over exagurate it.

 

[high_n_br]

im due on may 22nd a

that is my fiance's birthdate so YAYYYY....anyway, congrats. i was 16 when i got pregnant as well. i had her when i was 17 so i know what walking in your shoes is like. i am still with the father now. it was such a shock to even find out i was pregnant, i think it is for most. i got some shit too about my age but you know what??? those are the cards you were dealt and i think you are playing your hand nicely chick...pe@ce

 

[L O V E L I F E]

Happy Mothers' Day.

Being a parent is certainly challenging, but you seem to already possess the most important quality needed to succeed as a parent:

Making being a good parent your number one priority.

Good luck.

 

[staudri]

nope, im still pregnant, i got 13 days til my due date. i had my baby shower yesterday and had alot of fun...ill b sure to let every1 know when it *finally* happens

 

[beanpoophead]

happy mothers day!!