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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

So my detox starts tomorrow. Going to need some support.

Ummmm, at my highest I did 240mg in the morning and 200mg at night. I did this on day 2 and 3 when I first stopped the tea as well as day 2 and 3 after I fell off. Yesterday and the day before, it's been 240mg in the morning only. Not much taper there at all haha.

So my last dose was 240mg about 28 or so hours ago.
 
Ah. 440mg down to 240mg then off. Yeah it's gonna hurt. Did you run out of Codeine or were you just sick of waiting and wanting to dive right in? If you really have to do 60mg morning, 60mg night for a day, 30mg twice the next day, then off and just tough it out. TBH you're probably as well just toughing it out cold if you can. Probably ain't gonna seem like it's taking much of the edge off anyways at that kinda dose. Hang in there fella. Rooting for yer.
 
Yup, I just ran out. No plans to get more, nor do I have a ride into town or money so I'm just gonna tough it out. It's not like I haven't already been in pain for the better part of the last 2 weeks, this will just be the crescendo. I was tired of dragging it out anyway.
 
Good luck shady - you CAN do this. We are all rooting for you. Vent here as much as you need to, but know you will get through this, and it will not last forever <3
 
to the op,I feel for you guy,my 2 cents worth is instead of trying to tackle the whole idea of wd's why not just concentrate on the worst aspect of it that bothers you the most and see what otc drugs will be able to help you out,you say you got some codeine,hang on to that.
I'm doing wd's from sub at the moment but Do sub because of a bad opium habit,whatever bothers you the most about wd's tackle that and the stuff thats neg. won't seem so bad,sometimes its tough being the david and wd's is your goliath
 
Just an update while I'm still able to function... Things have taken a pretty bad turn over the last few hours. I had to take a gravol to keep from puking and I've been back and fourth to and from the toilet 8 times in the last three hours. I know I need to keep my fluids up while I have diarrhea but I can't stomach anything at all. My pain is an 8/10 pretty much everywhere, head, legs, arms, back and I'm breaking down already... I've been crying for no reason and I'm feeling pretty unstable right now. This is waaay worse than any Codeine withdraw I've ever felt before, there's no way this is just from the Codeine. I don't get it... I really wasn't expecting today to be that bad but fuck, it's bad.

EDIT: I just puked something fierce and I feel a million times better after that.
 
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shady4091 said:
Well this is the longest I've gone without anything in a looonnggg time and I don't feel the sickness yet but it's in the post. That's for sure. ;)

It's gonna be a long few days...
Click to expand...

trainspotting is not a good movie to watch when tryin to get clean lol

man i cant imagine doing what your doing. with that small amount of codeine your body or mind has to be fucked constantly. and you started this what 2 or 3 weeks ago? have you been feeling shit this whole time?i cant remember shit my time is a blur now and all i clearly remember is this past week.

your out of money and drugs? so this is it for sure? no immodium or tylenol pm or anything? i've done it before. i had weed and thats it. i had to make myself wake up at like 5-6 AM for work and thats the ONLY way i got to sleep. i did it another time cold turkey but had ambien at least. i vividly remember every night laying there watching that 70s show at 2 am then taking ambien and smoking weed till i passed out. fuckin sucks but it gets better pretty quick. day 2 and 3 blow but after that its better every day.

i got my own PAWS bullshit to deal with now. those days blow layin around watchin tv then 5 PM comes around and you realize you haven't left the house in awhile or moved from the couch. try your hardest to clean, fix something, fold clothes, etc. anything that gets you moving will make you feel better. just do pushups and make an exercise routine if its all you got. your gonna need it and it helps a ton.
 
Well it's 7AM and I haven't slept a wink. If there really is a hell, I'm there right now. Tonight has been a seemingly endless routine of throwing up, diarrhea, getting incredibly thirsty, drinking a glass of water, and throwing up again. To be completely honest I've NEVER thrown up from withdraw before, I have a very strong stomach and I dread puking so I won't do it unless I absolutely have to. I've thrown up 6 times tonight already and I can't fucking deal with this shit. I can handle the pain in my legs, arms, back, hell even my fingers are cramping up but this nausea and vomiting thing is something really terrible. I've taken 200mg Dimenhydrinate and it hasn't done shit for the nausea. I have no Loparimide and no more weed. I was expecting a moderate Codeine withdraw but this is so much worse than ANY withdraw I've ever experienced before. I guess it's just the sheer length of time (fourish years) that I've been on opiates, and going to nothing even just from Codeine is going to be pretty terrible. I'm sooo fucking tired but sleep is just not happening, like I'm not even coming close to sleep. I'll lay there, under the blankets, over the blankets, half-blanketed, sweating profusely, freezing cold, kicking and squirming. I had to get up to write this before I went fucking mad.

But anyway I'm making it my fucking mission to get another bottle sometime today. Fuck this cold turkey shit, I have neither the will power nor the sanity to handle another two days of this shit. Although I have been feeling pretty shitty since I started (13 days ago), it was NOTHING compared to the last 24 hours...
 
48 hours totally clean... I was actually able to get a couple hours of sleep after writing that, and this morning gave way to a break in the nausea, THANK GOD. I'm still in a hella lot of pain, and I'm still going to get another bottle of Codeine today so I can do a proper taper.

How did I do this to myself? It's hard to believe the absence of a chemical in my body can cause so much agony... I've just read through all my previous posts and they're all filled with such contradiction. I've gone though 2 bottles of Codeine trying to taper and failing, so why do I think I can do it now? Truth is I just want the relief. Last night was worse than anything I've ever experienced. I thought I'd experience "real" withdraw before, but obviously I hadn't. Going from the seeds to the Codeine, even though at the time I thought it was shitty, was NOTHING compared to going from the Codeine to nothing...

I also wrote this sometime last night.

Falling along with this ball and chain
resistance and distance to feed me the pain
Believe me when I say that I'm not to blame
it's a lie forged by someone under my name
delusional bullshit, a sick sick brain
By this time tomorrow, they'll call me insane
I can't shake the feeling I'll never be the same
but it's always been me, so I can't complain
 
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Sorry to hear you're having a tough time Shady. Your posts remind me of why I don't like going cold turkey and don't think it's a great method.

The times I've tried it or were forced into a few days of it have been some of the worst of my life. The intenisty of the horibble feelings stays with me and I feel more apt to use after going through bad WDs. It's as if it was so bad that now I feel like I need opiates! With tapering, even though there's inevitably going to be points of feeling crappy, it was always just feeling moderately crappy. It's not unbearable and it makes me cognizant of what opiates are doing to my body, but it's not sooo bad that I feel like I have to use again.

Good luck though man. I know you mentioned you didn't have any more loperamide (Immodium) but that is always clutch. Acetaminophen is pretty decent to help make muscle aches and cramps a bit more bareable. I also like to take a multi-vitamin during WD since I'm not eating or drinking very much. Additionally I recall reading that your body is low on magnesium during WD, so I would take Calcium + Magnesium supplements. Maybe by this time next week you'll be posting about how you're clean and starting to feel back to normal! :)
 
Yeah, cold turkey is not the way to go for me. I scrounged up enough change and caught a ride into town with a friend to pick up another bottle of Codeine. I did a pretty big dose (360mg) just to get fucking fixed. Seems like every time I take a step forward it's quickly followed by two steps back. With the exception of today however, I'm going to taper properly this time god dammit! Third time's the charm... Maybe... I don't even know what I'm doing anymore really... I NEVER would have guessed getting off the Codeine would be this fucking hard...

On a lighter note, I've been off the tea for one week now. Or another way of looking at it, I've done it once in two weeks.
 
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Shady, you can do it. Reading through past posts and seeing what didn't work in the past is a great way to work out what will work this time. You've got so much determination, I know you can do this! <3
 
what are your plans for after this is over? do you have a job or anything to go back to or are you with your dad for the duration?

the physical seems like hell when you cant sleep, but really its not too bad compared to when you have nothing to do, lots of energy, trapped in your own mind, etc. i'd start planning that now plus it will give you a goal to look forward to. if you make it through physical your gonna feel amazing for a week or 2, like your feeling true sobriety like you haven't had in so long. its like a high in itself. but it levels off after some time and most days are good with a few shit thrown in there. take advantage of that week or 2 you'll have feelin great. it will make you feel much better that you seized that time instead of sitting around becoming depressed and miserable with cravings stabbing your brain.
 
Shady, you need to stop taking such high doses. Seriously. All you've done is trade your poppy habit for a Codeine habit, but hey, you know that already, so I won't labour the point. The idea's to be comfortably withdrawing, not maintaining. You need to start cutting hard and fast and put up with the pain. Aim to have tapered off completely within 5 days max. I feel for you fella, I really do, but you're stringing this out way too long now and it's gotta be killing your will to continue. I'm surprised you've made it this long. Must have a set of balls on ya! ;)
 
I know man, I know... It absolutely is killing my will to continue. Especially over the last few days, I've been thinking that maybe I'm not ready to do this... I've put up with so much shit already yet I don't feel like I'm any closer than I was before I moved, other than the fact that I'm not getting "high" anymore. I've been questioning things over and over and I actually feel like I was much happier before I moved, while I was still using. I just really don't know anymore...
 
Course you're doubting, and course you're thinking you were happier using. That is no doubt absolutely true, because you're bloody miserable right now, but that's the pain talking to you. Remember why you decided to quit in the first place? Cos you're sick of it, right?

You have only two options. You can either go back to using, and all this suffering you've gone through will have been for nothing, and you'll still have 5 days of pain to deal with at some unspecified point in the future when circumstances might make it even harder for you. Or, you can bite down hard and summon up a supreme effort of will from somewhere and fuck this thing right off out of your life forever. Don't give in to the despair you're feeling. Get angry with it. Don't let it fucking beat you man.
 
I first felt WDs from opiates in fall of 2005. I been back and forth from using to maintaining on sub to being clean to using again. Largely it's been oxycodone, heroin, and suboxone.

I'm just over 2 weeks from my last taper dose and about 10 days since I last felt WDs and I am feeling soo much better and happier now that I got over the WD hump! You can do it Shady and it'll be so worth it! Things seem miserable during WD and at points it feels like you're never going to get better, but I just want to assure you that you will! :)

The drugs will always be there, the chance to be young and free of addiction will not.
 
Shady, you can do it man and you are doing it for all the right reasons. There is no one right reason on wanting to get clean, the wanting to get clean is the reason itself. It seems you are doubting yourself now but I know for a fact if you were to go clean for one week, at the end of the week you will not be saying "fuck, I really shouldn't have stopped using". It will be quite the opposite.

I am in a very similar situation to yours and PST is my drug of choice. I successfully quit using it about 6 months and got clean for a week but then relapsed and have been using ever since. But I know now that it is really time to stop and tomorrow starts my journey. Bluelight is a great support tool while in withdrawals. I just resurrected my old thread of when I quit.

Goodluck Shady, I can tell you are very genuine about wanting to quit. I can tell by your posts you want it. You will get it, but you are going to have to summon some great strength to do so. I know you can do it.
 
^ Thanks dude, really appreciate it.

Just an update, I "gave in" again last night but not really. I went to the store to buy seeds but to my dismay (but absolute delight today) they were sold out. Guess someone up there likes me and I can't stress enough how happy I am about that today. I was pretty bummed yesterday but all-in-all it was definitely a good thing. I'm ashamed again but I'm not going to whine about it. I'm super happy I didn't get any.

I've been tapering my Codeine by 40mg a day and on this taper my last two doses will be 80mg on Monday and 60mg on Tuesday and then off. I'm hoping this proves to be more effective than before. I'm feeling quite optimistic today even after that slight hiccup last night.

Killing time by cleaning and changing the strings on my guitars and attempting to learn the harmonica, but failing miserably haha.
 
Hey Shady, I was goin through a similar thing last week but with a weaker Opioid agonist, I fell off the wagon yesterday. Gona have to start again tomorrow :-(

Cleaning is good, I found myself cleaning everything last week - toliets, kitchen, u name I cleaned it. Found it very satisifying and kills time real well.

Stay strong mate.
 
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