So my detox starts tomorrow. Going to need some support.

[shady4091]

So I've been on poppy-seed tea now for a good year and a half. I've posted here before trying to quit, quite unsuccessfully but I finally decided enough was enough and I moved out of the city. I moved back into my dads place in the country where I can't get anything no matter how bad I want it. I brought enough with me to keep me from W/d for a couple days and tonight will be my last dose. It's about half as much as I would normally do as I've been trying to taper a bit this last week.

So I've got roughly 24 hours from now till I start to get sick, and I'm pretty fucking scared. Last time I detoxed was about 8 or 9 months ago, and my use has almost doubled since then, so I'm expecting it to be quite a bit worse than I experienced last time. I've got a bottle of 200 8mg Codeine tabs and about 30 200mg Serequil pills to help me out and that's it. My dad (or anyone else for that matter) does not know what I will be going through, I'll have to just say I've got the flu and I've got no one to talk to so I'll be posting here as often as I'm able to.

Would really appreciate your guys support!

 

[Fixed5217]

from one current detoxer to another, you got an ear here man pm me or something

 

[Larson0]

i went off poppy pod tea by force at one point and it only took about 5 days for me to feel better. this was heavy heavy use too. every day i woke up around 9-10 with the horrible feeling, walked out for a smoke, watched some bs on tv, cried for no reason, etc. i worked at this time and it sucked and i also had to move which blew. every night i was up till 2 am watching that 70s show till i took a few ambien/dxm/immodium/etc.

i think you should tell your dad whats goin on. he is family and eventually will come around and try to help you. your gonna be getting up at all times of the night and he will know something is up.

you can do it though. that first day you wake up though and feel good is going to be heavenly. i remember after my poppy pod withdrawal (had no money and job closed so i was waiting on an unemployment check) i woke up one day, got that check after weeks of waiting, and got high again. but that day i felt so good just because i was clean and it was the first day i woke up feeling normal and wasn't forced awake from withdrawal. i fucked it up in about 3 hours though so w/e

im at 10 days clean now from a 14 month suboxone taper. i've detoxed cold turkey probably 5-7 times before and i really wouldn't do it again. that initial 500 dollar appt and 120 appt and 200 a month script monthly was worth it to me. i didn't have any bad withdrawal symptoms and my doctor gave me the meds i needed (clonidine is #1, valium is #2)

maybe hit up and ER or clinic or anything and try to get a script for clonidine. it will help immensely when you try to sleep.

you can do it though. let your father know whats goin on. and remember keep moving forward. nothing good will come from being an addict. dont let some bullshit that happened in the past ruin tomorrow. i've been writing my thoughts down at night on a pad of paper/journal. it helps esp for sleep.

you'll do fine with those codeine tabs and serequil. as i've understood serequil knocks you out and codeine will be a good taper plan. you wont have a bad time with codeine just make sure you use it to taper and dont get high on it. give it to your dad to ration to you. seriously.

good luck buddy. be kind to everyone you meet because everyone has they're own fucked up problems. also nobody has been posting in my thread about my detox and it sucks. i really could use support from recovering addicts but im not getting it

 

[brighton]

yay good for you!
Im recently off my painkillers and feel much better
Getting some loperamide would help.

 

[shady4091]

Thanks for the posts guys!

Larson, how long were you using pod tea before you quit? I would love to tell my dad everything but I can't bear to go through that scene, my sister was all messed up on drugs for a while and ended up going to rehab. I'm supposed to be the "good" son, the one who never did anything stupid like hard drugs. It would crush him to find out something like this and I'm so close to the end now that I just don't think it's necessary. A week from now it won't matter anymore. I don't need anyone to ration me Codeine cause no amount of Codeine will get me high anyway. I've taken upwards of 300mg when I've run out of seeds and it barely even makes a dent in my withdrawal. It's really more about the placebo effect for me. Just to know that I am getting a bit of opiate in my system. And yes, Serequil is awesome for knocking me right out and it doesn't give me the restless feeling that diphenhydramine does. It's also fairly good for anxiety. Not as good as benzo's but that's not really an option for me. Like I said, I'm in the middle of NOWHERE, with no vehicle, an hour away from the nearest pharmacy or hospital.

As for the support thing, maybe we could help each other out? I know I'm not going to be as much help as others but I have been through PAWS before, it's what got me last time I quit. You just gotta take it one day at a time. Don't think like you NEVER do it again, that's just too overwhelming. Just wake up everyday and say you won't do it that day. And finding a cure for the boredom is a number one priority. Now that I know what to expect, I think I'll be much better off. That coupled with the fact that even if I do get overwhelmed, it's not like I can get anything out here anyway.

And yes, I'm cursing myself for forgetting loperamide >.<

 

[Larson0]

i think i did pod tea for over a year, maybe 2. mixed with methadone and roxi 30s when i could get them but for awhile it was just tea which i liked. iwas an addict from 2006 till 10 days ago though. i tried rapid suboxone detox and it worked okay but the real thing that helped was getting used to not using a drug or chasing anything. 14 months of just taking a tab twice a day and never feeling sick or anything really breaks the habit of drug abuse.

tell your father. this is a huge part of your life you will never forget and he is probably one of the closest people to you. he may get mad or upset but it has to be done and he can support you.

a week from now is when it will suck. your physical wont be too bad. your mental of wanting to prepare that tea at the same time every day and easy access to it (you can always get it if your that desperate) will be tormenting.

withdrawal is the worst thing ever. on my last ten days i've done everything from starting a garden to excersize to fixing my car etc. anything that can keep you busy and exert the energy you dont have. it will make you feel much better. i think my second day i was out doing errands working on my car in the sun etc in florida sweating like crazy for 9 hours until i finally got home to sit down. then i was able to go to sleep around 11 because i was so tired. your gonna need to do stuff. people say get some dvds and watch them but thats bullshit. i cant sit still and watch reruns of the simpsons and that 70s show and seinfeld when im dopesick even though im so tired and weak its all i want to do. need to be active in the time you cant.

the pain you will feel will be weakness leaving your body. prepare mentally for whats to come though is all i can say. good luck and i urge you to come clean with your dad

 

[Carl Landrover]

i think i did pod tea for over a year, maybe 2. mixed with methadone and roxi 30s when i could get them but for awhile it was just tea which i liked. iwas an addict from 2006 till 10 days ago though. i tried rapid suboxone detox and it worked okay but the real thing that helped was getting used to not using a drug or chasing anything. 14 months of just taking a tab twice a day and never feeling sick or anything really breaks the habit of drug abuse.

Just be careful in the coming months. I remember feeling similar after being on suboxone for the same amount of time (14 months). After that long of a stretch I was generally out of the scene, didn't have connects, and was ready to get back to a life without dependency. About 4 months after I completely randomly ran into an old friend on our college campus. He was middlemanning dope for other students/suburbanites. After that initial meetup it took another 2 months before my use once again spiraled out of control.

My point with this is that developing a strong support base and developing healthy hobbies that you enjoy while being clean is going to be key if you want to avoid going back to using. Temptation and relapse are unfortunately never too far away. Congrats on getting clean though! That is not easy

 

[Sepher]

Larson, those first days when you realise that the pain has properly stopped and you actually feel half-human again are the best aren't they? It's important not to forget the feeling, or how bloody pleased you are with yourself those first few days. With time, the pain of the detox becomes lessened in your mind when compared with the pleasure you might get from just having a little treat, just for today, cos you deserve it and now you've beaten it you can go back to being recreational with it again. Never works like that in my experience.

The mental grip lasts a looooooong time. Ten years on I still occasionally have frustrating dreams about scoring, cooking up shots, trying to fix but failing, and sometimes wake up wondering why I'm not rattling, or even if I might be. I always ask myself WTF did that come from, but there's never an obvious trigger, it's just what my brain does to keep itself entertained when I'm not there to keep an eye on it. I never, ever genuinely crave though, never really did after the first few weeks once I was back sleeping again and piling on weight and looking good for it.

It gets easier, but like Carl says you must find something to replace it. I was out robbing all day, every day to afford my habit, scoring late at night only to have to do it all over again the next day. That fills a hell of a lot of your time. You need IMO to have something properly rewarding and fulfilling you can devote almost as much of your time and energy to as you gave the habit, not for ever more; just have to do it for today. Let forever worry about itself.

You too Fix. Best of luck.


Shady, the codeine? Codeine phosphate 8mg? Not mixed with anything like paracetamol? I did my easiest rips on 30mg tabs, taking as few as I could comfortably stand without actually taking enough to hold off the withdrawal, increasing the dose slightly day 2, day, 3, than rapidly down over no more than a couple of days past day 3, which is usually the worst and then you've broken the back of it, improving rapidly day 4 through 5. They really helped with the worst symptoms the first few days, and I was sure to have cut them completely by day 5-6. Made it very bearable, though still shit as you ever wanna feel again, obviously. It's doable man. Sometimes difficult to believe that when you only ever see other addicts around you who've not managed it yet, but that's cos you don't see the ones who have. They bugger off and leave that circle and find better things to be doing with their lives. Get something to help you sleep the first coupla weeks cos it will take time for you to really sleep without any, and just stick with it, tough it out. Everything starts getting better in all kinds of ways from then on, honestly. Keep in touch, let us know how you're doing, yeah?

 

[shady4091]

Yeah, it's Codeine phosphate, and yes they have acetaminophen and caffeine in them but I will be CWE them. I've got my Serequil which should counter the caffeine so I can still get some sleep hopefully. I plan on only taking it at night with maybe a small dose in the morning if I feel too bad. The worst part right now is just the waiting. I'm ready to just get this show on the road so-to-speak.

I've never actually hung out with other addicts. None of my other friends use opiates at all, and none of my friends know that I use opiates. We're all drug users recreationally (mostly weed), but I'm the only one who has an addiction. It's been my dirtiest secret for the last year or so, and I need to get it off my back already. I left all my friends as well as the love of my life behind to come out here to the middle of nowhere and do this for myself. I told them I was coming here to work out on the oil patch and just save money so I could go to school, which is true but it's not the real reason, if you know what I mean. I'll definitely be keeping in touch. I should start feeling shitty within the next few hours. *Scared*

 

[Fixed5217]

I know how you feel, opiates weren't my addiction though i would have used them much more had I had access. The withdrawal i've had from the combined insane amount of alcohol/other gabanergics put me on a rebound that did not let me sleep for 3 and a half days. I'm still withdrawing but can make it from here without the meds, I'm just glad to have lost some of the horrible feelings and can handle malaise and a few shakes, and other symptoms that pale in comparison to my initial horror.

The sooner you go through with it the better, use medicine to counter effects as needed, but be careful not to trade addictions. The double edged sword of my withdrawl or any really is being prescribed your DOC, benzos for me. And the last thing I need right now is to go that road again...yea it hurts but, it's totally worth it. I mean I've used everything, but I can't stand to be a slave to anything.

O and I came completely clean to my father...it was the most tremendous weight off of my back, he literally had no idea. The benefits are only beginning to unfold as it tore down an invisible but yet present wall in our relationship, and strengthened my support base. I might even go so far as to say that it's probably the root of my support at the moment.

Temptation will always surround you, I hate that mine is present in nearly every inch of this globe, but the reality is that it's no different for any other thing. I wish you the best man, it will not be easy, but it will be completely worth it.

 

[herbavore]

Good luck, shady. I hope that the anticipation is worse than the reality for you in the next few days.
I'll be thinking of you and sending you healing thoughts for what it's worth.

 

[shady4091]

Thank you everyone for the warm responses. I'm feeling pretty gross today for sure, and it's really just the beginning. Sore legs, upset stomach and pretty bad chills. I took 240mg of Codeine last night along with my sleeping meds and although I was able to sleep it was a very restless one, waking every couple of hours. I'm going to try and hold off as long as I can today without taking any more Codeine but I really don't know how long I'm going to make it.

 

[Fixed5217]

hang in there man, i found that trying to do something to take your mind off of the symptoms really helped me. Having to sit and wait in the hospital was the worst part for me. and sitting is still agonizing, i have to keep moving...even on a hurt ankle. just focus on how you will feel when it is over, or do whatever you find keeps your mind occupied

 

[shady4091]

Well it's been about 48 hours since my last dose of PST, and 24 hours since I started withdrawing. I took another 240mg of Codeine about 4 hours ago and I'm thinking that's a bit too much. I really don't feel that bad, not nearly as bad as I should anyway and I think I'm really just postponing the real symptoms by taking too much Codeine. That and the amount of Caffeine I'm ingesting with that dose (450mg) is making me very uncomfortable. The worst symptoms I have right now are hot flashes, cold sweats, and restlessness. I'm also EXTREMELY bored and I know I should do something but at the same time I don't feel like doing anything. I'm going to knock myself out pretty quick and lower my Codeine dose tomorrow by maybe half. Sweet dreams bluelight.

 

[effie]

Good luck

I'd take an antihistamine with that sized dose of codeine - I definitely think lowering it is a good idea. I know you don't feel like it, but see if there is anything you can do to distract youself - maybe something involving minimal moving, like watching a film? Or if you are feeling restless, go for a walk?

Keep going - you're doing so well!

 

[aveoturbo]

Shady- Seriously, if you talk to your dad about it, you will probably have a much better chance of getting through this alot better than doing by yourself with the help of the forum. Yes the forum can be a great tool, but, not everybody here can help you out when you will need it the most. At least with your dad, he can help distract you and probably help you feel emotionally better about yourself. Overall, its your choice and I (and I think I speak for the forum here) wont judge you for it and its a great step that you are trying to kick your habit. Keep up the good work! I just want to see you go thru this as smoothly as possible having dealt with w/d's myself. My wife was amazing to me when I was having my issues. Its nice to just have someone there who is not "virtual".

My heart goes out to you

 

[shady4091]

Thank you all for letting me vent here, you're all too kind! I had a hell of a time falling asleep last night even with 400mg of Serequil in me. I woke up today feeling extremely bad and gave in to another 240mg dose of Codeine, although it doesn't seem to be doing too much today. The pain has started. My head, my teeth, my back, and legs are all aching pretty bad even on top of the Codeine.

This is the longest I've gone without taking any tea since the last time I kicked some 8 or 9 months ago, but I'm finding it very hard to even be proud of myself. It's really hard to see any light at the end of the tunnel right now. I've started craving and thinking about it a lot today and it's comforting (yet also frustrating) to know I'm safe out here in the country and will never be able to succumb to my cravings. I gave in and told an old friend of mine last night. She was shocked to say the least, she really had absolutely no idea but she's being very supportive so at least I have someone to talk to besides the people on the forum.

 

[Sepher]

Shady, I've never used poppy seed tea but assume withdrawal will follow a similar time-scale to Heroin. IIRC 240mg codeine was about as high as I got - maybe 300mg day 3 then cut really fast so as not to prolong things. You don't wanna go higher than that - try to do less if you can. It's not gonna be enough to cut all the symptoms, and you will have a good bit of pain and feel generally shit for a while yet, but by my reckoning you're about 48 hours in. You're about at the peak of the symptoms right now. In another 24 hours or so you should find things start to improve rapidly, and you can start cutting the dose. Hang in there, you're almost there. Keep reminding yourself why you decided to quit in the first place. You're sick of being a slave to the cravings you're having, and you're doing this to be rid of them right? There's your light at the end of the tunnel.

You might find even with the Serequil you don't sleep tonight, cos you're pumped up on Noradrenalin, made worse by all that Caffeine. If you dose up too high on sleepers you'll maybe still not sleep, but will make the lethargy and grogginess worse. Your body's already at a low ebb energy wise. Sometimes better to resign yourself to a long night so you don't feel worse tomorrow.

Hang in there, keep tough.

 

[shady4091]

So now it's been 72 hours since my last Poppy Seed Tea dose and 48 hours since I started withdrawing. My last (and only) dose of Codeine today was roughly 12 hours ago and although I don't feel very good physically, I'm feeling optimistic. After tomorrow I should be able to start tapering my Codeine dose and then I'll be home free Spent the last few hours watching the last few episodes of Breaking Bad Season 4. I can't stress enough how awesome that show is btw. I think I'm gonna make it! Goodnight again, bluelight.

 

[shady4091]

Just another update. (Sorry if I'm being annoying :S) Last night was the worst sleep I've had yet, and this morning was the worst I've felt so far (but it's also the longest I've gone between doses of Codeine). I'm feeling a bit better after my dose (280mg today) but I'm quite discouraged now and feeling like I'm never going to get better. I'm so fucking tired of waking up sick as as a dog and I dread the night time more than anything. There's nothing worse than violently tossing and turning all night desperate to kill a few hours with some sleep. Everyday it's the same shit. Wake up sick, dose some Codeine and be so fucking bored I want to off myself (figuratively speaking of course). I'm in a COMPLETELY opposite mood than I was in last night and my mood swings are violent to say the least. I know this is becoming more of a blog thing so feel free to shut 'er down. I have nothing more to say anyway...