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So my detox starts tomorrow. Going to need some support.

aveoturbo said:
My wife was amazing to me when I was having my issues. Its nice to just have someone there who is not "virtual".

My heart goes out to you :)
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true that. if i was alone it would have been so much harder. having my girlfriend there to help me or whatever was huge. she is messy so she would make a mess, i'd clean the house. it gave me an activity, took my mind off the sickness, and gave me a slight adrenaline rush.
but you wrote you did come clean, and that was the best thing you could have done. when my girlfriend was in bed and i was sitting alone reading BL waiting for anyone to respond to my post it was hell.
 
shady4091 said:
Just another update. (Sorry if I'm being annoying :S) Last night was the worst sleep I've had yet, and this morning was the worst I've felt so far (but it's also the longest I've gone between doses of Codeine). I'm feeling a bit better after my dose (280mg today) but I'm quite discouraged now and feeling like I'm never going to get better. I'm so fucking tired of waking up sick as as a dog and I dread the night time more than anything. There's nothing worse than violently tossing and turning all night desperate to kill a few hours with some sleep. Everyday it's the same shit. Wake up sick, dose some Codeine and be so fucking bored I want to off myself (figuratively speaking of course). I'm in a COMPLETELY opposite mood than I was in last night and my mood swings are violent to say the least. I know this is becoming more of a blog thing so feel free to shut 'er down. I have nothing more to say anyway...
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you need a blog thing. i wrote about 20 full pages in my time just my thoughts about my past, present, feelings, future, whatever. i wrote how i was watching my cat stalk a bird and he was gonna catch it (it got away)

you need to get that shit out of your head. its therapy. write it all out. all the things you wouldn't tell you closest loved one. i told my girl she is not to look at whati write down. its my own private thoughts and who knows what ill write there. its a journal for me only and to get my head clear when it is so bad feeling was what i needed.

lol, look out AA religion. internet support seems to be the new thing. who hasn't detoxed and made a thread about it?
 
^^^^
Thats a great idea I started a journal about a month ago and it has been an awsome to put my thoughts on the paper it has really given me some insight into my life.

OP hang in there man you are doing great the worst should be nearly over.
 
i actually feel kinda shit right now. i've been taking immodium and took my last one yesterday and after standing for 12 hours my calves and sore as fuck, headache, chills, stomach cramps. wtf?
 
hey guys, just wanted to tell everyone to hang in there, i'm approaching a week of withdrawal...I still feel like crap, sleep around 4hrs a night to wake up drenched with some of the most horrible nightmares, getting all these rebound hypersensations which are annoying given a recent injury. I'm trying to taper my ativan, but have to take it still to get on with my day...i've established a good support base again which is helping me get through this. It's like I see light at the end of the tunnel, but i don't have depth perception yet. I'll have to yet up with my doc about this and see how he feels about the usage of gabapentin to get off of these benzos(which i like and hate--i just want to be free again.

recommendation to all--blow the nutrition side of this out of the water i.e. eat overly healthy and take multi-vitamins; pound fluids and juices as well, and as hard as it is try a bit of calisthenics. That was painful, but it was really worth it for me...few endorphins; some hot peppers have helped as well.
 
Thanks again to everyone for the support, it's been fantastic! I've been killing time today by singing at the top of my lungs and it feels great. I haven't sang in such a long time. I'm also going to hang out with a friend pretty soon, so today might not be such a bad day after all. :)

I wish everyone here the very best, and no matter how bad things seem, just remember, they could always be worse. And if you feel like you've hit the bottom then you have no place to go but up!
 
Just came over to this thread to give you a little support and when I read that you were singing at the top of your lungs I got a good laugh! Yeah for you!=D<3
 
Glad to hear todays going well. Im currently detoxing on my own much like you. Its good to see theres other people in a situation like mine. Best of luck! keep us updated
 
shady4091 said:
So I've been on poppy-seed tea now for a good year and a half. I've posted here before trying to quit, quite unsuccessfully but I finally decided enough was enough and I moved out of the city. I moved back into my dads place in the country where I can't get anything no matter how bad I want it. I brought enough with me to keep me from W/d for a couple days and tonight will be my last dose. It's about half as much as I would normally do as I've been trying to taper a bit this last week.

So I've got roughly 24 hours from now till I start to get sick, and I'm pretty fucking scared. Last time I detoxed was about 8 or 9 months ago, and my use has almost doubled since then, so I'm expecting it to be quite a bit worse than I experienced last time. I've got a bottle of 200 8mg Codeine tabs and about 30 200mg Serequil pills to help me out and that's it. My dad (or anyone else for that matter) does not know what I will be going through, I'll have to just say I've got the flu and I've got no one to talk to so I'll be posting here as often as I'm able to.

Would really appreciate your guys support!
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Good luck my man I wish you all the best I'm about to go through a detox myself...how are you doing now?
 
I'm 72 hours into the withdraw and it's been 96 hours since my last dose of tea. It sounds silly but I'm very much looking forward to when I start can measuring by days instead of hours, then weeks instead of days. Today during the day was a breeze as I was hanging out with my friend for most of it. We smoked some of his home grown, and shot off his .22 at some targets. But like fucking clockwork, as soon as I got home I started feeling sick again. To make matters worse I forgot my phone in his car which was my only connection to my g/f (I never actually memorized her number) so I'm feeling quite lonely as well. And now I have the headache from hell and I'm going to try and get some sleep. We'll see what tomorrow brings... Goodnight.
 
Funny you say you were singing. since i started being sick i've been singing constantly and blaring music as loud as i can


i feel pretty shit still. out of immodium so my stomach is fucked, neck is really fucked, legs ache, etc. out of valium too so i know its depression and stuff from that. here we go.
 
Only a few more days Shady then you're officially allowed to start measuring in weeks, and then before you know it it's months, and then years. :)

And the singing and loud music thing. Anything you can rinse a mood lift from, and squeeze every last drop out of however many endorphins you've got swimming round you is good, ain't it? ;)

Been looking forward to your daily reports. Hopefully tomorrow will be a good one for you.
 
Larson0 said:
Funny you say you were singing. since i started being sick i've been singing constantly and blaring music as loud as i can
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LOL, I actually noticed that last year and this year when I was going through WDs. I suddenly have more of an urge to pump up the volume and start singing.

At points of feeling real sick I can remember wanting to yell out as loud as I could just because. Trying not to suppress the voice inside anymore I guess.


I'm a few hours past 6 days since I last took a tiny bit of sub, about 7.5 days since I last took a small amount of morphine, and about 8.5 days since I last got high on oxy. Feeling TONS better =D


I'm a pretty strong believer in the healing power of hallucinogens. I took a few tabs of acid this weekend and I think it helped a lot with positively altering my outlook now that I'm just past WDs and basically starting over again.
 
I broke down and took a bit of Codeine last night (200mg) for my headache which I believe was actually not related to the withdraw. I've had withdraw headaches before and this was simply worse than any withdraw headache I've ever had. I do get migraines from time to time they feel exactly like that but still, I didn't want to take any more Codeine but at the same time I just want to get rid of it now. I believe I'm basically just trading high dose Morphine withdraw for Codeine withdraw (low dose Morphine withdraw?). Either way I've gone through Codeine withdraw before and it still sucks but it's not NEARLY as bad as a cold turkey withdraw from the seeds. There's not even any vomiting or nausea involved.

I slept like an angel last night and it was wonderful, although I had a dream about finding a mother load of poppy pods which had me craving when I woke up. I'm also finding myself waking up way earlier than I usually do. On the seeds I'd sleep almost the whole day away and now I'm up at 9am every day. Normal people time I guess haha. I'm feeling pretty damn good this morning physically, a bit of stomach cramps and that's it. Psychologically, my mood is still all over the place and I believe I'm in for another very boring day.

Carl, I also believe strongly in the healing power of psychedelics and some acid would be wonderful if even just to get that reminder of what life is all about :) Unfortunately it's hard enough to find in the city never mind way the fuck out here in farm country.

Want2Change and Larson. Just remember; and I'm here for proof of it, that it get's better pretty quick, especially after the 3rd day. Even though I know how hopeless it feels on day one and two, the best thing you can do is prepare for the worst and hope for the best. Stay strong guys!

Edit: I just realized how many times I said "withdraw" in my first paragraph. Subconscious? Hahaha
 
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So its been 5 DAYS since my last dose and 4 DAYS since I started withdrawing :) Today was almost completely painless after my Codeine dose although I feel slightly ill at the moment. Maybe a 3/10 on the pain scale. Not too shabby. Other than the extreme boredom and mood swings, I have nothing to really complain about. I even ate something today, and was able to stomach drinking a beer. Tomorrow will be my last dose of Codeine (180mg) and then nothing. I am, however expecting to withdraw from that for a couple of days though. The price I'm going to have to pay for a semi-comfortable taper... Hot bath, then bed. Goodnight.
 
Congratulations on getting this far! :D You've done so well. Almost through the withdrawals <3
 
shady4091 said:
So its been 5 DAYS since my last dose and 4 DAYS since I started withdrawing :) Today was almost completely painless after my Codeine dose although I feel slightly ill at the moment. Maybe a 3/10 on the pain scale. Not too shabby. Other than the extreme boredom and mood swings, I have nothing to really complain about. I even ate something today, and was able to stomach drinking a beer. Tomorrow will be my last dose of Codeine (180mg) and then nothing. I am, however expecting to withdraw from that for a couple of days though. The price I'm going to have to pay for a semi-comfortable taper... Hot bath, then bed. Goodnight.
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5 fuckin days already? jesus christ man time flies when you think back on the sickness. in a few hours illl have 15 days. i still drink if i want and smoke weed but what the fuck sue my ass (knock on wood i dont become an alchy or pothead)

if you can get some jalapenos, eat them raw or grilled. it activates the natural painkillers in your body and wakes you the fuck up. really shocks the shit out of you at first but then you start to really feel your body battling it and endorphins kick in and you feel like you just did a huge workout

i had a shit day today. tons of leg pain, neck pain, back pain, depression, mood swings, wanted to get some benzos badly to ease my stress, etc. felt like day one all over again. serious stomach shit too. 15 fuckin days later and still this shit?
not to mention the 2 fights i got into with my girl, which i posted about in my thread, but we spent a couple hours apart on our day together then fucked and i came 4 times today, so whatever blow me.

everything has changed about me. literally. i just want to know how long this leg pain, stomach shit, neck kink is gonna last. i can barely turn my head to the left without bad pain and i dont know why. the calf pain im used to. the stomach im used to, got more immodium. but my neck is seriously fucked and never has been.

i've got less and less energy every day it seems since saturday night/sunday morning. i know it will pick up, i know time flies, its jsut times like this at 1:45 am and wide awake that i wonder when ill fall asleep tonight and when ill wake up. i was waking up early as hell and writing but it seemed to fade. now its hard to write anything down besides bullshit.

oh well. im blogging in your thread. i know reading this will help you though if you know someone is feeling like you are. so wtfever take it for what it is one day at a time and before we know it a month will have passed, it will be thanksgiving, ill probably announce i've had over 6 weeks sober from opiates to my family, and we will both feel much better then.

hang in there bro. if you cave i dont know what it will do to my mental state.
 
I know man, it's weird. At the time it seems to be going sooooo slow but looking back on it, that 5 days went pretty fucking quick. I woke up feeling like absolute shit today and I don't fucking get it. I'm on day 5 and I still wake up with mad leg and stomach pain less than 24 hours after a dose of Codeine, pisses me right off. I'm about to take my last 180mg and that's it. I can already tell this is going to suck... I desperately need to get out of this routine of waking up, and doing absolutely nothing with my day. I feel like this is the absolute definition of doing nothing. I'll sit at my computer listening to music all fucking day and occasionally get up and pace around my house for a few minutes. I'm feeling very very down today. Probably the worst I've felt yet psychologically. Really, just... Fuck... I feel like crying and I don't even know exactly why... Well I do but still...

Larson, does Sub withdraw really last that long? 15 days sounds like a nightmare, but kudos on making it so far. One day at a time, absolutely and no worries man, I'm not gonna cave. I hope I can say the same for you :)

EDIT: I just now realized that bluelight is helping me though my detox, and bluelight is also where I learned about Poppy Seed Tea. Funny...
 
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shady4091 said:
Larson, does Sub withdraw really last that long? 15 days sounds like a nightmare, but kudos on making it so far. One day at a time, absolutely and no worries man, I'm not gonna cave. I hope I can say the same for you :)

EDIT: I just now realized that bluelight is helping me though my detox, and bluelight is also where I learned about Poppy Seed Tea. Funny...
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i know right? BL is where i learned about pods that i used for 2 years and its my support :)

sub W/D apparently does last this long. today i didn't really have much but i still need to take immodium cause my stomach is real fucked and walking around my calves get mad tired. also i fucked my neck up somehow so the pain i get turning my head to the left is something i haven't felt in a long time. i guess i did too much exercise or something

the sub W/D is long but it is not intense. not like oxy. i had maybe 1 night of bad kicking in bed, but i also had a good supply of valium and enough clonodine for maybe 1 week which is what is really needed for sleep. valium wouldn't touch it or i'd wake up after an hour sweating and kicking my legs. clonidine was the real thing that helped me

i didn't take any time off work in my W/D and was always able to get through work. i had some shit days and times around 8 or 9 pm at work where i just need to sit down and in the downtime i need to get off my feet but its def doable. i've gone cold turkey from pods a few times and it was always horrible. usually i just sit around and do nothing except watch reruns and listen to music. this time i really motivated myself to get up and write, exercise, go to the beach, do household projects, clean the house, etc. i couldn't sit and watch tv anymore.

i thought by now it would all be gone. it is mainly mental but there is still quite a bit of physical. yesterday i really felt like shit without immodium and eventually had to take some which made me feel better mentally and physically.
 
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