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***Singles Thread*** A kit kat chunky stole my relationship!

^ +1 mofo! :D


I'd much rather date a friend. I really can't be fucked investing time and effort into a relationship with someone I don't know all that well only to find it was a complete waste of time and effort :\ That and i never really feel properly attracted to a girl unless i actually like them as a person (i.e. they are a friend) too.


In other news, I was keen on a girl. I thought the feeling was mutual. I ended things with my fuck buddy with the intention of dating said girl. The feeling wasn't mutual. Now trying to patch things up with my fuck buddy. Fun fun!
 
so what do people do when they're out and they've been talking to someone, just 'making conversation' and then that person asks them for their telephone number?

i always seem to get myself in these situations, and i usually just find it easier to give the person my phone number and then if they message, well, that's when i don't know what to do; and i usually start feeling bad cos the person seemed nice enough when i was talking to them, but i have no intention of seeing them again cos a) i was just having a random drunken chat with a stranger, b) from that chat i realised we're just two different people, and c) i'm not attracted to them. like i said i feel bad not replying to their message when they end up messaging me, but then what to say if you do reply?? 'look you're a nice enough guy but i'm just not interested'? that seems a bit harsh. i've opted for the little-more-subtle version of the above before, but that just takes too much effort to construct and i still end up feeling like a bitch anyway.

so it seems the best idea is to not give them my phone number when they ask. but then what do you say? that's what i'm interested in, what do you say?

maybe i should be a little less concerned about seeming like a bitch to someone that i have no intention of seeing again, right?
 
^^give them the rejection line.. nah thats mean haha im sure they wont think your a bitch if you politely decline (ive been told guys much prefer that than being ignored) OR you could always use the sorry i have a boyfriend or im seeing someone right now.

agreed with the only relationships worth having stem from friendships. imo thats the only way you can truely get to know someone. Sex and everything else complicates things for me a lot cos once i sleep with someone i often lose a lot of the feelings i had for them. Its weird.

I have trouble making new guy friends tho that honestly just want to be just friends. It seems from the word go theyr thinking of ways to get into my pants. i also hate dating so think i might be in this thread for a while
 
trancegirle said:
politely decline (ive been told guys much prefer that than being ignored)
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I certainly prefer this.I feel it's showing respect to the asker,plus the asker can then move on.Instead of being led on and being treated with disrespect (Especially,if the person giving the number NEVER intended to have any contact with the asker again.).




Also,I agree with wanting some girl/s I'm friends with,because sometimes those feelings develop from 'more than friends'.Basically,DiegoBlunt summed up what I think on this issue perfectly.

Die :p 'Ladder theory'
 
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drEaMtiMe*@# said:
so it seems the best idea is to not give them my phone number when they ask. but then what do you say? that's what i'm interested in, what do you say?

maybe i should be a little less concerned about seeming like a bitch to someone that i have no intention of seeing again, right?
Click to expand...

But its good that you do feel bad... in a situation like that... just be like, 'look buddy. You're a nice guy. But im drunk. and i really have no intention of remembering you in the morning' - the drunk excuse is the key.
 
I'm the opposite to Wacky. I'd rather have someone ignore my call or message than tell me straight out that they weren't interested. Who gets their hopes up when they get someone's number anyway? How crushed can his ego be?

People need to toughen up in the dating world. There's no need to be a heartless bitch but ignoring a few messages won't send you to hell.

Do what I do to nickyj and just pretend you've got no credit. =D
 
drEaMtiMe*@# said:
so it seems the best idea is to not give them my phone number when they ask. but then what do you say? that's what i'm interested in, what do you say?
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If you haven't gestured that your single already.

When they ask for your number, you can just say you don't think your partner would appreciate that. Yeah, it's a little white lie, but then they don't feel rejected. But, if they genuinely want to be friends, they will continue the conversation.

Although, if you know they want to be just friends later on, then you've stuffed up by telling a lie straight away... some people should understand though..
 
up all night said:
People need to toughen up in the dating world. There's no need to be a heartless bitch but ignoring a few messages won't send you to hell.

Do what I do to nickyj and just pretend you've got no credit. =D
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I disagree.By ignoring a few messages you are being a heartless bitch,disrespectful,dishonest,spineless,it says something about your moral character.

People need to be honest,but at the same time respectful.There is enough bullshit in the world(Politicians,the media,etc.........),how about trying to be different in the dating world.If you prefer to be ignored than be told up front someone is NOT interested,then I guess "you can't handle the truth" and "don't mind being disrespectfully ignored".
 
ValeTudo said:
How about not bringing communist politics into an already retarded industry (dating)
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Strawman,I'm NOT bringing what YOU call communist politics into this discuss.I was basically saying people should be honest,but respect towards each other in(and out) of the dating world.
 
up all night said:
Man up, Wacky.

=D
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Talk about gender stereotyping. (Plus,this isn't just about me - It's how I feel people should treat each other.)
 
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You could just ask is they have herpes (as well).

Or an old favorite:
"Hey look over there"
*runs away*

Woke up the other day and thought to myself: "God it would be intolerable to have to put up with someone elses shit all the time". I keep seeing couples that get in this horrid prison of having to ask permission todo bloody well anything. *shudder*
My current attitude combined with my astronomically high standards keeps me (happily) tucked away in the singles thread. I still enjoy the odd offer here or there but otherwise you can all just keep it*

* This poster reserves the right to change his views randomly and without warning
 
up all night said:
Who gets their hopes up when they get someone's number anyway? How crushed can his ego be?
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oh i don't know, i mean i'm pretty crazy, sexy, cool ;)

i'm with wacky, though. i like people being tactical and honest. i mean, sure, the not replying to the sms gives the same impression as replying and saying something along the lines of that you're not interested, but it also indicates that you give a bit of a shit about your fellow man/woman, no?

I don’t know... i've been in these sort of situations before and have given them my number, and then when they messaged me wanting to hook up again, i just ignored it. of course, then, as my luck would have it, instead of never seeing them again, i ended up bumping into them whilst out; and not once, but twice, maybe even thrice. and the look on their face definitely indicated that they were not too happy, jan.

anyway i ended up messaging him back (a day later) and just said something along the lines of that i'm busy but it was nice chatting to him the other night. and he messaged back saying 'mayb some other time!'. i didn't and won't message back. done. still, i think in the future i'm just not going to give my number out. maybe go for m4ddogs "hey look over there" *runs away* approach ;)
 
Wacky said:
Talk about gender stereotyping. (Plus,this isn't just about me - It's how I feel people should treat each other.)
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I'm all about the gender steretyping. I like my men to take control and the women to shut up and look nice.

I'm only going on what I would prefer, which is the silence rather than the 'thanks, but no thanks.' Everyone's different.

Wacky, you sound like you're taking it all a bit seriously. If someone doesn't respond to your message it doesn't necessarily mean they're heartless, simply not interested. Or out of credit. Or lost their phone. Or dead. Look on the bright side!
 
up all night said:
I'm the opposite to Wacky. I'd rather have someone ignore my call or message than tell me straight out that they weren't interested. Who gets their hopes up when they get someone's number anyway? How crushed can his ego be?

People need to toughen up in the dating world. There's no need to be a heartless bitch but ignoring a few messages won't send you to hell.

Do what I do to nickyj and just pretend you've got no credit. =D
Click to expand...

See I would rather this too. I would rather a guy just not return my sms's at all or not call then the half hearted sms or the call three days later or some embarressing I don't feel the same way conversation
 
^^ i think most girls prefer this but i dont know any guys that would.

I dont mean to gender stereotype but girls are better at picking up on subtle hints. guys sort of like to be told straight out. thats just how things are in the male world.

I used to ALWAYS do the ignore thing but since having it drilled into me by my housemate that its just "fucking cruel" i dont do it anymore.
 
up all night said:
Do what I do to nickyj and just pretend you've got no credit. =D
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You're such a bitch :\ Sometimes I wonder why I'm saving myself for you.


I'm with Wacky on this one. Its very rude to give your number to someone you have no intention of ever communicating with.


The ol' "Hey, look over there" / *runs away* trick has been the best suggestion so far.
 
Consider this:

Person A is shy. A has been dragged out by friends, gotten suitably intoxicated and has gotten up the courage to ask for person B's number.

SCENARIO 1:

Person B firmly tells person A that she is *not* interested. Person A feels somewhat rejected, and this feeling is amplify by his drunken state. A spends the rest of the night sitting in a corner (sans confidence) and his night is crap.

SCENARIO 2:

Person B gives A her number and says they'll talk later. Person A toddles off and tells his friends, has a few drinks, has a great night and goes home. Person A wakes up, either puts the number down to a messy night and doesnt ring, or messages/calls person B, who is then under no obligation to return the call, but is comfortable in the knowledge she brightened A's night, if just for a couple hours.

Hmm?
 
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