• 🇳🇿 🇲🇲 🇯🇵 🇨🇳 🇦🇺 🇦🇶 🇮🇳
    Australian & Asian
    Drug Discussion

    Welcome Guest!
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
  • AADD Moderators: swilow | Vagabond696

Sick, Twisted & Wrong Jokes - Part II

Status
Not open for further replies.
A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide.

The librarian says; "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."
 
Well, this is going to make things a whole lot easier when the time
comes ......
A little boy goes to his father and asks, "Daddy, how was I born?"
The father answers, "Well, son, I guess one day you will need to
find out anyway. Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room. Then
I set up a date via email with your Mom and we met at a cyber cafe.
We sneaked into a secluded room, I upgraded my floppy to a stiffy,
and then your Mom agreed to do a download from my hard drive.
"As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither of
us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete
button, nine months later a blessed little pop-up appeared and said
'You've Got Male' ".
 
0ff1cer_ch0ps said:
you can get pregnant from h4rdc0r3 cyb3r s3x???

whoa!
Click to expand...
Yeah, think about all those poor pr0n girls you've impregnated and didnt even know it :\
 
a man is walking along the beach early one morning.he comes across this woman who has no arms and no legs,she's crying.he goes up to her and asks..."Whats wrong,why are you crying?" the woman replies " i want a hug, ive never been hugged before" the man says to her, "Ok,i will".he hugs her. At around lunchtime, the mans walking his dog along the beach again, he comes across the woman for the 2nd time."Whats wrong? why are you still crying?" the woman says "I want a kiss, ive never been kissed before". the man tells her he'll kiss her. That night, the mans walking his dog along the beach and finds the woman still laying there crying. "Why are you still crying?" the woman says "Can you fuck me, ive never been fucked before" the man says ok, picks her up, throws her in the water and yells out "There you go, now ur fucked!"
 
An oldie, but a goodie!

^^ It's so nasty, but I love that joke ;)
 
yeah, ive known that one for so long...and ive always sucked at remembering jokes..but that one, as soon as i heard it, was stuck in my head
 
Q: How do you get a Cisco Certified Network Engineer off your porch?

A: Pay for your pizza.
 
Hi guys, first message on this forum, hope you don't mind me joining in to your little community here.

Awesome thread, read every post, and pissed myself a lot.

Here's a couple I don't think have been on this thread yet.

Q: What do you call 500 blacks/jews/nazis/lawyers in the bottom of the ocean?

A: A good start.



Q: What's the difference between Santa Claus and a jew?

A: The direction they go in the chimney.
 
Two men are talking in the bar sharing their sob stories. One man says, "I had the worst Freudian slip the other day."

The other man responds, "What the hell is a Freudian slip?" "You know," says the first man. "It's when you mean to say one thing, but you say something else that reveals what you are really thinking about.

Like the other day I was at the airport, and this really sexy lady was helping me. Instead of asking her for 'two tickets to Pittsburgh,' I asked her for 'two pickets to Tittsburgh." The second replies, "Oh, now I know what you are talking about. It's like the other day when I was having breakfast with my wife. I wanted her to pass me the orange juice, but instead I said, 'You ruined my life, bitch!'"
 
three rats are sitting round talking about how tough they are,

The first rat says, I'm so tough I snatch cheese straight out of the mouse trap

The second rat says, I'm so tough I drink RatSack straight from the bottle

The third rat says, well I'd love to stay and chat, but I'm going home to fuck the cat
 
At the end of a tiny, deserted bar is a huge Aboriginal bloke 2 Metres
tall and 150 kilos.

He's having a few beers when a short, well-dressed and obviously gay man
walks in and sits beside him.

After three or four beers the gay fella finally plucks up the courage to
say something to the big Aboriginal.

Leaning over towards the Aboriginal he whispers, "Do you want a
blow-job?"

At this the massive Aboriginal leaps up with fire in his eyes and smacks
the man in the face, knocking him swiftly off the stool. He proceeds to
beat him all the way out of the bar before leaving him bruised and
battered in the car park, and returned to his seat at the bar.

Amazed, the barman quickly brings over another beer.

"I've never seen you react like that", he says, "just what did he say to
you?"

"I'm not sure", the big Aboriginal replies, "something about a job...."
 
Why did the whale go to the tupperwear party?

Because he was looking for a tight seal.


Zing!


Beech
 
I heard Michael Jackson is heading down to Tasmania, they just freed two miners.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top