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Deep Sick of it all.

Captain.Heroin said:
The very worst year

So schizopath, how are you? I would say something like "how's the weather?" but I'm sure it's fucking cold over there in Finland. ;)
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Its amazing that you have pushed it through this year. That sounds honestly horrible.

Im laughing at the little abdurdism in "hows the weather". After all doesnt it take one to know one? And even then its more complex than not🙃
 
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I must have peaked in army

My death was written in the stars from the beginning
Its finally time to join the 25-club
The one that I will start
And if I fucking fail in that too
Well maybe then its finally time to start killing people
Simply cause thats what people deserve
After all my bullies in school propably thought they were helping too
"When will we learn that he cant learn?" Is the real question
After my first psychosis I have only been good in
more psychosiSS and not having a clue what the truth is
I dont really give a fuck about the truth
Most people deserve to die
Just a fact
But I still fucking hesitate it
Maybe I should just fucking wait 3 weeks
If I can
 
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To create a killer

Thoughts ran through his head. Thoughts he had already forgotten. About his past. How they had called him disabled while beating him during school. Retardet while they laughed at his ability to speak. Even his own grandma had laughed at him many times and then acted like nothing had happened. Even the voices called him names. The voices knew better than to call him a liar though. Not because it wasnt true but because as a pathological liar who had gotten a mind virus the truth was the only thing he pretty much chose to speak nowadays. Obviously the mind virus made it hard but still he tried his best. Well he had trained dozens of hours with knives, hundreds of hours with weapons and his fists. So it was time to finally manifest destiny.
The thought of brutal murders with a hammer and a knife seemed nothing more than long awaited justice.
 



NOUN Word forms:

Latin genitive Lyrae (ˈlaɪəriː ) ----------- ///////////

a small constellation in the N hemisphere lying near Cygnus and Draco and containing the star Vega, an eclipsing binary (Beta Lyrae), a planetary nebula (the Ring Nebula), and a variable star, RR Lyrae--

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Step 1 promise yourself not to kill yourself for at least a year, give it time
Step 2 do one thing at a time and you will get through this
Step 3 stop panicking
Step 4 reach out for help if I keep feeling this way 8(

Dealing with things head on. If this helps 1 person it was worth it. :|
 
schizo if you are emotionally numb or having extreme mood swings what do you do to even out

I had a hard time finding relief yesterday and... well I obviously posted shit that I otherwise wouldn't have, it was, even for my hand, extreme.... :\
 
I have personally found laughing to help extreme emotional states. =D

You can try reminding yourself that "you are not your emotions", seems to help also. In your case I cant be sure, since it seems to be more extreme, but try it. ;)
 
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schizopath said:
I have personally found laughing to help extreme emotional states. =D

You can try reminding yourself that "you are not your emotions", seems to help also. In your case I cant be sure, since it seems to be more extreme, but try it. ;)
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oh man the "you're not your emotions" is a good one. You begin to feel that way from the extreme swings and disorders and shit, but no it's just a part of me, I have a lot more to me you are so right. Thank you man.

Laughing 2 days ago was not helping in the beginning = rare and it does happen. Severe inappropriate affect.

Sometimes I can laugh and let go and really feel the good feelings. Sometimes it just feels hollow and I'm just numb/dissociated/dead/indifferent and I'm just acting out happiness for the sake of keeping others happy/entertained/educated. :\

My sitting BP is around 140-160. My HR is about 140 to 160 over 120 to 140. I have gone beyond 200 BP over (something) before with stroke-like symptoms (no illegal drugs were found in my system; didn't take RC's just medication as rx'd). Yes I know I have severe-high BP, runs in the family and I'm sure it will be the death of me if I don't pre-emptive strike Iraq.

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FUCK THEM ALL TO DEATH!
 
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