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During Gulf War 2 for a time I worked for a PSC providing armed escort for convoys driving supplies into Iraq from Kuwait.
 
StoneHappyMonday said:
I too served on a jury, was really looking forward to it, turned into one of the most harrowing experiences of my life.

Sexual assault. Won't go into detail but it made everyone question what is and what is not sexual assault. I was elected foreman. Initial vote. Three (including me) for guilty. Nine against (including two don't knows). After two days arguing, 11-1 guilty. Now, when I stood up to announce the verdict I had a couple of things in mind. One. My sister was sexually assaulted by the lollipop (school road crossing) man at 14 and he got a fifty pounds fine. (Which I was obviously disgusted at). Two. We now have this thing in UK called Sexual Offenders Register. Never occurred to me for a minute this guy would go on it. The offence was about as minor as it gets.

Result? Six months jail, seven years on the sex offence register.

Never been so torn in my life. He was guilty. But even in guilt there is grey. I do not like I sent a man to prison for this. Anyone who replies with 'you pussy' or such like has no fucking clue. None at all.

Don't ever want to do jury service again. And I have a massive sense of justice/injustice.
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Ah fuck it, as I'm going to get ignored as a newb I'll share the second case too, polar opposite almost.

Posh kid gets drunk and steals a video from an open house on his way home. (It was summer). Posh kid was white, victim was Somalian. Posh kids hires best lawyer possible (and posh kids dad turned out to be a magistrate too). The Somalian guy chased him for miles (posh kid eventually threw the video) and catches him. Now, as he was caught WITHOUT the video, rich lawyer makes 3 days of (extremely boring) defence as to why the Somalian guy could have been chasing the wrong person. Y'know, the rich white kid he chased out of his own home. And get this. On day three of the trial the case was halted and we were told by the judge it may not be continued as the rich lawyer had had a suspected heart attack. Day 4? Rich lawyer back in court looking fine and dandy and presenting more dubious evidence as to why his client may be a case of mistaken identity. I have no doubt day 3 was taken off to give the defence more time to gather dubious evidence.

Result? Obviously guilty. Initial count 1-11 for INNOCENT. It was Friday afternoon justice. People wanted to go home. I gave in and he was acquitted straightaway. Walking out of court I walk past posh boy and his lawyer. Overhearing the words "You are a VERY lucky man".

I hope it cost his magistrate daddy a fortune. Justice? Pah. The Somalian family were in tears.
 
^ this is exactly the sort of thing i've heard about jury duty, shm.
I had a sociology lecturer who recounted a similar disillusionment - and horror - with the process.
She never elaborated on the specifics of the case to me, but jury duty is one civic duty i am not keen to particpate in.

The justice system can be deeply unfair, arbitrary and has the capacity to permanently alter people's lives.
Not just dangerous, hen people who don't work in "criminal justice" fields, it can be a pretty big shock to see the machine in action.
Makes me think this is why police can be so desensitised to this kind of stuff that they end up the cold, jaded, cruel people some of us perceive them to be...
Not to say that all laws/law enforcers are bad, but criminal law is a very murky part of human society.
Having been the victim of crime, and treated like a criminal when i was coerced into filing a police report (long story, not going to elaborate) i sincerely hope to never have to work with - or talk to - police officers again.
I don't trust their motivations, their tactics (false promises/threats, outright lies) nor have I ever had faith in law enforcement to bring about 'justice'.
So much is wrong with the system as it currently exists - imprisonment rarely (if ever) rehabilitates people, jury trials are unreliable, mandatory sentencing is still pursued in too many jurisdictions - that i don't blame cops personally for being the kind of people i steer clear of at all times.
I'm a pretty law-abiding citizen nowadays, but I still have a deep distrust of police and the justice system.
 
21 years ago, I was found guilty of dangerous driving causing GBH and theft of a motor vehicle. I did have every intention of returning it to my mate, but managed to write it and 2 others off instead. Thinking I would get done for DD he charged me with stealing it to get his insurance.

My folks paid $30000 fighting the theft charge but in the end I lost my licence for 2 years, had to pay the insurance companies for the 3 cars and was ordered to complete 200hrs of community service.

I had a full time job at the time so for nearly 10 months every Saturday at 8am I fronted up to clean a church and maintained its gardens. The priest gave me flowers, chocolates and wine on my last day and thanked me for my reliability and hard work. I left there feeling proud of my eforts but still ashamed of what Id done to be there.

A few years later I applied for a job with a community organisation who had a reputation for using a lot of volunteers. It was a traineeship, walking distance from home and I wanted the position BAD! So in my application I wrote I had done 'unpaid' work on weekends at a church for nearly a year. I figured if they asked I would just tell the truth.

They never asked, it never showed up on a police check as it was a motor vehicle offence and I got the job. I worked there for 14 years eventually holding a senior position. That job paved the path of where my life is today, the friends I made, the home I built and my inclusion into this community.

It just goes to show with some positivity and a bit of creative wording, a bad situation can eventually manifest into something really awesome.
 
popeyes mate said:
21 years ago, I was found guilty of dangerous driving causing GBH and theft of a motor vehicle. I did have every intention of returning it to my mate, but managed to write it and 2 others off instead. Thinking I would get done for DD he charged me with stealing it to get his insurance.

My folks paid $30000 fighting the theft charge but in the end I lost my licence for 2 years, had to pay the insurance companies for the 3 cars and was ordered to complete 200hrs of community service.

I had a full time job at the time so for nearly 10 months every Saturday at 8am I fronted up to clean a church and maintained its gardens. The priest gave me flowers, chocolates and wine on my last day and thanked me for my reliability and hard work. I left there feeling proud of my eforts but still ashamed of what Id done to be there.

A few years later I applied for a job with a community organisation who had a reputation for using a lot of volunteers. It was a traineeship, walking distance from home and I wanted the position BAD! So in my application I wrote I had done 'unpaid' work on weekends at a church for nearly a year. I figured if they asked I would just tell the truth.

They never asked, it never showed up on a police check as it was a motor vehicle offence and I got the job. I worked there for 14 years eventually holding a senior position. That job paved the path of where my life is today, the friends I made, the home I built and my inclusion into this community.

It just goes to show with some positivity and a bit of creative wording, a bad situation can eventually manifest into something really awesome.
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Wow I wish I had your luck!
 
I love this ? x

PS Your parents sound a lot like mine maybe...mine thought if they spent enough money on good lawyers they could "buy" me a noncustodial sentence. God bless them for trying but money can't fix everything.
 
chugs said:
Wow. So technically you can be using opiates and still be on active duty? I can appreciate that the physical and mental pain of combat could easily justify the continued use of opiates.

To be frank I don't see it as an addiction anymore, to opiates that is. In my researches I've discovered that the physical "withdrawals" of opiates isn't a an addiction mechanism. Its simply pain and discomformt that is caused by the activation of TL4 by the metaobites of heroin - M3G. See heroin is metabolised into two substances; M3G and M6G, the latter being the one that gives you the high whilst the other was, up and until recently thought to have no affect on the body.

What an aussie scientist discovered was that M3G actually activates the TL4 receptor (and more then likely other TLx receptors). TL4 is normally activated when your sick/hurt. TLR4 in turn causes the production of proinflammatory cytokines which are responsible for inflammation, fever, restless leg, depression, anxiety, pain - basically imagine what you feel when you have a terrible flu - that's TL4 doin it. So imagine if you disabled TL4 or if you took an opiate that didn't result in the creation of M3G. Well you would have an opiate experience that wouldn't result in the production of proinflammatory cytokines and thus you wouldn't feel sick when you stopped using the drug. Which is the number one reason why users habitually take opiates. Because we're trying to stop the withdrawal effects.

Anyway i deviate. That's amazing the IDF allows you to use.

This is very interesting.


Hopefully this information may lead to effective treatment for opiod withdrawl.
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something interesting about me

On April 27 2008 I was lighting the fuse on a home made explosive when it detonated.
I lost 3 fingers and my eyesight.

Since that day I have been totally blind.

I navigate the net using a screen reader.
 
Ashley said:
I was a hardcore daily polydrug abuser by way of the needle for over 10 years. I have not had a shot of heroin, methamphetamine, or anything else for that matter in well over 6 months.

A <3
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Thanks for the supportive messages spacejunk, SixBuckets, Lil Snickette and Piscesgirl81 they mean a lot. I plan to start spending more time actively posting on Bluelight again, now that the "trigger effect" isn't so much of an issue. I've been around this place for a long time now and although I don't post a whole lot I still feel like AusDD is a home away from home - without it and the support of the Bluelight community, I doubt that I would be here typing this.

I just wanted to add to my original post that I am now around 16 months abstinent from intravenous drugs! That means no illegal drugs at all, by any ROA.

Also, I just celebrated on 1st July 2016: 12 months since I last consumed an alcoholic drink, after drinking for 15 years. :)

I am still on opioid maintenance therapy: Suboxone 4mg. I am still prescribed a benzo for anxiety: Lorazepam 1mg b.i.d. But for the first time I am taking both of these medications as per the prescribed dosage and route of administration, and I've been rewarded with both medications working very well for me. The buprenorphine is keeping me from being sick and supressing any cravings and is so subtle in its effect that I'm not nodding off during the day as I would be on methadone. The lorazepam again seems to work reasonably well as an anxiolytic without much sedation or inhibition. Being completely honest with my GP and doing the "right" thing ended up really paid off, we have formed a great rapport and at each appointment its obvious how proud he is that I have accomplished what I have. As he will tell you, we have a huge problem with mental health and drug abuse in my region and it is rarer than you would think that he has witnessed genuine successful recovery stories. Finding a decent GP in the first place is the challenge. By complete chance (fate) I finally found a genuine doctor that was willing to work with me, without judgement, open to my ideas and didn't expect me to jump through ridiculous hoops to retain my Suboxone prescription. In saying that, 80% of the battle was being completely honest (something I wasn't used to being with doctors, for obvious reasons :)) in asking for help and showing him that I was willing to put in the effort. But by far the majority of GPs, and more specifically psychiatrists that I have met have been shockingly bad. I remember walking out of my most recent adventure with a psychiatrist before the session was over after he suggested that I start taking Naltrexone for my drinking, proceeded to write out a prescription, all the while telling him that I was taking Suboxone daily and had been for years and was pretty sure that would be contraindicated and that I would suffer precipitated withdrawal to which he said "No, no that's not the way it works at all." and this little beauty when I asked for a script of Valium to help deal with ceasing drinking: "Oh, no I can't do that - Valium isn't prescribed any more. Its considered an old and "dirty" drug. How about we try <insert obscure *new* experimental anti anxiety drug instead?" Umm, how about no?! :) I worry for all the poor people afflicted with mental distress that end up blindly trusting some of these quack medical practitioners.

I do intend to conquer my opioid habit and stop taking benzodiazepines - but I'm taking it one step at a time. Patience really is a virtue.

I used to mix up my 8mg Suboxone strips towards the end of my IV usage and was having multiple 4mg shots daily of the vulgar smelling goopy orange liquid. Reusing old fits, way many more times than I would ever admit - and doing a half assed job of filtering the solution with a cotton (instead of picking up free micron filters at the exchange 10 minutes away). Just generally not giving a fuck.

I still had a raging opioid habit and had just found out that the girl that I had been engaged to for 7 years was sleeping with someone else. I had lost everything, and was living back at Mum & Dad's house, sleeping on the couch, broke, nearing 30 years old. I was at my lowest low. I started getting chest pains on account of whacking up bupe films, for the first time my veins started collapsing, I could feel my heart beating in my ears whenever my heart rate would raise slightly, I was having difficulty breathing and I pretty much felt like I was rapidly killing myself.

After pushing the limits with these substances (mainly heroin and methamphetamine intravenously), drinking spirits heavily off and on since 15 years old, recklessly abusing alprazolam to such a ridiculous extent that at one point I was taking 20 odd 2mg tablets twice daily, to stave off withdrawal, I suffered around 10 tonic clonic seizures (or grand mal seizures) as a result of the shock of detoxing from such a high dose of Xanax when we couldn't get any or enough..

To be perfectly honest, after everything that I've been through I am so so very surprised that I am actually alive. I never thought that I could or would ever be free from heroin and its malignant, festering, desirous appetite for self destruction that chips away at your soul until there is nothing left. I feel like if I can do it, then anybody can do it. I know just how clichéd that sounds, but I really truly mean it!

To anyone out there who is trapped in the perpetual, undignified, soul destroying, sadistically addictive Adults Only merry-go-round, that we call smack. Please don't let that flicker of hope that I know you cling to deep inside, ever become snuffed out by the monotony and misery of your present situation.. There is an out. There is an alternative. I never believed that to be true. But it is. I am here as proof of concept.

A. <3
 
^ that's a very inspiring post, Ash.
I can relate to the degradation, but also the empowerment of recovery.
I'm fairly proud of what i've accomplished, but from what you've managed to do - that's super impressive mate.
Great work :)

vision conquest said:
On April 27 2008 I was lighting the fuse on a home made explosive when it detonated.
I lost 3 fingers and my eyesight.

Since that day I have been totally blind.

I navigate the net using a screen reader.
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Far out, that's rough. We used to have various screen-reading technologies in a place i used to work in, for students with vision problems.
How the screen reader go when you are browsing bluelight?
 
Congratulations on your transformation, Ashley :) some great inspiring words of wisdom there mate. I wish you continued success with the ORT and using the lorazepam as prescribed. Definitely no easy feat by any means for anyone to achieve after a good 10 years on the wagon! It's great to hear you have a decent GP as well - they're few and far in between unfortunately and can really make the difference between a successful story or failure.
 
I think this thread should be split into two social threads to be honest. I really like this thread and its created a lot a posters which is fantastic to see. And its also good following up some people "things about me" I enjoy reading that also. But that said tbh I have and can continue to see it going off path with more posts being conversations about the thing the poster has said... Just a suggestion Mods, imop it would be better to keep this one on track the way it was made.. So posting a new thing even once a day whatever one wants... And obviously certain things will grab the attention of some members and having another thread for those interested to discuss, and for the ones not interested in that particular person "thing" doesn't have to filter threw all the replies too and from.
Not trying to play mr bluelighter who thinks his mr mod haha just thought it may be something to consider?
Good work with this thread too mods. As you intended its brought a bit of spark back into AusDD
Cheers
A.T
 
Hey spacejunk, it was rough, 20/20 vision one day totally blind the next.

It took quite some time to come to terms with it but now I have and am very happy with the quality of my life.

Screen readers these days are very good, the one I use is a free one so it's not quite as sophisticated as the ones you pay a lot of money for but it does what I need it to.

When it comes to navigating BL it seems to be very accessable for me, whenever I go to a new site it takes a while for me to familiarize myself with it, now I am familiar with BL it seems to be nice and smooth to navigate.
 
I can't think of anything really interesting to say unless I engage in some kind of dialogue, perhaps then a discussion would lead to realisation of some sort.

However I will say hi, I'm new here.
Nice to meet you all.
 
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