Dear Splatt,
You and I spoke nearly everyday for 3 years. I have been really upset and crying off and on today, after finding out. You were a reckless moron, but always had something kind, outlandish, silly, or insightful to say. You spent thousands of dollars on international phone calls to me, which now I realize you were probably so very lonely; by choice, and generally. Any topic that was brought up you and I would write nonstop. Whether it be classic roman history, politics, phenethylamines, synthesis, hypothesis, harm reduction and so on. I know you were a ticking time bomb, but I guess in a way I always thought you would break the mold. Maybe if you really understood how many people cared for you, admired you to a degree, there would have been a chance you might have changed you mind. Ultimately though I know this probably wouldn't have made a difference. You were so amazing, when you werent heavily intoxicated (by your standards). I remember one night we were LOLing hardcore, watching the youtube videos of aboriginals huffing gasoline, but switched gears to talk about nichols seamlessly. You trapped yourself in a drug prison, when we spoke you knew it was destroying your mind and body but I guess knowing and doing are two different things. I could tell the subject bothered you, and you were ultimately running away from any emotional or physical issues you had, but it still breaks my heart. Any time I was down or just wanted someone to talk to you'd always be there to distract me from my thoughts. If someone was kind and respectful to you, you seemed to be the same. You scared your friends all the time, with your ridiculous antics but were never ungrateful for the concern. You'd just do it again, though and that was a pain in the ass.
You know I loved you bro, I cracked open a bottle of wine for you, cheers my mate, I'll see you in the next life.
A million xox
Take care and be gentle with yourself for the next time.
Love,
Jenelle
PS- You sick bastard for this april fools business. When I see you, I am going to punch you so hard in the arm.