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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Ready to Kill Myself

Jackie makes an excellent point, Jagged....

The last thing you need is Coke in your system. You're already at such a low emotional state, why add to it when the coke wears off? Your will to continue to live should not hinge on the idea of indulging in a drug. Your will to live should hinge on the fact that you are STRONG and you will live to see better days. You're so young and have so much to live for (I know it sounds cliche' but it's so very true). Fight the battle, prove your inner demons wrong, and be a success.
 
OH GOD i know this feeling more than you know! Like why should I LIVE? BECAUSE THE FUTURE IS THERE. and even though it deosnt' seem like it will ever exist, good time will come! FOR EXAMPLE, i'm gonna move to San Diego soon and get hammered with you on a beach, but srsly im moving there soon....
 
Fuck! I called my mom to try to tell her I love her (even if she put me & my fam through bullshit) & she just fucking yelled & clicked on me. Why would I wanna live in a world where my own fucking mom would do that shit to me
 
jaggedpills said:
I don't even know what is worth living for anymore... I need to get away from everyone & figure myself out. Its like everything is caving in around me & I'm stuck in the middle :(
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Getting away from your normal environment can be a great way of working out which issues are really yours and which ones are generated by those around you - and I'll guarantee that being away from your parents' issues will benefit you.
 
yeah, antidepressants helped me out a lot, but sometimes my life does just seem consumed by pointlessness...
 
jaggedpills said:
Sorry hilake :/

& I'm sure at least 1/3 of my issues is cuz of other peoples shit
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And when you can't physically escape it, you escape it in other ways. For me that was alcohol, for other people it's a different drug.

It's taken me until age 50 to realise that people bringing their dramas to my life is reason enough to disengage from them. I wish I'd realised that 30 years ago - I'd have spent a lot more time and energy on my own life instead of wasting it on other people's dramas.
 
Yeah, lexapro was horrible for me, i just take sleeping pills now. moderate ones so i dont fall asleep, but they make me feel better
 
I always try to help other people with shit, sort of as a way to avoid my own bullshit. Which probably just makes shit worse for me because now I deal with my crap & theirs
 
FUCK A MOM I know it seems like talking to them might work but they never listen! hey live in you're own world and do what you got to do to survive
 
I tend to keep it simple when I'm feeling my worst. Drink a lot & smoke more... But I havent done shit in 2 days :/ not a long time, but the hardest 2 days ever
 
Self medication is not the answer to your problems. You will just reinforce your negative feelings with narcotics. Cocaine will just give you more anxiety and flight of ideas. There are plenty of sources to help you. You are not the only one that feels this way. If you feel the way you said please call 911, go to the ER, or contact the numbers provided by the moderator. No one needs to know about your personal life especially your family. You are medically protected by HIPPA and PACO laws.
 
jaggedpills said:
I always try to help other people with shit, sort of as a way to avoid my own bullshit. Which probably just makes shit worse for me because now I deal with my crap & theirs
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I've done that myself. There've been many times when I've been putting more time and energy into other people's problems than my own. It's amazing how peaceful my life has become when I've disengaged from those people and how much less emotionally exhausted I've been.

And antidepressants are of limited use if the underlying causes of your depression remain unaddressed. Think of them as a bridge to stability rather than as something which actually create contentment.
 
Lolie said:
And antidepressants are of limited use if the underlying causes of your depression remain unaddressed. Think of them as a bridge to stability rather than as something which actually create contentment.
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That is true, my underlying cause is still there, I just cant bring myself to talk about it with my therapist... :(
 
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