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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Ready to Kill Myself

The worst is the prescribed addictive antidepressenents! switch to MARIJUANA! Or others! THE pills given out by the GOV piss me off royally!
 
I really want to try to figure shit out before I got to the ER.

How am I supposed to know what the underlying cause is if I can't get away?
 
How are you sure that was the first thing to fuck you up? Ive gone through so much shit, I dont know where to start. I probably have to work through all of my issues too, not just one. Fuck. Just dealing doesnt have the same effect as actually working it out though, huh? :/
 
yeah, I feel like anyone I respect enough to talk to about it doesn't deserve to be dirtied with my past.
 
jaggedpills said:
I really want to try to figure shit out before I got to the ER.

How am I supposed to know what the underlying cause is if I can't get away?
Click to expand...


underlying cause of what? can't get away from what? sounds like they are both related. you are obviously intelligent enough to question the problems you currently have so talking about them will give you nothing but answers or at least some guidance.
 
Underlying cause of my depression & self mutalation/hatred. If I cant get away from people that are making more problems for me than I can already handle, how am I supposed to be able to fix myself & know what problems are souly mine?
 
jaggedpills said:
How are you sure that was the first thing to fuck you up? Ive gone through so much shit, I dont know where to start. I probably have to work through all of my issues too, not just one. Fuck. Just dealing doesnt have the same effect as actually working it out though, huh? :/
Click to expand...

You don't always need to. Therapies like cognitive behavioural therapy can teach you strategies for dealing with depression and anxiety without having to delve into what created your distorted thinking.

For a lot of people just learning those strategies and changing how they think about themselves is enough and there's no reason for them to seek longterm, traditional psychoanalysis (which can be extremely counterproductive for many people anyway).
 
I feel like I can't fix whats wrong if I don't know exactly what it is that is wrong... How can I learn srategies without a shrink telling me I'm crazy?
 
If you find a half decent therapist, they will not tell you you are crazy, and will help you through your own issues.
 
Remember the advice you gave me sweetheart?
Please, you are a very wonderful person. You gave me help when I needed it, and you don't even know me. Already you have more heart than most other people.
I may not know you but I love you very much and it would hurt me to see you give up.
<3
Please keep living.
Be thankful for the opportunity given to you.
Take advantage of it and spend time getting to understand the world.

Pain and happiness are only temporary conditions.
This too shall pass my friend.
Feel free to message me.
I am here for you with open arms and ready to listen.
 
jaggedpills said:
Underlying cause of my depression & self mutalation/hatred. If I cant get away from people that are making more problems for me than I can already handle, how am I supposed to be able to fix myself & know what problems are souly mine?
Click to expand...

You can start by facing the reality that your problems are not apparently entirely soley yours. They are caused or at least triggered by significant others in your life. Therapy is an amazing process and no medical professional will tell you you are crazy for the way you think. Have you even sought therapy yet?
 
your life is just going thru a downward point, your young you have not experienced the vastness that life can bring.
people change your mind changes
your life can be much worse, you could be diagnosed with a terminal disease or see your mothers skull smashed in so bad that she died instantly.
im pulling for you death is not what you want or need.
your actions could influence someone else,,, a neice, a family memeber a freind........
 
Most of my family doesnt give a shit... & yeah, ive seen 4 therapists, none of which worked out. I suppose its time to really face my demons, try to pull it together.
 
blessedamines said:
your life is just going thru a downward point, your young you have not experienced the vastness that life can bring.
people change your mind changes
your life can be much worse, you could be diagnosed with a terminal disease or see your mothers skull smashed in so bad that she died instantly.
im pulling for you death is not what you want or need.
your actions could influence someone else,,, a neice, a family memeber a freind........
Click to expand...

That is a very surreal reality you mentioned. Some things in life are worse than death. Death just eliminates the deceased from existance. But the impact it leaves on those who are still living is the most important aspect to be taken into consideration. My best friend dying in a motorcycle was upsetting, but watching his 1 year old son throw flowers on his casket as it decended into the grave at the burial was the worst.

"The greatness comes not when things go always good for you. But the greatness comes when you're really tested, when you take some knocks, some disappointments, when sadness comes. Because only if you've been in the deepest valley can you ever know how magnificent it is to be on the highest mountain."
Richard M. Nixon
 
jaggedpills said:
Most of my family doesnt give a shit... & yeah, ive seen 4 therapists, none of which worked out. I suppose its time to really face my demons, try to pull it together.
Click to expand...

If nothing else, set some boundaries with your parents so that their chaos has less impact on you. Don't let either of them use you as their confidante during their marriage drama. That's what their adult friends and professional therapists are for and you have every right to refuse to listen to either of them venting about the other.
 
I couldnt do that to my dad. I'm his closest friend. I know that if I needed him he would be there, I have to be there for him, even if my own life is on the fritzz
 
Then if you have that relationship with your father let him know whats going on and he should immediately try to help you in any way possible. If not seek therapy from a neutral source such as a SW, MHC, or MD. Parent's dont always know whats best and sometimes frown upon their precious children having a psychological disorder but that doesnt mean they are right. You ultimately have to take care of yourself in life.
 
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