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Ready to Kill Myself

I cant sleep and Im clean...what's my excuse? If you dont mind have you been DX'ed with anything? Have you read anything on Cognitive Behavior Therapy?
 
Basically it is based on the premise that although we originally learn irrational behaviors from significant others during childhood, we create irrational dogmas by ourselves. We do this by actively reinforcing self-defeating beliefs by the processes of autosuggestion and self-repetition and by behaving as if they if they are useful. Hence, it is largely our own repetition of early-indoctrinated irrational thoughts, rather than a parent's repetition, that keeps dysfunctionsl attitudes alive and operative within us. (Corey 2009)
 
CBT's goal is to change the client's subjective views of themselves and the world by teaching them the coping skills to deal with their problems. Especially with the introduction of specific homework assignments outside of therapy sessions that help the client participate in an interactive experience where you are expected to eventually learn effective ways of changing these previously engrained ways of self-defeating thinking.
 
A good - and free - place to get a feel for what CBT and the event>thought>emotion>behaviour sequence is the Australian National University's moodGYM site. It's a self-paced online CBT programme. It has a companion programme for anxiety called e-couch.

I would still recommend a real life therapist though - preferably a clinical psychologist or another mental health professional who's fully qualified to diagnose. It's hard to establish and maintain healthy boundaries if you don't know what healthy boundaries are - and if other people's shit is having a negative impact on your life there are almost certainly boundary issues in play.
 
thats true. thanks :) you guys have helped me out so much tonight. i wasnt planning on waking up tomorrow, but now i know i will.. thanks
 
drmindbender- that very SURREAL reality can become reality

at the time that this event happend i was 19 me and my mum were not on good terms she was driving down from seattle to montana to come see me because i had been having some health problems.
on her drive down from seattle she hit a patch of black ice and slid into the guard rail.

the car landed 200 yards away from the highway upside down, it took them almost an hour to get into the car to see if she was even alright
she was dead the details haunt me everyday i was told what had happened why she died the most serious brain trama that the paramedics had seen. She wasnt wearing her seatbelt.

long story short at the time of this all before she died i hated her, i hated myself i hated the cancer that i had been so numbly diagnosed. i wanted to kill myself and i was slowly on that path eating up opiates that were prescribed and boughten of the streets in fistfulls doing benzo like they were going out of style i was slowly dieing.
but when she died i changed i realized how we are all luckly to be here. things will change. im not doubting that jagged pills isnt going thru some hard times. but there are people out there in wayyyy worse situations and they pull thru because death is a cop out, killing yourself if the easiest solution for nothing. selfish your family your friends your everything is effected....

and the last word i said to her before she died was "dont come down here i hate you".
 
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Thats definatley something that will effect you for a long time, but not everyone is in the samee situation. Some people can handle more in life, others cant. Some have family that is there for them, others dont. Some people could die today & literaally no one would notice: its sad, but true.

oh & I feel much better this morning :D
 
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blessedamines said:
drmindbender- that very SURREAL reality can become reality

at the time that this event happend i was 19 me and my mum were not on good terms she was driving down from seattle to montana to come see me because i had been having some health problems.
on her drive down from seattle she hit a patch of black ice and slid into the guard rail.

the car landed 200 yards away from the highway upside down, it took them almost an hour to get into the car to see if she was even alright
she was dead the details haunt me everyday i was told what had happened why she died the most serious brain trama that the paramedics had seen. She wasnt wearing her seatbelt.

long story short at the time of this all before she died i hated her, i hated myself i hated the cancer that i had been so numbly diagnosed. i wanted to kill myself and i was slowly on that path eating up opiates that were prescribed and boughten of the streets in fistfulls doing benzo like they were going out of style i was slowly dieing.
but when she died i changed i realized how we are all luckly to be here. things will change. im not doubting that jagged pills isnt going thru some hard times. but there are people out there in wayyyy worse situations and they pull thru because death is a cop out, killing yourself if the easiest solution for nothing. selfish your family your friends your everything is effected....
Click to expand...

Thank you for sharing that experience. You are extremely wise and for whatever its worth to you, your way of analyzing and coping with the tragedy should set a positive example for others that are experiencing complications in life. I am truly sorry for your loss but I'm sure your mother knows how much you love her regardless of your last words with her on this earth.
 
blessedamines, terribly sorry, I was very unsensitive.. I'm sorry about what happened to you. Congrats on being able to handle it & hang in there. I can only imagine how an experience like that helped you to change your life around.
 
thank you all,
i mainly shared that story because i can relate, after her death for id say a year i was on the edge of losing myself i started cutting and starving myself.
and one night i drove my car into a tree, trying to finish myself off. i woke up 6 hours later in the hospital with broken ribs and a right femur.
my cancer treatments where going good and iv been in remission for 2 years.
i really feel for you jagged pills, i would most definetly be affected if you killed yourself. if you ever want to talk pm me

im really glad you are feeling better :)
 
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:)

if theres one things to think about when your down, think about yourself and be thankful that you are here and have the opportunity to evolve both body and mind. when you have your health you have everything.
 
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