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Random MSN Gibberings XCIV - How much for an 8th of Immodium?

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I'm quite glad that I only had access for a bit, after being given slightly too many for an injury which didn't really hurt. I found the perkiness / slight speediness quite attractive. Also it never felt quite like ACTUALLY being on drugs, just like life went extremely well while I was munching them down and that weed had a certain extra dimension to it... I guess the subtle seduction is a dangerous thing.
 
That would be precisely the issue in my book, Jan. The perk was a big plus for me: energy in scripted form is a rare thing from UK docs. Instant antidpressant effect was also a biggie: never known an officially sanctioned substance that could get even close to that other than tram. Shitey bits involve the perk not working unless you up the dose to spazzout levels over time and the antidepressant effect reverting to traditional SSRI-stylee zombiedom with daily use. That and the fuckin' insane withdrawals. Did I mention the w/d? They're not so much fun either...

The shitey bits are a real shame cos if it weren't for them tram has many a thing going for it. End is not worth the means though...
 
Shes more of a prick teeze than a seductress Jan. Tramadol never really delivers in the long run for me. Any high I get from it lasts 3 or 4 days max. Its just fucking absurd that I allowed myself to get back on it. :sus:
 
You never been on SSRIs, PolkaDot? To answer my own question, I guess that'd be a "No" if ya don't know...

I mean the state that dailly use of SSRIs (and, it appears, SNRIs) achieves - nay demands: no real highs, no real lows, just kinda... "content" no matter what. The state that daily use of antideps inevitibly leads to - "couldn't give a fuck 'bout owt cos staring into space is pleasing enough to pass a day or two. Or a month or two. Or a year or two...".
 
Shit yeah that has been happening. I really cant motivate myself. I've always been a bit dreamy but this is sillyness. Its really hard to focus on the concrete stuff of reality. I can sit for ages just watching clouds moving.

Sorry, I think you missed that edit on the previous post. How many pills were you taking a day/in one go?
 
I always stuck to the 400mg/day max dose, PolkaDot. Had some rather dodgy experiences on it (and read far too many horror stories about it) to have the balls to go over that supposedly magic line...

That aimlessly dreamy stuff does sound like pure antidepressant zombiedom to me. It's horribly conflicting. On the one hand folks tend to resort to antideps to avoid the wrenching high/low cycle and get some blessed peace in life... but saturating ya brain in mild-moderate serotonin mush is a truly shitey way of achieving it cos that's all it can ever be: empty contentment with emptiness.

I decided to taper/quit me trams just to see if that aforementioned brutal high/low swingcycle was actually worse than blankvoid... it wasn't. Give me manic depression over... nothing anyday. At least you feel something - anything - even if it's not always much fun.
 
How far through are you YPDH? Once you start seeing the glimmers of light it starts to get much better. Now you know not one can pass your lips you can put it properly behind you! The doctors still don't believe me that when i'm in pain it's much much easier to come off of straight up morphine. I swear I could stay up for 3 days at a time on tramadol, feeling good. And weed was enhanced too. Or, alternatively, if I felt like it I could stay in bed all day. You've come off quite a few other drugs haven't you shammy? How does it compare to coming off of smack?

They don't even consider you to be in enough danger to bother going to hospital until you top 1 g. I was taking well over half a g a day with loads of msts on top. I think 15 in one day was my record :/ Shit drug.
 
dont answer that sham lol

MSB actually i'm just down to 4 from about 8 so not even off yet but feeling rough. I cant face cold turkey.. MXE really did help to ease me off last time.. (even if daily use for about a week did lead to me thinking I was a horse and at one time a shoe 8()

Once I went out at sunrise and 'felt' like I was the dawn itself though which was beautiful.
 
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MSB: It's by far the worst w/d I ever had from any drug ever. Smack, crack and even fuckin' benzos were a piece of piss compared to tramadol. Not on the cravings side though - not a single craving since the day I quit - purely on the mental torture side. The seemingly eternal brainzaps were proper shit too, mind. But eventually faded after 3-4 months :|

Moodswings took/are still taking (albeit at considerably less volume) six months or so and counting :\

PolkaDot: I would strongly advise not going cold turkey with tram. Best advice I could offer would be to taper long 'n' slow. 50mg/week is plenty enough. 50mg/fortnight is just dandy too. Tram fucks with yer brainchems to such an extent it truly does take months upon months to even begin to get back to normal so don't torment yerself and set up inevitible failure cos it just demoralises ya and sends you back to square one. Take it slow: it hurts far less, allows your brain to adjust in only moderately horrific stylee, and - most importantly - is considerably more likely to be successful.

Good luck, tramslaves. It does get better... eventually <3

PS: MXE was actually a massive help for me too for those last few steps down in dose... pisser it's less available now cos it was truly a boon for kickin' other stuff :\
 
My policy on daily use of drugs these days is to try to avoid it, PolkaDot. I semi-succeed... Only drugs I take almost every day at the moment are codeine and alcohol. I especially regret the latter. Former is partly - even mostly - due to chronic pain and being the only painkiller other than tramadol my doc will prescribe for it. Helps a bit... But would frankly prefer the option of morphine. And - bizzarely - almost entirely for therapuetic reasons. Who'dda thunk it? :\

Am still in two minds as to whether it's worth blagging a fresh bupe script. My drug support worker says they'd script it almost by default if I showed even slight hints of a heroin relapse... that would still mean having to show positive for at least one or two saliva tests for scag though. Which could be... risky :|
 
Been out with housemates tonight, one left in a mood half way through the night. Got home and he's dashing about, being borderline nonsensical. Am sat smoking and talking to him as he comes in and out my room while the rest of us get on it. Finally get to bed, go into my room and am like WOAH.

Cunt has only gone and tidied my entire room, done my washing, put all my papers in order and just basically set my entire life in order. Swear someone drugged him with phet but whatever, I am so massively fucking grateful. Told him his bar tab is mine until the end of the semester.
 
Shambles said:
Can I borrow him, Snoll-de-Roll? Puh-leese?

Hmm... maybe this is an epiphany... is a gay housemate on drugs and/or in a tizz the answer to all life's problems?!?
Click to expand...

I'll send him your way next <3 It is clearly the answer. Fucking hell, we've had our differences this year so I'm actually a bit teary. I was dreading getting back from the missus' place to my shit hole of a flat so this is like the best thing ever, bar none.
 
Missus' place?!? Blimey, Snollz, I missed that development. Last I read it was just at the *ahem* "innocently" *ahem* falling asleep in the lap of the longed-for ones stage... ;)<3

That aside, seems I needs me a housepoof :D

That and that aside: arsery. Have run outta baccy. Which is shite. Think I may have to toddle off down the road to visit me *ahem* sugardaddy for some cigs. The term "sugardaddy" is based in irony, incidentally. Sadly. Otherwise my flat would've been sorted long ago. Auld fella wot stays up all night, has loadsa cigs and weed to hand at all times, and is happy to dish out both at any time of day or night as long as I either hang around for ages or leave pronto (variable... latter is usually preferable...). Ho-hum. It's either that or a 30 mile walk to the nearest 24h garage though :|
 
YPDH: I"m on low dose naltrexone at the moment, as some sort of immune modulator. So I'm not taking any scripted painkillers at the moment. I have been bashing vallies for the last week but I've just knocked that on the head. My health is doing great though, I've been working out every day. I think valium and weed would have been very helpful for the main horrible 5 days if you cold turkeyed it.

Sham: I haven't really quit anything else but tobacco. Baccy was annoying and the cravings were a bitch, but tram made it a walk in the park. I just stopped the tram completely. I'd already quit it before when I got into a bit of a habit of taking 4 a day or 6 if I wanted a bit of an extra buzz.
 
Naltrexone :|

*shudders*

The only script I've ever had I've still got uncashed. Also the reason I had to leave rehab early. The only drug on Earth I'm aware of that's worse than tramadol. Jeebus fuckpants you're a sucker for punishment 8o

No idea what possible role as an "immune modulator" it could have, but as a "mash yer brainchemistry into subsmission enough to make tramadol seem like Smarties" substance it's a corker. Fuck me. You seriously need to see a new doctor :D
 
It's in low dose format at 4.5mgs a day. It blocks your natural endorphines, which creates extra endorphines on the rebound, and supposedly this strengthens the immune systtem and keeps it on an even keel. And because my immune system is attacking myself it should help. It never occurred to me this might be hard to come off. I'm not meant to be on it really it's self prescribed.
 
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