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be safe have fun don't do stupid shit

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Some gems from Philomena Cunk:

"1 in 20 people has been a victim of crime. Which means 19 in 20 people are criminals. No wonder we need police"

"Henry VIII had six wives, all named Catherine. He was a Catherineoholic. Or "Catholic" for short"

[on Pompeii] "Thanks to the volcanic eruptions, we know that every day Romans had grey skin and were totally bald and spent their times lying around in their shockingly dusty homes"

[on the painting of The Last Supper] "Just look at this picture of Jesus at his faithful tea party...the dimensions are all wrong: Jesus is twice as big as all the others, so it looks like he's enjoying an intimate dinner with a bunch of schoolboys. Not a good look."

[on America's war of independance] "Eventually, Washington won the war and became America's first president: the world's single most revered role until 2016"

"With it's cowboys and guns and steamtrain rides, America became known as the land of the free. Which must have come as a surprise to all the slaves"
 
The rusted chains of prison moons
Are shattered by the sun.
I walk a road, horizons change
The tournament's begun.
The purple piper plays his tune,
The choir softly sing;
Three lullabies in an ancient tongue,
For the court of the crimson king.

The keeper of the city keys
Put shutters on the dreams.
I wait outside the pilgrim's door
With insufficient schemes.
The black queen chants
the funeral march,
The cracked brass bells will ring;
To summon back the fire witch
To the court of the crimson king.

The gardener plants an evergreen
Whilst trampling on a flower.
I chase the wind of a prism ship
To taste the sweet and sour.
The pattern juggler lifts his hand;
The orchestra begin.
As slowly turns the grinding wheel
In the court of the crimson king.

On soft gray mornings widows cry
The wise men share a joke;
I run to grasp divining signs
To satisfy the hoax.
The yellow jester does not play
But gently pulls the strings
And smiles as the puppets dance
In the court of the crimson king.


"The Court of the Crimson King"

-King Crimson
 
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