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be safe have fun don't do stupid shit

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Some gems from Philomena Cunk:

"1 in 20 people has been a victim of crime. Which means 19 in 20 people are criminals. No wonder we need police"

"Henry VIII had six wives, all named Catherine. He was a Catherineoholic. Or "Catholic" for short"

[on Pompeii] "Thanks to the volcanic eruptions, we know that every day Romans had grey skin and were totally bald and spent their times lying around in their shockingly dusty homes"

[on the painting of The Last Supper] "Just look at this picture of Jesus at his faithful tea party...the dimensions are all wrong: Jesus is twice as big as all the others, so it looks like he's enjoying an intimate dinner with a bunch of schoolboys. Not a good look."

[on America's war of independance] "Eventually, Washington won the war and became America's first president: the world's single most revered role until 2016"

"With it's cowboys and guns and steamtrain rides, America became known as the land of the free. Which must have come as a surprise to all the slaves"
 
The rusted chains of prison moons
Are shattered by the sun.
I walk a road, horizons change
The tournament's begun.
The purple piper plays his tune,
The choir softly sing;
Three lullabies in an ancient tongue,
For the court of the crimson king.

The keeper of the city keys
Put shutters on the dreams.
I wait outside the pilgrim's door
With insufficient schemes.
The black queen chants
the funeral march,
The cracked brass bells will ring;
To summon back the fire witch
To the court of the crimson king.

The gardener plants an evergreen
Whilst trampling on a flower.
I chase the wind of a prism ship
To taste the sweet and sour.
The pattern juggler lifts his hand;
The orchestra begin.
As slowly turns the grinding wheel
In the court of the crimson king.

On soft gray mornings widows cry
The wise men share a joke;
I run to grasp divining signs
To satisfy the hoax.
The yellow jester does not play
But gently pulls the strings
And smiles as the puppets dance
In the court of the crimson king.


"The Court of the Crimson King"

-King Crimson
 
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Pink Pony Club Gay Hockey Show

I know, that I don't watch much TV
But I've been taken prisoner by
Heated Rivalry
I'd heard, that I might feel some type of way
But I didn't think I'd be this fucked up every single day
I'm having wicked dreams
Of men on hockey teams
Fated to fall in love
Drowning in secrecy
I don't claim to be proud
But when I watch a scene
Of Shane and Ilya
I always want to scream

God, what have I done?
It's a queer hockey show
And I can't get enough
Oh, no, I'm not having fun
It's taking over my world
I just don't know how to stop watching that

Gay hockey show
I'm gonna keep on dreaming 'bout that gay hockey show
I'm gonna keep on reading all those gay hockey books
I don't what I did before the gay hockey show
Gay hockey show

Tension
That neither rival can ignore
They leave me (and each other) breathless
Always wanting more
A slow burn
That could enrapture anyone
Blooming in the darkness
But unfurling in the sun

I'm having sleepless dreams
Nothing is what it seems
Do they creators know
What they have done to me?
I really hope they're proud
I'll never be the same
I've never even watched
A stupid hockey game

God, what have they done?
It's a queer hockey show
But it feels like a drug
Oh, no, I can stop anytime
But I don't think I will
Why would I why I just love that

Gay hockey show
How'd I become addicted to that gay hockey show?
How many times can I re-read the gay hockey books?
I don't know to live without the gay hockey show
Gay hockey show

More than breaking barriers
They're making history
Tearing down the walls
Of toxic masculinity
The problem
Is it's comsuming all my days
A problem I don't ever want to ever go away

God, what have we done?
It's a queer hockey show
But it's changing the world
I know I'm losing my mind
But it's so hard to care
When I'm just so grateful for that

Gay hockey show
We know it's so much more than just a gay hockey show
Thank you Rachel Reid for writing gay hockey books
And Jacob for believing in that gay hockey show
Gay hockey show
 
That brainwashing song from The Simpsons, lol:

There's trouble in a far-off nation
Time to get in a love formation
Your love is more deadly than Sadam
And that's why I gotta drop da bomb
Drop da bomb
Yvan eht nioj
Yvan eht nioj
Yvan eht nioj
Yvan eht nioj
This party is happenin'
It's no mirage
So sing it again:
Yvan eht nioj
Yvan eht nioj
Yvan eht nioj
Eht nioj
Had a girl in every port
From here to Barcelona
But now I'm back in Springfield
And, girl, I'm gonna phone ya
I stormed a lot of beaches
But you're the one that I missed
Let's get back together, girl, let's re-enlist
Yvan eht nioj
Yvan eht nioj
Yvan eht nioj
So sign me up, for a hitch of love
Recruit my heart, four sweet years of love
Let's march all day, and clean latrines all night
So join me now, let's reup tonight
 
twinkle twinkle little star,
how i wonder what u are,
up above the world so high like a diamond in the sky, when the blazing sun is gone when the nothing shines upon than u shine ur little light.... twinkle twinkle little star
 
🪻


A cactus flower, blooming reckless and radiant in the harshest conditions. Not knowing if it’ll survive the sun.
Just knowing it finally chose to open.
--- A Memoir


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Hey guys, I figured I'd start a thread for any random miscellaneous collection of words you find throughout the day that you like, find funny or inspiring. If this thread already exists in some fashion, feel free to merge but I didn't really see it.

I post this stuff all the time on FB, but ppl probably find it annoying so maybe I'll start just posting it here. Don't forget to credit the author! I'll start:

"They are everywhere.

The tragedy-sniffers are all
about
they get up in the morning
and begin to find things
wrong
and they fling themselves
into a rage about
it,
a rage that lasts until
bedtime,
where even there
they twist in their
insomnia,
not able to rid their
mind
of the petty obstacles
they have
encountered.

They feel set against,
it’s a plot.
And by being constantly
angry they feel that
they are constantly
right.

You see them in traffic
honking wildly
at the slightest
infraction,
cursing,
spewing their
invectives.

You feel them
in lines
at banks
at supermarkets
at movies,
they are pressing
at your back
walking on your
heels,
they are impatient to
a fury.

They are everywhere
and into
everything,
these violently
unhappy
souls.

Actually they are
frightened,
never wanting to be
wrong
they lash out
incessantly
it is a malady
an illness of
that
breed.

The first one
I saw like that
was my
father

and since then
I have seen a
thousand
fathers,
ten thousand
fathers
wasting their lives
in hatred,
tossing their lives
into the
cesspool
and
ranting
on."

💙 Charles Bukowski, They Are Everywhere
i really feel seen with this. lol. these people. these angry impatient people. i am them.
 
much of your pain is self-chosen.
It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self.
Therefore trust the physician, and drink his remedy in silence and tranquillity:
For his hand, though heavy and hard, is guided by the tender hand of the Unseen,
And the cup he brings, though it burn your lips, has been fashioned of the clay which the Potter has moistened with His own sacred tears.
who wrote this? could you credit the author please
 
I promise you they see.
The problem is they disagree.
They want their way,
or the highway.

It's not so much that they're not aware.
The bigger problem is they don't care.

Anger times 10,000.
Fragile self esteem.

No internal resources.
 
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