Poor quality jokes contrived around drug related puns

[StoneHappyMonday]

What's the fastest cake in the world?

'scone

Cake is a drug.

 

[discopupils]

Drugged bankers pulled my wife's head off and puked down the neck hole.

 

[1024]

Did you hear about the dyslexic raver?

He died after having an F.

If PAC MAN affected us as kids we'd be running round darkened corridors listening to repetitive music and munching magic pills

 

[parttime crackhead]

Did you hear about the dyslexic raver?

He died after having an F.

Ha, that reminded me of another joke. Not strictly drug related but fuck it.

What do you call a rave full of epileptics?

A foam party.

Aye I know the drill, get coat, fuck off.

 

[The Quad]

Q: Who's the sleepiest Hollywood Movie Star?

A: Cameron Diaz.

Slightly off topic but hollywood related. Not into my films but Its just been on the radio a big female filmstar has been stabbed to death by a stalker... Reese someone???

 

[tambourine-man]

Oh... is this the part where I say 'Witherspoon'... and then you say: "no numbnut, she was stabbed with a knife"?

 

[The Quad]

Oh... is this the part where I say 'Witherspoon'... and then you say: "no numbnut, with a knife"?

Thats right spoil it why dont ye

 

[tambourine-man]

Forking 'ell.

 

[The Quad]

Forking 'ell.

Grow up. How old are You? ten? silly cunt

See what I did there.

 

[jancrow]

Please, in the interests of harm reduction can we keep this frickin' thread on topic?

Q: Which were the sloppiest ice skaters of the 1980s?

A: Torville and Codeine

 

[discopupils]

Which celebrity's breasts are said to be hypnotic?


Temazepamela Anderson.


I'm bored, I can't sleep, leave me be

 

[debaser]

More fine jokes!

 

[jancrow]

Q: Who's the most gravel-voiced and tired of Country singers?

A: Johnny Hash


Q: Why did you fall asleep on your stool in the pub after taking a bite out of the woodwork in front of you?

A: Because of the Bar Bit You Ate

 

[jancrow]

Which celebrity's breasts are said to be hypnotic?


Temazepamela Anderson.


I'm bored, I can't sleep, leave me be

That's the spirit, I liked that one.

 

[Cornishman]

Q: What room do they make magical mushy peas in?

A: The magic mush room.

 

[TheSpade]

These are all terribly bad yet funny. :D

 

[Don Luigi]

Q: Why does the grocer jump everytime he hears a siren?

A: He sells Cokeonuts

 

[TheSpade]

Are you lot making these up as you go along or have you heard these before?

 

[Don Luigi]

Making them up, I believe.

 

[jancrow]

^ it's all about making it up as you go along

and so's this thread.