Poor quality jokes contrived around drug related puns

[co2]

This is most likely apocrypha but there's a supposed cannabis rehabilitation centre in California with a long drive going up to the main building and along that drive is a very lush lawn peppered with signs warning visitors to 'Stay off the Grass'.

Also, not a pun, but:

Q: What do you have in a room full of tweakers?
[spoil]A: A full set of teeth.[/spoil]

The funniest thing about that joke, though, is that every single tweaker reading it will think it's about them.

 

[FlippingTop]

lmao nice thread =]

 

[felix]

this is definitely heading for Best of Bluelight, great stuff! :D

 

[Cornishman]

Q: Which ex atomic kitten star was recently caught snorting lines?

A: Kerry Ketona.

 

[The Quad]

Q: Which ex atomic kitten star was recently caught snorting lines?

A: Kerry Ketona.

Which one was caught smoking a spliff?

Nathasha Hamilton

 

[Cornishman]

Hahaha

 

[Link_S]

Q: Did you hear about the chickens at the boat rave?

A: They got thrown out for taking eggs to sea.

hahahaha brilliant!

 

[debaser]

Sorry, this is bad(ly drawn):

 

[Cornishman]

Lollol

 

[Disco Doctor]

Q: On a modern mobile telecommunications device, which key can be pressed in order to connect the user to a facilitator of drug procurement?

A: I think it's the hash key.

 

[Cornishman]

I bumped into a Glaswegian the other day, he offered me some cocaine at a stupidly cheap price.

I followed him to his car and he showed me a bar of the stuff.

NSFW:

 

[Evad]

I bumped into a Glaswegian the other day, he offered me some cocaine at a stupidly cheap price.

I followed him to his car and he showed me a bar of the stuff.

NSFW:

BRAVA!

 

[felix]

what do Cornish people like to blaze up at the end of a working day?

NSFW:

Witches.

 

[jancrow]

Michael Jackson's autopsy results are back!
Turns out he had extensive rectal damage from plugging Bubbles.

 

[Cornishman]

BRAVA!

what do Cornish people like to blaze up at the end of a working day?

NSFW:

Witches.

Lol.
Boo!

 

[cletus]

Semi drugs related & can't remember where I heard it.

How come Susan Boyle had her name shortened to Subo & that fucking idiot Pete Doherty never?

 

[parttime crackhead]

lol ^

Pete Doherty is not a "fucking idiot" though. The boy's wrote some amazing songs.

 

[cletus]

Yes he is, he's a fucking dick that deserves nothing but ridicule. As for writing some amazing songs, well that still has to be proven.

Every time he gets lifted, he sets back every single campaign to decriminalize any form of drugs.

 

[CartoonPHYSICS]

prince charles caught harry with cocaine. his first words were "IF I CATCH YOU WITH THAT AGAIN I'LL RUB YOUR FUCKING NOSE IN IT!"

 

[parttime crackhead]

Yes he is, he's a fucking dick that deserves nothing but ridicule. As for writing some amazing songs, well that still has to be proven.

Every time he gets lifted, he sets back every single campaign to decriminalize any form of drugs.

I don't think Pete Doherty's smack & crack fuelled antics are what's keeping drugs from being decriminalized lol. Was Keith Moon a fucking idiot? Jimi Hendrix? Kurt Cobain?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GFnlCjg1OsI

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ouvitGsX69Y