Poor quality jokes contrived around drug related puns

[jancrow]

Also, trousers falling down, constant slapstick, flower in buttonhole spraying water at admirers.

 

[Shambles]

Trousers "falling" down and spraying at "admirers" I can certainly relate to.

 

[jancrow]

If by 'flower' one means 'penis' and by 'admirers' one means 'arresting officers'.

 

[Shambles]

And presumably by "water" one means "piss".

Or "spunk" if s/he's gurt lush.

 

[jancrow]

You've gilded the lily.

If by 'lily' I mean 'penis' and by 'gilded'.....

 

[Shambles]

Well if ya gonna go all Shakespearean with yer filth...

'Fondling,' she saith, 'since I have hemm'd thee here
Within the circuit of this ivory pale,
I'll be a park, and thou shalt be my deer;
Feed where thou wilt, on mountain or in dale:
Graze on my lips, and if those hills be dry,
Stray lower, where the pleasant fountains lie.'

They never mentioned the cunnilingus verses in my English lit classes

 

[Poach]

Q: What do paedos and whiskey have in common?

A: They both come in small tots.

 

[Poach]

Elliot finds E.T. stumbling around in a daze one day.

"Are you on drugs?" says Elliot

E.T. says, "I'm a tripped alien"





I deserve a shiny medal for that one...

 

[gayorstraight]

Q: What do paedos and whiskey have in common?

A: They both come in small tots.

I laughed. I hate myself.

 

[Poach]

Q: Where did the violent offender get his drugs?

A: Boots The Chemist


8(

 

[Poach]

Wee Tam appears in court one Monday morning, for what he can't quite recall. The judge asks a witness,

"How is it that the defendant can never recall what it is he's done?"

"Tam is a bam" he replied.





Get tae bed!