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Permanent effects from drugs you've taken..

This is by far the most disturbing post i've ever read.
I say that because i see todays youth potentially harming themselves. Im 25 and I have been studdering lately and ive wondered if it was the E. After reading this im pretty sure of it. Its not like im a babbling idiot but sometimes i get stuck on a word and studder until i can get it out. I never did this in the past and it really bothers me. Ive been rolling about 6 months now and have done it almost every weekend since ive started. Ive never done it during the week so it has never interfered with my work week. I am also a computer professional as someone else mentioned. I do alot of phone support. I used to be the fastest talker in the group, running off directions so fast without ever missing a beat, some people couldnt even understand what i was saying. Now i sometimes have to stop and think hard about what im going to say next.
This bothers me and I really wish we had more research on this drug than we do. blame that on Mr. Clinton. someone had to vote him in, so blame yourselves for that. im not saying if we had a different prez drug issues would be diffrent but having him in office dont help matters.
either way, i feel as if im fucking myself up. everyone wants to get fucked up without fucking themselves up.(including myself)
What a mission we have chose to face. Hopefully we'll get it right.
Tim
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Been rolling for 2.5 years and after the first 2 I felt like it was definitely a good thing, met more people than I ever had in my life, was still doing all the things I wanted to do (i.e.-finished college) was still having fun and not feeling too terrible afterwards. I've cut my consumption to once a month or so, but when I do it its usually 2 days in a row to make up for lost time w/ my b/f, who lives far away. afterwards I'm miserable, before and after I'm nervous and jittery, I'm depressed all the fucking time and feel like there's no point to anything, I'm having a terrible time motivating myself to get a real job. I wouldn't trade what I have with my b/f for anything, and I met him on bluelight, but sometimes I wish I'd never taken E, and I'm afraid I'll never function like a normal human again. I used to be intelligent and creative and now I just feel retarded and boring.
 
I've only done E 6 times. The day after the 1st time, I was so depressed. I never thought I could feel that literally depressed. I did it again the next night and didn't get depressed the next day, or any other time I've done it.
The only thing I notice is that now when I smoke weed, my jaw quivers. Or when I take Metabolife. Or even for no reason at all. It started after I took E. It's not really annoying.
 
E - mixing up thoughts, stuttering at times, not caring about what happens to me (sometimes this has proved good)
Weed - short term memory... cant remember names & stuff like "where did I JUST keep my books?". And decrease in drive, motivation and aggression.
Another thing - the first few times I did E, I didnt feel any negative effects. After 6-7 times, they came on strong!
I'm on a 3 month break from E, and I just recently started to feel better....
(Damn oakenfold and cyberfest - i will HAVE to drop this weekend
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).
It could probabaly be my last.... sometimes I wonder if E is worth it???
Ans
 
Where are the all-knowing moderators? Perhaps, they would suggest we use the search button. I have printed out numerous pages on long term affects. They've fed e to monkeys and other species to study it's effects. Unfortunately, there is no manual on what we are all going through. Like the rest of things in life, weighing out the pros and cons of using e in relation to its possible long/short term effects.
 
I can take physical pleasure from sound.
I look around the world and see a thing of unimaginable beauty and wonder.
I see the humour in living for wealth and power.
I'm happy.
I don't take myself too seriously.
I've realized that the eyelid movies will ALWAYS be there, you've just got to look for them.
I still have tracers.
I feel guilty about all the friends I lost when I became a user.
I still feel ashamed of how I lost control and felt that drugs were the most important thing and allowed them to permeate every aspect of my life.
As long as I live with my family they will regard me with a great degree of suspicion and condescension.
As long as I live with my family raves and other great social events are out of the question (is it possible to be a raver in exile).
A LOT of people talk about the "permanent effects" of drugs, like tracers and mild memory loss, a slight damaging of speech and cognition. But everyone forgets to mention the OTHER permanent effects, like your world is changed, if they find out, your family cast away, your friends change, your life gains a different direction and you can never take that leap BACK to the way you were before you opened your mind.
I wish someone would have told ME those inevitabilities, not because I would've stayed clean all my life, but because it would sure as fuck made me wait and be more careful about it, so I didn't fuck up so many personal things.
Drugs CAN be physically harmful. But I think that socially and in familial circles they are almost certainly going to bring about irreparable, unchangeable damage.
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Your Phriendly, Neighborhood, Psychedelic Psuper Hero
 
wow, I can't beleive that this thread is still alive. posted on this subject a while ago. As there seems to be questions with regards to how long we have been doing it, here's my answer.
I've been having memory problems. My mind does not seem as sharp as it used to be. Problem solving skills seems to be reduced. I seem to need more time to think of different ideas.
I've dropped five pills total in a course of seven months. The first pill did not have any negative effects, but the latter few seemed to have manifested a new me. "stupid"
smile.gif
Guess I better take it easy and use my imagination instead. Au naturel.
 
IM ANGRY !
At the government that is. I was in the hospital for 6 months due to a motorcycle accident. In all that time, on all those drugs i lost alot of my memory. I can hardly remember my childhood at all. but short term memory seemed to be fine. until the E. now i feel like im fucking with that. Not a good thing.
I really wish someone would do some research to find out the real side effects. Id be the first to voulenteer my time,and my brain, to save the brains of millions of others.
Maybe im over reacting. but i think this drug needs to be researched like the rest. Lots of young minds are at stake.
Tim
 
I am not affected by anything... I am superman!!!!!!
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JC ~ Angelic
Disclaimer - I have never done drugs, I was on vaction when it happend... in Fiji, yeah Fiji, and no I threw the ticket reciepts away!
 
I have permanent lightspots and tracers. This is most likely from heavy acid use. ummm whenever I smoke some bud or am in the dark these things are heightened quite a bit.
 
i'm definitely burnt, but who the fucks knows what it's from. i think it mostly has to do with smoking weed, at least the loss of memory(smoked at least twice a day for six years), cause i quit for a month, and got back a good portion of my brain. i defintely miss some words when i read, and when i write i leave out certain words, even though i think them, and think i write them(have a feeling thats the E). vision is permanantly fucked up and everything looks slightly trippy all the time (probably acid,pcp). i over analyze shit. my brain is sort of scrambled, and thoughts jump from one topic to another all the time (maybe the excessive coke/other speedy substances). i get nervous a lot, but i've always been like that. i think that covers most of it.
peace, head
 
"i'm not confused; i'm just well mixed..." a quote by robert frost to start out with. i've noticed some things... but maybe it's all in my head. maybe i am a space cadet and have always been one? but positively speaking, i know it sounds bad, but i think e has expanded my thinking, like sometimes it's hard to think, but when you are really making an effort to think hard, the things you come up with are so much more creative.. or maybe this is in my head too.. i thnk i'm well-mixed bundle of sanity and MaDnEsS!!!!
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milez of smilez and big smooshie hugz.
 
ugghhhhhhhhh, I hate this post but need to reply to it all at the same time. I've rolled on and off for about 5 years now. I'd venture to guess perhaps 20 times total. I got into using e recreationally cause I love to unwind/hate to drink, love the vibe, music and the openess of meeting new people and having new experiences overall. And as much as I have really wanted to believe all along that the side effects were minimal or insignificant over the long haul, I'm starting to think differently.
The last time I rolled a couple of weeks ago was great. However, the past 2 weeks have been headache-filled and talk about moody and edgy! I can't stand to be around myself sometimes. I find myself slipping into this stream of conscious thought that annoys the hell out of me. Not to mention I can't focus or concentrate for more than 3 minutes on anything. I feel all blurry-headed. All of which SUX, cause I think I have used semi-modestly and been overall responsible.
Now...in the midst of all this, we just bought a house and moved 2 weeks ago. So, what I am hoping is that it is just a very stressful time right now and I will return to normal. Either way, I am taking a break for a while and will keep you all informed on the whole process.
Something is definitley up, cause I feel actually quite down...none of this is anywhere normal for me. I keep wondering why the infinite sadness I'm feeling and oh shit, have I used up my serotonin supply completely? j/k, I know there's more where the other came from, but I wanna feel good again.
Peace
tarmac
 
i have noticed a problem with memory, sharp thinking and with expressive speech.
permanent or temporary, i don't know--but i don't plan on sitting on my ass while i wait for someone else to tell me.
i may have damaged using parts of my brain for the above, but all i have to do is train another part on my brain to compensate. i just have to push my memory, thinking, and speech to its limits and then beyond that...learning to use other parts of my brain.
 
My feeling is this about E. Weed can definetely effect your long term memory if your smoking alot because it affects your short term memory. E I think doesn't really effect my memory I think its the sleep deorivation that fucks me up. I feel like after a night I've had just that much more stuff for my brain to deal with.... Any ideas on this one?
 
I haven't really noticed any negative long-term effects from my drug use. The only thing I notice is that I find things more "trippy" than I used to, especially clouds and sunsets.
-Aura
Where are we going and why am I in this handbasket?
 
I forgot to say one thing. A few years back I used to smoke lots. Like 20 bongs hits a day lots and I could still function but I was numbed out. I stopped smoking for a few years and I think it took me like 6 months until things became clearer, things tasted better, felt better in general. But I guess that was like whats going to happen after you smoke that much. These days I'll only smoke kind bud now and again, but only that. I do have to say that after rolling a few times the clouds do look alot more trippy, the sky in general is soo nice (I think thats the best word to use). Anyways my thought is complete, and I'm goin to stop jabberin. Anyone feel the same way.
-Sham
 
What a Brilliant Topic, we must suggest to the blue light to take this topic further.
However it would be better to have more detail about each persons background, as I believe that many of these symptoms can be attributed to other factors. (Or we would like to believe)
Example: I sometimes start a whole train of thought and start to speak and then go blank. But pick it up again, while everyone waits on baited breathe for my next point. ( sometimes the point hasn't come yet)
Analysis:
1) Dope , I have had a lot when I was younger and do it socially now.
2) I am in the computer profession and I spend many hours programming, now my brain now likes to work in a minimalist language - whichever programming language, and thus my command of the English language would be depleted. My E taking actually coincided with the time I became very concentrated on system development. So I believe that my brain has changed its ability to construct sentences. I have never been a big reader, and have found that if I read, and then start conversation, my ability to use words has improved.
How I substantiate this is comparing with some mates of mine , who are the wittiest and funniest babblers and sense makers I know. They take up to 10 a night. And yet they communicate very well. Iam not sure how they used to communicate though.
3) I liked the response of an earlier blue lighter , that its normal signs of aging. suppose it would apply to me !
4) I found , my thoughts are "freer" since I been taking e, and possibly my brain is rushing, and leaves the talking behind, and when the brain comes back to get the mouth going, they are out of sync ? (long one but iam sure there are documented case of this type of speech problem.)
So basically to be able to make any sensible correlation for all these reports, before we totally freak each other out, we need to get a more controlled means of reporting these perceived e related problems.
If blue light could establish a scientific means of us reporting the data, then some meaningful correlation could be established, and probably help in research.
To summarise : Don't freak me out I like e, try find other reasons for the problems. (denial)
 
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