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☮ Social ☮ PD Social Thread: N-Dimensional Funhouse of Possibilities

^Hey there TAC, good to see you! I was hoping you'd drop back in again, seems a few of the old crew are back :) Whats been happening?

Magic is still everywhere brother :) <3

I'm not trying to shoot down your advice or sound overly stubborn. I really do appreciate you taking the time to give me some words of advice. I'm on roughy 2-3mgs per day. Normally just 2mgs at night. I'm not naturally an anxious person so I can manage throughout the day, but when it comes time to sleep I generally need 2mgs to knock me out. But then there are nights like tonight, where the 2mgs did absolutely nothing to me. So I feel I'm at that point of either doing more or just stopping.

Piss poor relationship with my mother, I probably will only want the comfort of my dog Belle and the girlfriend, though I don't want to give her any added stress through this.

Thank you willow <3

Not at all brother :) <3
 
^Hey there TAC, good to see you! I was hoping you'd drop back in again, seems a few of the old crew are back :) Whats been happening?

Hey willow, it's good to see you too man. :) It's really nice to see so many familiar usernames, Xorkoth, Roger, Laika, Solipsis, nightwatch, etc.

As to what's been happening, I've gotten really into Hearthstone lately, and it's basically my entire life at the moment, sad as that sounds, lol. I'm working on trying to get to Legend ranking, and I've still got a ways to go.

Also, I've started seeing this therapist, and she's really cool. I once saw a therapist for a little while when I was a teenager, but he didn't connect with me nearly as much. I think I'm making a lot of progress working stuff out now, so that's good.

How have you been willow?

Magic is still everywhere brother :) <3

I like the optimism. :)
 
^I'm going well thanks. Pretty flat out working and refining my education :) Still taking psychedelics but no more addictions thank god...:)

Also, I've started seeing this therapist, and she's really cool. I once saw a therapist for a little while when I was a teenager, but he didn't connect with me nearly as much. I think I'm making a lot of progress working stuff out now, so that's good.

That is good to hear. A good therapist should feel like they don't exist independently...

I googled hearthstone, and realised I'll never understand what it actually is.... ;)
 
^Well, I'm working at a library and completing a degree in information science, which I partially completed some years back but had to drop out. I'm just doing part-online/part-classwork style. I'm doing a bit of book preservation/restoration and would like to pursue that further I think. A library is probably the perfect place for me, my inability to be normal is not such a defect in that environment :)
 
It's so cool to see the same people here after so many years. I don't even use psychedelics anymore just loved the community. I used to be Nearjat by the way, I had a funny little avatar of a pulsating blob man.

I've got my first psychiatry appointment tomorrow, not counting the one I saw years ago at "insert famous rehab here", who took me off the only effective ADHD treatment I had every been on because "it's abusable". Well true, but I'm not abusing it, and you being a professional should be able to tell. It was dexedrine btw. I'll likely be given that again. And trying a new antidepressant because Effexor does nothing but give me brain zaps. It was given to me in haste after I tried to kill myself.

Anxiety wise, I would love a low dose of klonopin daily so I can pick up phone calls and open mail without going light headed and not being able to breathe, but if I'm honest about my opiate addiction I'll probably get Buspar. Anyone have experience with it? Worth a damn?
 
I just realized the person who passed being discussed is someone I spoke to often in AOL, until recent weeks myself, and only haven't been speaking to him because I don't log in anymore these days. As a few of you know, I am really bad with names so I've taken to altering all names in my IM list to something I actually remember. I didn't realize until reading the memorial thread that nowwtf was Nathan/Jason.

I can't claim like I knew him as a close friend, I probably opened up to him way more than he did to me, but I certainly knew of his issues, at least as he divulged them to me. From my POV, he was a very nice young man, a little paranoid and way too into the illumaniti for sanity's sake, but still a good man. I am really surprised to hear what happened.

My thoughts and prayers go out to him and his family, or Aunt, not sure he spoke of anyone else to me.
 
Wish I could help out some how Laika bro
I have infinite knowledge about opioid wd but not benzos

But you know what I said through text, if you ever need a friend to talk to immediately lemme know no matter day or night
I know how it feels to be stuck and dependent on a chemical just to be well

Of course I'll recommend a lot of loud uplifting music
I really hope you don't have any seizures pal

Good luck and warm loving vibes will be coming your way
 
TAC! Really good to see you here! We were just talking about how you were missed a little while ago. :)

Well I'm back from my vacation (though still at my parents' house). I got a damn cold from the travel and dry desert air, my lungs like humidity. Feel pretty crappy right now but at least it waited til I got home. I was going to hang out with my friend tonight but I think the best choice is to rest.
 
I'm going to quit Klonopin cold turkey. I'm sick and tired of trying to taper, I know it's just something I am unable to do. It almost always results in me taking more. I've asked my doctor if we could start to taper and she didn't want to. Even though I've explained to her that I'm not an anxious person and getting into benzos was all one big stupid mistake. It pisses me off that I'm not getting any support from my doctor, it's clear she just wants to keep me as a customer. And at this point any way I cannot afford my next visit, nor my next script, so one way or another I have to face the music. Even if she did start me on a taper there's nothing stopping me from just taking them too fast and being in the same situation I'm about to be in. I haven't gone a day without a benzo since July 2012. I'm not on high doses but I know it will be hell. I know it will be stupid, just as stupid as getting into benzos in the first place. I knew all of the risks and it's time to pay the piper. I'm oddly excited for this because I'm pretty damn determined and fucking sick of being dependent on something, or any thing for that matter. I don't have a job at the moment though I may be about to get one. That of course is going to be the ultimate test. I don't give a shit what happens to me at home. I'm prepared for seizures (I suppose). It's inevitable and I know my stubborn personality type. The only way I will learn is if I go through this supposed hell of benzo w/d.

Has anyone cold turkeyed from benzos before?

Laika, man...

I know we've talked a bit about benzos in the past, and while I really have the utmost sympathy for your situation I feel like with the amount you've been taking, w/ds could potentially be dangerous at this point...I'm not a doctor, just a concerned friend. I mean if you must, go as long as you can without the kpins, if you have a seizure I would seek immediate medical attention and maybe do a rapid taper/detox (which yes will suck a lot but probably nowhere near as hard as cold turkey.) I'm sure you can get through this but if I were you I would try and source some etizolam or maybe gabapentin/lyrica or phenibut or anything because cold turkeying benzos is something that I've tried numerous times and in my experience has just never worked....I'll always end up looking for more benzos or anything else that's gabaergic, to relieve the pure utter agony that is benzo wd. But I have to stress again, your health is the most important part and I wouldn't want you to have a seizure...just please be safe man, and let us know how it goes, if and how you're able to adapt to benzo free life, etc. I have faith in you buddy, you really can do this if you want to, but from a personal standpoint I would try and taper just a bit more so it doesn't become medically dangerous. I hope all goes well with ya there man and you know you can always talk to me about this shit, I too have been doin the whole benzo thing for a while now...

FWIW, I have managed to get down to 1.5-2mg of etizolam daily, and tbh ive been pretty uncomfortable trying to get anywhere below this amount...it seems I've hit a wall. Hmm, maybe I should just maintain off this dose...I guess we'll see...
 
^While we're on the subject, i just swtichted to diclazepam to taper off of etizolam and it's working like a charm. I went from being stuck at 8 mgs of etiz a day to a comfortable ~5mgs of diclazepam.
 
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HELP!? it would really help if you cleared your pms, i had some online banking problems.

TAC it is nice to see your bird round these parts again!

It's sad to hear that about thedeadlywar, I did not know him, but his shrine thread made me wanna pray for him nonetheless.

I had some czech republic medical grade LSD they give to people who are terminally ill two days ago. It was unreal.

Peace and love everyone <3
 
<3 :)

I'd fucking love some medical grade LSD....
 
The best love letter ever:
50mg DOC
100mg 4-Ho-MET
1 g each of 4-FA
1 g methylone
plus freebies, 5 x 1mg 25i blotter, 100mg DPT, 100mg 5-MeO-DMT.

Thanks god :)

Just poured some of the methylone goodness down my throat. Gonna head out with my buddy and take some photos and eat some amphetamines and GHB. <3
 
Mmmm... tasty letter. :)

FYI, sometime give a combo of 4-HO-MET and 4-FA a try. I took the combo rectally, I think it was like 12mg of 4-HO-MET and whatever normal dose of 4-FA. It was magical, intense euphoria similar to my first MDMA roll but more psychedelic, some sort of secret synergy. I'm curious if it was a one-time thing or if it just does that.

So I kinda think I have strep throat, I used to get it multiple times a year as a kid but haven't had it since maybe 15 years old. But my throat just hurts SO BADLY, it feels like there are open wounds in there. :(
 
Strep throat sucks! I almost never get sick, but I would get that at least every year until I was like 14. I don't think I've had it once in the eight years since then, actually. The only benefit is that my mom would buy my all these bad ass dairy popsicles from the store =D.
 
Yeah strep sucks, it seems like it only because of the throat. I am also sneezing with a runny nose, and other than that I physically feel pretty normal, a bit low-energy. But it feels like open wounds in my throat, it's really bad. For the past few days my throat has been super dry and painful in the morning but then it mostly stops hurting after I get moving. I was blaming it on the super dry desert air since I live in one of the most humid places in the country.

I have had strep many ways though, I don't recall ever having a runny nose but I have even had it where my throat barely hurt. I've had it where it hurt bad but I felt fine otherwise. And I've had it where I felt horribly sick. So, I'm heading to the doctor shortly for a look/throat culture... and we'll see.
 
Guys, I'd like to try a new drug.

Is methylone good stuff? how about GBL?

and then there's aMT.. Should I give it another try? I've only done 30mg once and it was pretty underwhelming.

I think it's gonna be soon time for first time DMT experience.. I'm just afraid it's gonna change my view of life for the worse because I'm so happy at the moment, what could I gain for that experience? I've read some threads here in bluelight that it has given some bad after effects for some people about how they look their life and see the world after DMT breakthrough.

I could take 2C-B again too, it's been years.. hmm. I need something new thats for sure.

Oh and there's also DOI and DOM. Anyone tried those?
 
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I cried tears of joy on my medical grade LSD trip the other day. I took it reluctantly only because I drank and did coke the night before and was a bit hungover, but for some reason my gf wanted to trip so we ended up doing it. I only took one drop down with 2mg hydergine along with it. I was in a car ride for most of the peak and the driver only had CDs he'd made back from 2010/11 and it was stuff like Avicii lol

I started sweating and having an awesome body high during the car ride and basically felt like I was rolling balls. I would go deep into my mind and find meaning in things I hadn't before. I cried tears of joy because I thought about my best friend.

My best friend always hugs people hes friends with when he greets them, even if he's just seen them a couple of hours before sometimes. He claims it's more hygienic haha but for some reason my mind associated that with the way dogs are always really excited to see you sometimes even when you were just sleeping with them. They're just so happy and excited to be alive and experiencing a new day and getting to experience it with others. then something made me feel like humans were supposed to be that way, and it made me cry a tear of joy for humanity :)

I love you all <3
 
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