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☮ Social ☮ PD Social Thread: N-Dimensional Funhouse of Possibilities

Had very intense closed eyed visuals and also little OEVs when smoked a lot of ganja ~3hrs after taking MDMA, lol I never though how psychedelic MDMA could be when you throw some cannabis in there.

I also vomited about 2 hours after dropping, I took 125mg + 60mg redose about 1-1.5hrs later. That was a first time puking on mdma for me, the dose wasnt even that big, i've done same doses before with no problems. I didnt even drink too fast or anything, no alcohol at all, weird. I just had this cold sweat out of the blue and I had to puke, but after that I was fine but the roll was dulled a little. I left the club and went home like 20 mins after I puked but I really enjoyed it the next 2 hours when I got home and smoked some Jack Herer.

Here's a pic I took on my way home at 3am.

NSFW:
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That sounds like a wonderful combination. I love Jack and Molly so will try one day. Unfortunately I'm in rehab for opiates right now so no drugs for me.:(
 
Had very intense closed eyed visuals and also little OEVs when smoked a lot of ganja ~3hrs after taking MDMA, lol I never though how psychedelic MDMA could be when you throw some cannabis in there.

^^ This was actually my favorite combination for a long time. In my personal experience (and dosing others), it gets the strongest when you smoke around 4.5-5 hours after dosing. :) Like complete out-of-body experiences and delirium if you dose high enough, or if you're sensitive enough. It's not as alien and abstract as typical psychedelic OBEs like DMT, but it's definitely on that level of dream-like realism. The visuals tend to be very silly or mundane in style for me, but that's not to say that they don't get beautiful and quite undeniably psychedelic.
 
Watched my friend basically down a shot of 10+ hits of vial wash last night.. was very surprising to see him tilt that vial straight back into his mouth :!
 
sup friends,

been rocking out to this phish show for liek the past 2 weeks. its so damn good, probably their best show

i'm not even really a "phish fan" per say, but when they really let go and just let the music happen, they are capable of playing at the highest possible level. truly music for music's sake. incredibly psychedelic imho
 
^I'll have to have a listen to it. I have found Phish pretty hard to get into, I must say...

Starting to realise that I've forgotten the basics of punctuation these days- when did this happen?

Anyway, this is a good tune :)-

 
^I'll have to have a listen to it. I have found Phish pretty hard to get into, I must say...

I pretty much don't really like any studio Phish, but there is a bunch of love Phish that I love. The album A Live One is a good place to start.

About an hour outside of Vegas, last night of the trip, gonna go all out. :)
 
just found out that another friend recently killed himself... this time someone that some of you know

bluelighter thedeadlywar, a.k.a. nowwtf on AIM, IRL name Nathan, died two weeks ago today. he was one of my closest friends for the last 7 years, talked to him almost every day. i've been so wrapped up with this new job, though, that i've barely been online lately and didn't even realize until just today that he was dead. :( was flipping around on my phone and thought "i should hit up Nathan, i haven't heard from him in awhile." then i looked at his Facebook page and saw a bunch of people saying things like "miss you bro, RIP"...

fuck.

doesn't even feel real right now.

his shrine thread: http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads/723302-R-I-P-Nathan-lt-3
 
he and i were really close. he's told me many times that i'm his best friend. can't believe it took me 2 weeks to even realize. i feel awful.
 
Edit: read one post back and see pain. My condolences Thenightwatch.

Hope all is well with everyone. I am doing very well, being reformed and enjoying life post living in my parents basement. On the heels of employment and (of course) still opiate free. It is not as easy as it was post iboga 2013, I still have cravings but I figured that would be the price of relapse.

And of course, what social post would be complete without me promoting the latest Youtube uploads. :)
Recordings I made with my best friend.



 
TNW: I remember him, I'm so sorry :(

Hey MGS, listening to your uploads now. Still on vacation or I'd jump on AIM but I'm just on my phone.

Pretty drunk, had to get wasted with my little bro in Vegas, he actually quit before I wanted to but I'm not going to just drink by myself, plus we're catching a plane back to IL tomorrow morning so...

My throat has been hurting increasingly much this trip, my body feels fine though, I think it's just the incredibly dry air, I'm used to like 90% humidity and this is the desert.
 
Staring at the cosmos up in northern minnesota :) Make my problems feel so trivial...but nonethelss I still need to handle them. Bills to pay. I'm trying to sell raw amethyst crystals somehow lol...I'm not optimistic. Alprazolam occasionally gives my brain a break thankfully.

Peace to you all.
 
I'm going to quit Klonopin cold turkey. I'm sick and tired of trying to taper, I know it's just something I am unable to do. It almost always results in me taking more. I've asked my doctor if we could start to taper and she didn't want to. Even though I've explained to her that I'm not an anxious person and getting into benzos was all one big stupid mistake. It pisses me off that I'm not getting any support from my doctor, it's clear she just wants to keep me as a customer. And at this point any way I cannot afford my next visit, nor my next script, so one way or another I have to face the music. Even if she did start me on a taper there's nothing stopping me from just taking them too fast and being in the same situation I'm about to be in. I haven't gone a day without a benzo since July 2012. I'm not on high doses but I know it will be hell. I know it will be stupid, just as stupid as getting into benzos in the first place. I knew all of the risks and it's time to pay the piper. I'm oddly excited for this because I'm pretty damn determined and fucking sick of being dependent on something, or any thing for that matter. I don't have a job at the moment though I may be about to get one. That of course is going to be the ultimate test. I don't give a shit what happens to me at home. I'm prepared for seizures (I suppose). It's inevitable and I know my stubborn personality type. The only way I will learn is if I go through this supposed hell of benzo w/d.

Has anyone cold turkeyed from benzos before?
 
I highly recommened against cold turkey benzo quitting. It goes beyond uncomfortable. Look up a taper guideline online, I'm sure they exist. I've done a kpin cold turkey w/d once and it was a mistake.

I'm going to try buspar soon, and I hope to go it helps. My life has been ruined by my mental illnesses and it's time to actually add medication to therapy. If buspar doesn't work I'm open to benzos. But I don't want to lie to my psych doc :( I had been an opiate addict for some time (clean now). But I think any abusable med is off the table if I mention that. Opiates are the only class of drugs I can't control. I've smoked crack, shot up meth, tried just about everything and had no strong urge to continue. Just opiates. But the doctor won't see that, just a drug addict. But dexedrine and long acting benzos changed my life. I'm really nervous about this.
 
^Laika, I would really urge you to think twice about that. For me, any time I decided to make a big jump down (never completely cold though) I was embraced by complete lunacy and physical chaos. A slow taper, which requires either willpower or someone to ration your benzo's for you, is actually effective and can be relatively mild. I've been off benzo's for over 2 years (I think) and have no real PAWS or residual effects, and my final step from 1mg of diazepam a day to nothing was met with 48hrs of sweating and anxiety and then normalcy. There is, unfortunately, a real potential with rapid reduction of benzos to induce a truly traumatic experience which could have long lasting deleterious effect. You may be prepared for seizures (if that's possible, as they are crazily bizarre and always inappropriate) and high anxiety, but there are a raft of other symptoms (extreme depersonalisation/derealisation, blackouts, temporary intellectual disability, psychosis/violence) that simply can't be prepared for. I think if you could taper down over 3-6months, focusing entirely on the good things you will get as a result, you will have a much higher chance of success here.

Hit me up, or reply here, if you want any advice I may be able to offer :) <3 Either way, you will be in my thoughts...

One final thought, despite the craziness that I experienced, that was a result of constantly fluctuating levels of benzo coupled with pre-existing mental problems; those crazier experiences were pretty much negated by focused tapering. The hell of withdrawal is maybe not as bad as the internet makes its seem....:)

TNW, that's sad news- I recall thedeadlywar...:( That is such sad news, I really feel for you- I'm going through my own cycle of loss after the death of my uncle 2 weeks back, and that sore spot, the empty grief feeling, is a difficult one to face. It can be faced though :) You are in my thoughts, as is Nathan <3
 
The impending inevitability of the situation is that I'm down to only a couple of pills. I can't afford my next doctor visit, nor would I be able to afford the prescription refill. I've tried tapering so many times to no avail. So I feel like this leaves me with only one choice really, well in fact it isn't even a choice, I will be without benzos in a couple of days. Unless I start hitting into my phenazepam, which I'm too scared to touch after seeing what it did to a friend that I gave some to. I really feel like the bandaid method is the only way that will work for me in the long run. I gotta just rip it off instead of peeling it slowly.
I figured if and when it gets unbearable I try to find a free rehab center. Which a quick google search tells me are a real thing in the state I live in.
 
^You may be right, you certainly know yourself and how you respond. It seems that you aren't using in huge doses (?) so your experience might be tolerable. Just be prepared, be safe and surrounded by safe and comfortable things and people :) My own w/d made me crave serenity and peace and calmness, I just wanted my mother :D
 
I'm not trying to shoot down your advice or sound overly stubborn. I really do appreciate you taking the time to give me some words of advice. I'm on roughy 2-3mgs per day. Normally just 2mgs at night. I'm not naturally an anxious person so I can manage throughout the day, but when it comes time to sleep I generally need 2mgs to knock me out. But then there are nights like tonight, where the 2mgs did absolutely nothing to me. So I feel I'm at that point of either doing more or just stopping.

Piss poor relationship with my mother, I probably will only want the comfort of my dog Belle and the girlfriend, though I don't want to give her any added stress through this.

Thank you willow <3
 
just found out that another friend recently killed himself... this time someone that some of you know

bluelighter thedeadlywar, a.k.a. nowwtf on AIM, IRL name Nathan, died two weeks ago today. he was one of my closest friends for the last 7 years, talked to him almost every day. i've been so wrapped up with this new job, though, that i've barely been online lately and didn't even realize until just today that he was dead. :( was flipping around on my phone and thought "i should hit up Nathan, i haven't heard from him in awhile." then i looked at his Facebook page and saw a bunch of people saying things like "miss you bro, RIP"...

fuck.

doesn't even feel real right now.

his shrine thread: http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads/723302-R-I-P-Nathan-lt-3

OMFG. :( Back in the day, we used to chat for hours on AIM, and play Counter-Strike Source together. We both loved dissociatives, and joked about them lowering your I.Q. We called getting high on dissociatives "riding the short bus".

At one point I just kind of stopped talking to him, because my focus was moving away from drugs, and he was still in that phase, so it was kind of draining to talk to him. However, every once in awhile I thought about hitting him up again. Now I'm sad that I didn't get to chat with him one last time. :(

R.I.P. Nathan. <3 He had a beautiful and unique personality and a great sense of humor.


Well, as long as I'm at it, I might as well take this time to feel nostalgic and wistful about the old Bluelight days too, when I would post here almost every day. I feel like life had a spark of magic back then, which was lost at some point. Sigh.
 
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