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☮ Social ☮ PD Social Talk Thread: If 2020 Was the Dumpster, Can 2021 Be the Fire?

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Hey all, please take a few minutes to visit the latest LAVA photo contest and vote. Believe it or not, this round is the largest and most contributed to in the entire history of Bluelight and the photo contest (this is the 410th photo contest), with a whopping 31 entries! It's actually really tough to choose because there are a lot of great ones. We really need all the votes we can get because with 31 entries, it will be hard for anyone to pull out into the lead.

The theme of the contest is "Views".


Thanks :)
Nice, many cool ones this time around, had a hard time choosing
 
I'm so bored here, it's gotten to the point where I'm speedrunning (skipping minutes at a time) reality TV shows lol, it's bad man. People just sit outside and smoke cigs, fucking hell. At least the ADHD testing has started, fucking bane of my life, can't believe it took me 24 years to realize.
 
Seroquel is some shit man, it is so shit that you eventually forget why it's so shit, I swear you literally do not think of it. It's autopiloting to the max, you're easily irritated/angry, any affectionate emotions are gone and your thinking is so slow but you just don't realize, and so much more. You just do things, all while subconsciously craving dopamine boosts. Naturally, every time I see my psychiatrist I say "yeah I'm fine, Seroquel works", luckily I didn't consent with upping the dose, which was not needed at all, I've been objectively calm. Fuck I hate it, already have so many people to apologize to and I'm like a week in.

I don't even know why I'm taking this, I will never risk damaging my brain just to take this for like a year, and even if I'm exactly the same afterwards I don't see what there is to gain by the stint. This whole stay has been a trip, the meds made me completely lose perspective. On the other hand, not taking them carries its own little risks. I will continue cause I pretty much have to but it's been the most ugly experience of my life.

And tomorrow I'll have forgotten all that I've thought and all won't be that bad, cause that's how the Seroquel brain works... Like I said, a trip.. a fucking trip, just very drawn out and unpleasant.
 
Sucks man. :( What dose are you on? Are you on it in order to interrupt the manic episode? If so then maybe it's a good thing as long as you get off it before long.

I have tried it once, I broke a 250mg pill into powder and weighed out 1/10th of the total pill weight, so about 25mg. Ordered like 50 or 100 of the 250mg pills from overseas, since some people recommended it to me as an amazing come-down/sleep drug that is not habit-forming. I took that ~25mg to try to sleep as I had been taking benzos too often for sleep and was having wicked insomnia. It worked, but felt so dirty. I slept like a rock, but the whole next day I felt off, emotionally flat-lined, uninspired, mentally slow, lethargic, anhedonia... it put me off using it for sleep anymore. I feel better if I fail to sleep all night but just lay there and drift, than I did when I slept 8 hours with seroquel. And that was only with 25mg, too...

It will be in my festival kit I always bring to festivals, as an emergency abort switch for when benzos are not enough if someone has totally flipped their shit. I always have etizolam with me and have really turned around a handful of peoples' nights and saved them from having really terrible experiences, including myself once.
 
Seroquel is some shit man, it is so shit that you eventually forget why it's so shit, I swear you literally do not think of it. It's autopiloting to the max, you're easily irritated/angry, any affectionate emotions are gone and your thinking is so slow but you just don't realize, and so much more. You just do things, all while subconsciously craving dopamine boosts. Naturally, every time I see my psychiatrist I say "yeah I'm fine, Seroquel works", luckily I didn't consent with upping the dose, which was not needed at all, I've been objectively calm. Fuck I hate it, already have so many people to apologize to and I'm like a week in.

I don't even know why I'm taking this, I will never risk damaging my brain just to take this for like a year, and even if I'm exactly the same afterwards I don't see what there is to gain by the stint. This whole stay has been a trip, the meds made me completely lose perspective. On the other hand, not taking them carries its own little risks. I will continue cause I pretty much have to but it's been the most ugly experience of my life.

And tomorrow I'll have forgotten all that I've thought and all won't be that bad, cause that's how the Seroquel brain works... Like I said, a trip.. a fucking trip, just very drawn out and unpleasant.
i saw you posting about it, was going to suggest otherwise :-/ at least thats not a super heavy duty antipsychotic, could be worse
 
I'm so bored here, it's gotten to the point where I'm speedrunning (skipping minutes at a time) reality TV shows lol, it's bad man. People just sit outside and smoke cigs, fucking hell. At least the ADHD testing has started, fucking bane of my life, can't believe it took me 24 years to realize.

Oh and I meant to say, you been working out while you're stuck there bored? If not, you really should (if the meds will allow you to), daily working out and being in shape cardiovascularly is so tremendously important in being emotionally stable. I mean I know it's not that simple for you, but there is no way it could hurt and it might really help. Plus once you break through the first few days of it feeling torturous, you start to look forward to it and love your daily workout. I like to do a combination of cardio and strength training (whether that is weights, or body exercises like push ups, sit ups, planking, etc etc). 30 minutes of cardio (stairs, or rowing, or elliptical, or running is ideal if it doesn't hurt your joints like it does me... swimming is amazing if you have access - or a combination of different ones), and then 30 minutes of weights or other forms of strength training to work on muscle.

It's something healthy and useful and productive to use your time for, and you can even do it while you watch reality TV shows. ;) Or wile you listen to music or an audiobook or whatever.
 
i've heard it suggested by a fairly renowned neuropharmacologist who specializes in addiction, goes around giving lectures all over the place, wish i could remember his name, he treated me in one rehab at one point, that giving addicts antipsychotics is counterproductive, as it lowers their threshold dopamine levels, leading to increased cravings and more desire to try to get those "dopamine kicks", and should only be used when absolutely necessary (yet seems to be first line in many "dual diagnosis" facilities - even for those who lack any sort of manic or psychotic symptoms!)
 
Is there a drug that would fit on a blotter that would give you very mild visuals, a kind of sense of looming psychedelia that never comes, a kind of physical come up/body load, resolve into enjoying music a bit more, give some hand trails and little brightening of colours, absolutely NO depersonalisation, and be all done in about 4 hours. Like real kindergarten-level baby acid?
 
I'm not a real addict though :D I admit I like psychedelics, the mindblowing thing is that if the ADHD hypothesis gets confirmed, we might have to re-think this whole bipolar thing. Yes I go through pretty severe mood swings, but when I'm up there's always drugs involved, it's not that much of an episodic nature, not too long either, quite unclear boundaries etc etc.
It could very well be that it's a combination of a pretty terrible lifestyle combined with the ultimate chaos of ADHD. Maybe, maybe not. It doesn't matter really, it just doesn't make sense to tranq me all day every day, without any real diagnosis.

Sucks man. :( What dose are you on? Are you on it in order to interrupt the manic episode? If so then maybe it's a good thing as long as you get off it before long.
I'm on the XR (extended release), so I feel it all day pretty much, 150mg a day in total. I am not manic, I was two weeks ago, although when "manic" I still have my two feet on the ground, I just think I'm fucking awesome and tend to not sleep much because I inevitably involve some drugs (which is a problem, I'll admit that), but I am not addicted to drugs. If I can trip once in a while I won't resist because I just cannot imagine anything that is remotely as fun and has little to no negative repercussions.

i saw you posting about it, was going to suggest otherwise :-/ at least thats not a super heavy duty antipsychotic, could be worse
Yeah could be worse indeed
 
Is there a drug that would fit on a blotter that would give you very mild visuals, a kind of sense of looming psychedelia that never comes, a kind of physical come up/body load, resolve into enjoying music a bit more, give some hand trails and little brightening of colours, absolutely NO depersonalisation, and be all done in about 4 hours. Like real kindergarten-level baby acid?
Acid with tolerance
 
Yeah was gonna say, underdosed tabs and tolerance from tripping too much in too short a span of time. The 4 hours thing seems kinda too short, but if the dose was very low, it might have just receded into the background so as to be not very noticeable after the "peak" ended at 4 hours in.

The NBOMes and NBOHs have short durations like that, but they have a very heavy bodyload and absolutely insane visuals and a pretty strong stimulant aspect as well. Plus they're very rare nowdays. Also the blotters would have tasted very bitter and made your mouth numb.
 
Oh and I meant to say, you been working out while you're stuck there bored? If not, you really should (if the meds will allow you to), daily working out and being in shape cardiovascularly is so tremendously important in being emotionally stable. I mean I know it's not that simple for you, but there is no way it could hurt and it might really help. Plus once you break through the first few days of it feeling torturous, you start to look forward to it and love your daily workout. I like to do a combination of cardio and strength training (whether that is weights, or body exercises like push ups, sit ups, planking, etc etc). 30 minutes of cardio (stairs, or rowing, or elliptical, or running is ideal if it doesn't hurt your joints like it does me... swimming is amazing if you have access - or a combination of different ones), and then 30 minutes of weights or other forms of strength training to work on muscle.
I do push ups and exercises with weights but have been refraining since Seroquel, I didn't even think of it, of course. I have slight smoker lungs though, not looking forward to real cardio hah, although normally I walk large distances daily but that hardly counts. But as far as fitness stuff here, nothing hah, jfc where did I end up.
 
Actually long walks are great cardio, though adding in hills, carrying weight (backpack with stuff in it), or increasing your walking speed will make them even better. I often go on 4-8 mile hikes in the mountains and it's great cardio. Though I find doing a more intense cardio where your target heart rate is higher than you get from walking not only produces more endorphins, but it also gets you in better cardio shape.

Man that sucks they don't have a gym or equipment! For actual drug addicts trying to come and stay off opiates or GABAergics, daily working out is the absolute best thing to be doing, in fact the only time I can ever really get through it and then feel good afterwards is through working out heavily every day.
 
Oxygen deprivation happens if you keep re-inhaling from a balloon without getting oxygen. But nitrous is used medically in a ratio with oxygen to keep oxygen levels healthy, and it has profound effects still then. In fact the effects are better with sufficient oxygen. Nitrous, despite urban legend, works through NMDA receptor antagonism and some other mechanisms, not because of brain damage or cell death. When abused sufficiently, it does cause B12 deficiency which can be really bad, though

I have found pre charging a 1 liter vessel (soda bottle) with about 10psi O2, then shooting a cart in it, is better than just the cart.

Back.jpg
 
I recently got back into weightlifting after almost a 25-year absence and I feel phenomenal. Today I did biceps for an hour, took an hour rest and then did shoulders for an hour.

(4-6 sets of each with moderate weight)

Bis:
Wide-grip Barbell Curls
Narrow Barbell Curls
Dumbbell Curls
Concentration Curls

Shoulders:
Front Dumbbell Raises
Side Dumbbell Raises
Bent Over Dumbbell Raises
Dumbbell Shrugs

Good stuff, baby! 🏋️‍♂️
 
Regarding Seroquel, I was thrown on that briefly back in my doctor-shopping, drug-seeking days. Started me out on 400mg pills, twice a day, I believe. 2 weeks pass and all of a sudden I have a moment of lucidity, like “What the FUCK? I’ve spent the last 2 weeks eating and watching TV” (I don’t watch TV)
I was on some bizarre autopilot just going through life, it killed my spark. Got off that immediately; they clearly were dosing me wayyyy too high. Totally flat affect.
On the other hand, I’ve had friends who were reasonably dosed and it worked wonders for stabilizing their mood.
No doctor am I
 
Lamictal is supposed to be a good stabilizer without horrific side effects. Easy to get on and off of, no SSRI activity, etc.
 
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